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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

There have been many threads in Ask/Tell and GBS lately about getting engaged/married, so I thought it would be useful to consolidate resources in a easy-to-read thread. Have a question about diamond quality? Ask here! Don't know your Gerbera from your Snapdragon? Ask here! Want to know what cummerbund will match your Princess Peach-style dress? Ask and prepare to be mocked!


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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

Bumping since Bizarro Toby closed the other thread.

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Distended Bowel
Dec 27, 2006

Powdered ToastMan!

Well, since this is the "megathread", I'm assuming it's safe to talk about things other than rings.

I was engaged for 6 months during a 5 year relationship, but unfortunately, things didn't work out and we went our separate ways.

Anyway - my ring (which was absolutely amazing, 1.2 carats) cost my fiancee between $5000-$8000. He never gave me an exact amount, but I'd say it was closer to $6000 - $7000.

My wedding dress was about $800. It was a Moonlight dress. My veil (long) was $300 and the shoes were $135. This poo poo is expensive.

The Bridesmaid dresses were $90 each from good ol' Davids Bridal.

The catering and photography packages we were looking at were between $1200-$2400.

The cake (I wanted cupcakes instead) would've ran about $300.


Yeah, weddings are definitely not cheap. I would caution any couple, specifically those who are paying for it themselves, to really take a look at what is most important and "cut the fat", if you will. If I ever get engaged again, I will never, ever ,ever go through planning a big wedding again. It was horrible, stressful, and zero fun. I'd rather go to Hawaii or Vegas instead!

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

Since you didn't get married, were you able to return most of it?

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Bizarro Toby
Apr 16, 2002


Gravitee posted:

Since you didn't get married, were you able to return most of it?

I used to work for a bridal boutique. Dresses are usually non-returnable (although we did have girls try, including one who stood outside smoking while her mother tried to sell us a story that her daughter had died and therefore would be unable to wear the dress - the dress had obviously been worn).

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IdeoPhanthus
Oct 22, 2004



cannonballs posted:

Expensive stuff!

This is basically what made me rethink my wedding. Last year I signed up on theknot.com and started planning. From there I was able to get basic costs for dresses (most of my picks ended up in the $800 range), centerpieces/favors, and other small stuff. Then I went to bridal expos. Things started to add up quick. Decent photographers hovered around a minimum of $1500-2000 for 3-5 hours & getting access to all of the photos (400-600); the better the photographer, the less they offered in that price range. Limos ranged from $500 (car) to $1000 (hummer) for a 3hr wedding package. Most nice looking places to have the ceremony were $500-700 rental fee for an hour. Then there's catering at $7-14 a plate, DJ fee ($1000+), reception hall rental, alcohol, etc. Then there's still the engagement ring that's not paid off yet (at jewelers, layaway the past yr, was $1000, somehow only paid off $200 of it so far), and the wedding rings. It was a shock to see I was looking at $10k, when we're paying for it ourselves (in cash, no loans).

I started calculating & chopped things down. I basically came to the conclusion that we would use our connections to get deals where we could. I've never been in a limo, so I left that on the list...or maybe I'll swap it for arriving/leaving in a really nice classic/rare car. I dropped all my ceremony ideas in favor of finding a nice, scenic, cheap place to have it, without decorations. I know people who do cakes & catering professionally & can give us deals. I never do anything with my hair (or makeup), so I'm keeping the whole "go to pro hairdresser" thing. And I'm putting most of the focus on the reception, which is where most of the cost is anyway (guest list hovers around 100 & can't be lessened any more than it already was..I tried). We're friends with the owner of a good sized bar, dance floor, stage, etc, so we can get a deal to rent that. We know a lot of bands and a couple DJ's, so we could go the route of a live band or two, and a DJ, and still spend less than most wedding DJ's want. We know a bartender, plan to provide our own liquor (ours would be free to everyone). All that dropped the costs by about half, which is much more affordable...I just wish I knew a good photographer who didn't charge insane rates (the ones I've seen in the $1000 range are all horrible around here).

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Jun 28, 2003

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My wife and I spent a total of roughly 3500 dollars on everything pertaining to the wedding, which included ceremony and reception for about 50 people. If you don't have rich parents and are willing to scale back you can easily have a nice wedding without taking on five figures of debt.

We bought basic and inexpensive but still nice looking and tasteful rings, to the tune of about 300 dollars total. Neither of us could fathom spending several thousand dollars on a piece of jewelry. I won't begrudge people who do things like this, but bring it up with your s/o BEFORE dropping several large on a flashy ring. It might not be as 'romantic' to talk about buying an engagement ring instead of surprising her, but the world is not the fairy tale movies would have you believe, and once the euphoric good feelings of an engagement/wedding fade (and they WILL), you don't want to be left in a deep financial hole.

We also decided it would be most cost effective to have the ceremony and reception at the same place. We had ours at a nice, but not ridiculously fancy restaurant where the only charged us a small ($150) fee for the ceremony, and a per-head cost for the reception (About 35-40 dollars IIRC). Everyone had a great time and enjoyed the food, and no one complained about it not being at a super-ritzy 150 dollar/head venue.

It was also very helpful for us that photography and videography were not a huge priority. We had a family member do the photography for free and she did a great job. We also had a family member make our wedding cake at no cost, which turned out spectacularly and was on par with a professional cake, but obviously not everyone has these luxuries. You can usually use family connections to skim away at your costs though, so don't hesitate to make use of those resources.

Basically, don't stress yourself out too much over the whole thing. Remember WHY you are marrying this person if you find yourselves getting too caught up in the wedding logistics. A wedding is only the first step, not the ultimate goal, and you have your whole lives (hopefully) ahead of you, which will likely be filled with many challenges far greater than those involved in planning a wedding. I'm starting to sound a bit preachy, but just remember to keep things in perspective and don't kill yourselves over a one-day event.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

I think a lot of people just don't know how to plan and so they just stress out for the last three months. I've been doing a few things each month, and I'm way ahead of a future cousin who is getting married two weeks later. I spent the first month after I got engaged just researching everything. I think it's helped tremendously.

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Psychobabble
Jan 17, 2006


I was lucky enough to be a part of a really amazing wedding last summer. The bride and groom rented two houses on the top of a mountain in West Virginia, one for a week and the other for four days. The houses cost less than $2000 that was shared among the massive amounts of people staying in them, I want to say around 20-30 staying in the two, one two story the other three. The bride's sister was studying baking & pastry arts and brought along her friend from school (me.) Over the course of a month or so we planned a three course plated menu with stationed apps for 50 people for the rehearsal dinner + a buffet lunch for after the wedding the next day + the wedding cake. I worked out a budget for all the food and was able to buy everything for less than $500. The flowers were bought from an online retailer in big generic bunches, the bridesmaids spent the night before the wedding have a girls night in one of the hot tub rooms drinking, soaking and arranging flowers. The dress was bought for less than $500. DJ equipment was supplied by the grooms brother with mixed cd's by one of the bride's sisters. The wedding wasn't really officiated, there was a book of prose, poetry, etc. that was passed down the wedding party with each member coming to the front and reading a page and the final blessing was given by the bride's great uncle. Pictures were taken by a close friend who's a professional photographer. I've been to some expensive ($200/head) weddings, but this one was by far the most amazing one.

So all in all I guess what I'm saying is that with intense planning (seriously intense thorough forethought) a wedding can be amazing on a strict budget. Every purchase we made was carefully thought over and we saved tons of money. Use your connections to your advantage (within reason of course.)

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Dec 24, 2005

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Has anyone bought an engagement ring or other pricey item from Blue Nile before? My GF and I have decided to get engaged and I know what I'm looking for in a ring. I like to buy things online generally because I feel like I'm getting a better value. Blue Nile is traded on the NASDAQ so I'd assume they're pretty safe as far as my money goes, but I'm just curious if anyone can report on the experience of shopping with them. Is their shipping safe and quick, are they helpful, etc.? I really don't want to buy from a store because I feel like I'm in a worse position for analyzing, whereas online I can get a loose diamond and know its exact specs.

Short Version: How is shopping at BlueNile.com

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NoArmedMan
Apr 1, 2003



I'm just about to get married on March 15th, and although the wedding it still expensive, we got costs down quite a bit in a few key areas so I thought I'd mention how so other people could gain some knowledge from it.

First off, one of the first things we did was go around and see photographers and some were absolutely terrible and would charge an arm and a leg. We ended up finding a photography student with wedding experience for about 1/2 the price we would've paid for a professional photographer. Just make sure you check out their folio and their experience, just don't assume they will be great and cheap, but this is the case for any photographer.

We're having a very casual wedding and it helps. My fiance and I are having it at her parents place, who own a garden property, then we hired a marquee, tables and chairs from a local provider. With this + catering, it still turned out much cheaper than hiring a venue which supplies catering, if you have this option, investigate it.

In our case, having it at her parents place meant much less travel also, so no cars had to be hired as she was getting ready at the place of the ceremony, and I was a short drive away.

We're also dumping a few other traditions but mainly not for cost, such as the bridal waltz and the bridal table, so people can talk and mingle between themselves. Seating plans are also out the window so people can sit where they want also.

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Nov 29, 2004
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skipdogg posted:

Very helpful, very nice, very fast shipping. A friend of mine has nothing but good things to say about them.

Thanks, I think I'll take them on a test drive and get some pearl earrings for V-day.

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Karnegal posted:

Is their shipping safe and quick, are they helpful, etc.? I really don't want to buy from a store because I feel like I'm in a worse position for analyzing, whereas online I can get a loose diamond and know its exact specs.

Short Version: How is shopping at BlueNile.com

I peruse their site everytime I get new stuff in just to comparison shop and their loose stone prices arent bad. Not great, but not bad. From what I see, they're making the money on the settings since they're charging two to three times my cost.

As far as reputable goes, a lot of people enjoy spending money there if their earnings were any indicator.

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Exelsior
Aug 4, 2007


I got married for super cheap because we are looking to buy a house soon. The whole thing was AU$2000. Cutting down the guest list is pretty much the biggest money saver. We had 45 people. Aunts and uncles but no cousins were invited, and then a few of our friends. We did away with a lot of unnecsasary things, like favours and bridal limos. To break it down:

Ceremony

Venue: Free, it was held at the church we attend.
Pastor, sound tech: $50
Wedding dress: Free, borrowed from a friend.
Shoes: $30 white ballet flats.
Bridemaids dresses: £15 each, simple red cotton dresses from H&M
Grooms clothes: White shirt, black vest for $80. Already had black pants and shoes.
Groomsmens clothes: Grey shirt, black vest: $80 for each groomsman. They wore their own black pants and shoes.
Hair, makeup: Free. We did our own makeup, and the girls and I wore our hair loose.
Flowers: $36 for two bouquets for the bridesmaids. I didn't have one as I walked down the aisle with both my parents and didn't have anywhere to hold it.
Photos: Free, Family friend is a photographer.
Rings: My engagement ring was a three stone with black sapphires, and small diamonds on the band. $155. Our wedding rings were matching plain gold bands, $100 each. For those who are looking at rings, I highly recommend buying a bridal set rather than separate rings. If the engagement ring is unusual, you will have a hard time finding a matching wedder unless you get it specially made. I wear my e-ring and wedder on separate hands. Also: do not underestimate the comfort of plain, stone free bands.


Reception:
Venue: Free, it was held at my parents house.
Marquee, table and chair hire: $300
Food: $900 from a catering company. We had it buffet style.
Cake: I made my own three tier rich fruit cake. Cake ingredients ran me $50, icing $20.

Things I would have done differently:
Probably eloped. Less stress, less cost.
Different photographer. We left it far too late to hire a proper wedding photographer, and the one we got was too slow and missed important shots.
Bought the engagement and wedding bands together, to make sure they fit.

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Feb 6, 2008
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IdeoPhanthus posted:

All that dropped the costs by about half, which is much more affordable...I just wish I knew a good photographer who didn't charge insane rates (the ones I've seen in the $1000 range are all horrible around here).

Are there any universities near you? You could see if they have any societies for amateur photographers and invite 2 or 3, being students they'd probably do it for free to get some practice and some food

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DubDisciple
Jan 9, 2005
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I'm not going to say what we are spending but I will say that there are some really bad bands and photographers and florists out there that are at the upper end of the price scale. Still can't really tell if they know and they consider themselves frauds, or if they are completely oblivious to how hideous their creations/talents are. Doesn't really matter.

Anyway I can answer a lot of planning questions (I'm sure some other people in this thread can too) so ask away. We're just about done with planning (signed our band last night).

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Queen of Roses
Jan 12, 2007

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I just got married in November, so I'm up for questions, too!

Our most expensive thing was, in fact, the biggest money saver. We had our reception at a really swanky hotel (the O. Henry, for any Greensboro/Triad goons) and those folks covered just about everything. It was either $5,000 or $10,000 (I can't remember which, but it was a round number. My folks obviously footed the bill.) It covered rental space, catering, transportation for me and my groom, tables/chairs, table linens, centerpieces, our hotel room for the wedding night, and (we chose our own baker but could have opted for) cake+cake cutting. In addition, any of our guests that wanted to stay at said hotel for the wedding got discounted rates, which was EXTREMELY important for us, as 90% of our guests were from out of town.

I have discovered that the catering will always get you, price-wise. Especially liquor. So my advice to would-be brides/grooms is arrange your reception so that (aside from a champagne toast or something) no alcohol will even be expected, so you won't have to serve it. Open bars jack up catering prices like you wouldn't believe. Even wine and beer alone will slap an extra couple thousand onto your bill. We had an English tea reception and it was just perfect. I also think a brunch reception would be a good idea; having your wedding early in the day makes it more casual as a plus. If the tea thing didn't work out, I was going to push for a dessert reception. If you're trying to save money, just do whatever you can to avoid a sit-down dinner sort of thing. Then you have to hire waiters, too! Even a buffet is better.

My other big piece of advice is: ladies, hire someone to christina aguilera naked photo come to the church/wherever and do your hair and makeup. Don't fool around with running around, fighting traffic, waiting in line, trying to get to the salon in time. I also think doing it yourself or getting a friend or family member to do it for you is too stressful as well. I spent $150 on that stylist and it was about the best money I had spent on the whole freaking wedding. I was so relaxed as a result. I have hard-to-manage hair and I'm prone to acne, so having to rely on my own skills, get my mother to do my hair, and so forth would have been a stressful nightmare. Not to mention that most of my girlfriends, although any of them would have been happy to help, never show up for anything on time. None of them. My engaged friends seem to think that's too much money to spend on a stylist and blow me off, but I looked amazing on my wedding. Totally worth it. All I needed to do was show up at the church in an old button-down shirt and pajama pants and wait to be pampered. What's not to love about that?

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Jun 21, 2004
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This is a great thread, I've just started planning my wedding. Offbeat Bride is a great site. I'm not having a totally alternative wedding, but it has great ideas.

One of which was to have your wedding pictures printed into a book by Blurb. You download the book designing software for free then order books. They're VERY reasonable (about $25-40 a book 40 page book depending on soft or hard cover) plus shipping. If you have a photographer who doesn't offer an album (the one I'm looking at is great, but doesn't offer nice albums), you could use this to make your own, as well as parent's albums. A company I've looked at offered these books for close to $200 each! I thought it was a great idea (the company's photography was pretty crappy, though) and now that I can do it myself (with great pictures), I'm really excited. There's a discount from Offbeat Bride until the end of March (2008) with $5 off orders of $30 or more. The discount code is offbeat5. Great idea for gifts and such!

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

Queen of Roses posted:

Our most expensive thing was, in fact, the biggest money saver. We had our reception at a really swanky hotel (the O. Henry, for any Greensboro/Triad goons) and those folks covered just about everything. It was either $5,000 or $10,000 (I can't remember which, but it was a round number. My folks obviously footed the bill.) It covered rental space, catering, transportation for me and my groom, tables/chairs, table linens, centerpieces, our hotel room for the wedding night, and (we chose our own baker but could have opted for) cake+cake cutting. In addition, any of our guests that wanted to stay at said hotel for the wedding got discounted rates, which was EXTREMELY important for us, as 90% of our guests were from out of town.

I'm having my ceremony and reception at the hotel since all of my familly will be from out of town. People can still have their fun and not have to drive home. Our hotel does the same thing as yours, except an open bar is included in the per head price. It makes it so much nicer than I'm not going to worry about the caterer, bartender, linens, etc.

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IdeoPhanthus
Oct 22, 2004



Power Dips posted:

Are there any universities near you? You could see if they have any societies for amateur photographers and invite 2 or 3, being students they'd probably do it for free to get some practice and some food

Once I saw prices & how much of a difference there was between even the expensive photographers, I was planning to check for students. Looking at the pro's portfolios, I really noticed how there was only a few who were actually good at capturing the moment when it comes to people socializing. Some photographers are excellent at making still life interesting, or posing people & getting a great shot, but there's so few that I came across that managed to almost always get good the best shots of people interacting; the kinds of shots that are full of emotion to the point where you really feel it when you look at the photo. I'm beginning to think that half the pro's only got there because of word of mouth (or they were good capturing other subjects, so figured they could take great wedding photos too for quick cash) combined with people who didn't care about their portfolio, and the other half actually got there because they can actually capture the right moments with a great photo.

I think I might post an ad on craigslist for a start to see if any students bite, and see what skills they've got for photographing people. I really don't want to "settle" for a crappy photographer just to save money, and I know there are talented students out there, so I'm hoping I'll get lucky. We have a community college nearby, but I'm going to skip that route & go straight for searching in the capital region since there's more colleges there & I'm more likely to find a decent student photographer there.

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Apr 7, 2007

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A good tip for people who want a salon experience, but don't want to deal with the cost: find a cosmetology school in your area. Most, if not all, schools take regular clients so that their students can practice on real people. Go in a few months before the wedding and check out the place; their prices, what the atmosphere is like, explain what you're looking for, etc. Don't be scared off by the idea of going there though. In well-run places, the students aren't allowed on the floor to take real clients until after they've completed many classes and have proved that they won't burn off someone's hair with bleach. Also, a good school won't mind if you ask questions and look at their facilities.

There's a local place here that will do a style for $14 and makeup for anywhere from free (basic touch-up) to $20 (full deal with very good quality make up). Places will also offer packages, so you could get a haircut + manicure for cheaper than if you did them separate. It's a great way to cut the cost on pampering the bridal party too.

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Asshole Bicycle
Nov 4, 2007


I was engaged in May of '06. I spent around $800 on a sapphire ring. I'm glad I only spent that much, because we split up a year later.

If I ever get engaged again, I'm gonna insist that the money that goes towards a wedding should go to a down payment on a house or a car or something. Something tangible, not 50 sad chicken dinners and a dress.

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DubDisciple
Jan 9, 2005
Jah Jah never fail I yet

Again, not going to share how much we are spending, but I couldn't imagine having a wedding where the guests didn't expect alcohol. So our hotel, where we are having the ceremony and cocktails also, is doing it all. Open bars the whole time. We haven't done photographer yet and we aren't getting anywhere with flowers either.

But we do have the place and catering done, the rabbi, and the band. She also has her dress.

I am so so glad we signed our band last night.

For ways to save a little here and there, we don't have anything for ceremony music and might get some strings from a local conservatory.

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Sausage
Dec 27, 2002

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cannonballs posted:

I was engaged for 6 months during a 5 year relationship, but unfortunately, things didn't work out and we went our separate ways.

Anyway - my ring (which was absolutely amazing, 1.2 carats) cost my fiancee between $5000-$8000. He never gave me an exact amount, but I'd say it was closer to $6000 - $7000.

Wow, I had a very similar experience. Our relationship lasted roughly 4.5yrs, ending after our 4 month engagement.

We went about the ring thing a little too intelligently and did it together, taking some of the romance out of the whole process. We learned as much as possible, and decided on the 5 c's that suited us before we went shopping. First we did a practice run at Robbins Bros. (local retailer) to try out our sales/negotiating skills. For roughly a 1.2 carat diamond with a white gold band we negotatied them from $10,000 to around $7,000 before leaving. Then we took our skills to the LA jewelry mart and got the same thing from a recommended jeweler, and my fiancee spent between $2000-$3000 (I think we negotiated down from around $4,000). FOR THE SAME THING.

The important thing to know ahead of time is that more often than not, the price is negotiable. Also, after we picked out our diamond we didn't let it out of our site. We went with it and watched them put it in its setting.

edited with correction.

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Sausage posted:

The important thing to know ahead of time is that no matter where you go, the price is negotiable. Also, after we picked out our diamond we didn't let it out of our site. We went with it and watched them put it in its setting.

Actually, Walter Hoving made it a policy that Tiffanys will never negotiate price.

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May 22, 2007

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After trying to plan our wedding on a budget, I learned quickly that the only way to have a wedding in NYC without bleeding tons of money is to 1) do it at city hall or 2) do it in your own house (which is pretty much not an option in the city). We opted for city hall, it cost us $75 - $25 for the application and $50 for the ceremony. My mom spent $300 on a cute white sundress for me from Lily Pulitzer, my husband wore a suit he already had, and that was that. We had delicious cheeseburgers from PJ Clarke's afterward and went to Shun Lee for dinner.

Everything here is SO expensive, and everyone has money. You can't rent a space for under $5,000, which is huge in itself. Add food, music, alcohol, and flowers, and it's approaching $20,000 without even trying. I gave up.

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Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

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My parents are insane, and spent $100,000 on my recent wedding and honeymoon. Yes, I know how crazy that is. That was not something I wanted, but my mother had a tiny tiny cheap wedding (where her dad fell off the wagon), so she was reliving things through me. My husband and I thought about eloping to avoid the expense and stress, but both of our parents begged us not to. In the end, it's my parents money, so if they wanted to go crazy, I couldn't really stop them, although I tried for a while. I also have a very very huge family. The wedding actually turned out great, but I used to do semi-pro wedding photography and can say that inexpensive weddings turn out great too.

The most expensive thing was catering. Oy was that pricey. My dad used to be a chef, so everything had to be top of the line, and we had 230+ guests. We did save money by having the wedding cake done by the caterer. Flowers came second, but it was worth it(since it wasn't my $$$). We saved money with the flowers by skipping roses and out of season flowers. We also saved money by having the ceremony and the reception at the same location. My dress was handmade by a family friend, and while it was supposed to cost $5,000, she only charged us for materials. Photo and video were $5,000, but totally worth it. Being a photographer, I knew I wanted the best. It was totally worthit. The band was another $5,000, but my husband and I fought that hard - we wanted a DJ to save money. My parents wouldn't hear of it. We did skip having an engagement party to save money, and I don't regret that decision. We bought my bridesmaids dresses for them, because although they were averagely priced, my bridesmaids were either related to me or were broke grad students. I personally spent some of my own money to have a groom's cake made by Duff Goldman, who has a tv show on Food Network. I was surprised to find how reasonable his prices were. The cake was Super Mario themed - I haven't played a video game in at least a decade, but my husband is in the video game industry. It turned out great. Even the old people at the wedding recognized Mario!

I feel really strongly about engagement and wedding rings. You do not have to spend huge amounts of money to get something nice. My engagement ring was my great-grandmother's wedding band. It is not a diamond solitaire. I like how understated it is (.25ct of diamonds and emeralds total). My wedding band was from my other great-grandmother, so it was also free. It also has far less than 1ct of stones. It is also understated. I am really thrilled that both rings are not a product of the continuing conflict in Africa. While conflict diamonds are banned in most Western countries, I'm very paranoid about some finding their way in to the market for clean stones. If i didn't have rings already in the family, I would have sent my husband to estate sales.

After the wedding, I spent $250 to have my bouquet preserved, and it was worth every penny. It's freeze dried and framed on my dining room wall.

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opie
Nov 28, 2000
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I somehow managed to plan my wedding last year for around $6k. I had and still have no idea about wedding traditions and any of that junk, so I kept it really simple. We had a pretty casual ceremony and reception for 40 family members at free tits porn videos on the beach. No bar, no dj, just the beach and lunch. The groom and I got dressed up and my dad walked me down the aisle, but we didn't have a wedding party.

Since it was so casual, I didn't really worry about much, except my in-laws. I picked a location close to my own family, and I thought they wanted us to have a formal Catholic wedding, but they had a great time. If I could do it again, I don't think I'd change a thing.

If we had invited our friends, I think things would've been a lot more stressful. I basically did it for my family (my husband is only close to his parents and brother), and I think it was worth it. My dad's family was all weepy because I used my late grandma's rings. They're not particularly spectacular, but I'd rather have something sentimental than flashy.

Other things I didn't pay for include the cake (cousin's a pastry chef), the photographer (I didn't want one but my mom did), and the chairs and archway my mom rented for the ceremony.

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Bastard Tetris
Apr 27, 2005
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I just went to my buddy's wedding, and he's a chef. Between him and two of his old coworkers and friends they made an amazing dinner for 100+ guests. They ended up doing all of this for $600. It was the most DIY wedding I've ever seen, and I can't imagine the whole thing costing more than a couple grand. He spent the whole wedding going "oh god something horrible is going to happen" but it never did

Weddings get vastly less expensive when you have friends in the right places. It seems like they did a better job, too.

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JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
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dukeofurl posted:

Actually, Walter Hoving made it a policy that Tiffanys will never negotiate price.

It's a very good policy. I never negotiate on price. If a customer needs to spend less we move to a different diamond or a simpler setting.

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Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

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Bastard Tetris posted:

Weddings get vastly less expensive when you have friends in the right places. It seems like they did a better job, too.

This is absolutely true. I think that if my Dad was still a professional chef and had all his contacts, my catering would cost a lot less.

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Sausage
Dec 27, 2002

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JohnnyRnR posted:

It's a very good policy. I never negotiate on price. If a customer needs to spend less we move to a different diamond or a simpler setting.

Sales people do the same thing everywhere (car lots in particular), which is why as the consumer you should try to avoid telling them your budget at all costs. Once they know your budget, they move you to the retail range that matches your budget. If however, you can find the ring (or car, etc.) that you WANT, and THEN discuss your budget, you can often times get it for the price you want it at too. This is why sales people push and push and PUSH you to give them a number.

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Incongruous
Feb 11, 2003

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opie posted:

I somehow managed to plan my wedding last year for around $6k. I had and still have no idea about wedding traditions and any of that junk, so I kept it really simple. We had a pretty casual ceremony and reception for 40 family members at amateur big tits sex on the beach.

Wow, that's where my fiance and I are looking at for our wedding! We're actually going to check it out sometime this spring. What time of the year did you get married? Unfortunately, all my family and his family are from out of state, which makes things a bit more expensive, but we're selling this wedding as an Oregon vacation to our families so that they'll be more willing to shell out for hotel rooms. Anyway, I can't imagine a wedding more lovely than one with the ocean in the background - who needs ornate flowers and crystal anyway?

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opie
Nov 28, 2000
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Incongruous posted:

Wow, that's where my fiance and I are looking at for our wedding! We're actually going to check it out sometime this spring. What time of the year did you get married? Unfortunately, all my family and his family are from out of state, which makes things a bit more expensive, but we're selling this wedding as an Oregon vacation to our families so that they'll be more willing to shell out for hotel rooms. Anyway, I can't imagine a wedding more lovely than one with the ocean in the background - who needs ornate flowers and crystal anyway?
We got married September 9, the weekend after labor day. I think we managed to get the best weather of the year as well. My parents live in Lincoln City and usually it's cold, windy, and rainy. But that day I think it hit 90 and it was just windy enough to blow my veil off a couple times. It's a little hard to hear anything over the ocean, but we had a really short ceremony so it wasn't hard to follow along.

If you get married around that time maybe we'll run into you, because I'd really like to go back for our anniversary. We were kind of too busy to really enjoy the awesome room we had, and didn't stay for a honeymoon or anything. My husband's parents drove up and down the coast, and did a bunch of things I've never done even though I lived there for years, like watched whales and stuff. They're from Chicago and said they never would've thought to go to Oregon, and wished they had more time to see stuff.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

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Does anyone have any good first dance song selections? We really can't come up with anything solid. We enjoy rock and indie music, so no Phil Collins please.

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Unagi
Jan 27, 2007


PISSmaster




I am not married, nor engaged, nor do I plan on being either for at least a few years. I have been involved with planning a few weddings (which unfortunately fell through) but I have a few questions.

Ceremony and reception aside, what is the "norm" for spending on a decent honeymoon? You can always find ways to get a cheaper dress or photographer if you look hard enough or have connections, but saving on the honeymoon seems much harder unless you don't make much of an event from it.

Also, have any of you had to deal with family members traveling to attend? Do you try to have the reception at a hotel or other place they could reside? Do you pay for their rooms? How would you handle that? When planning my sisters wedding, which was to take place at a Virginia vineyard with a small resort. The entire family (100+) was traveling from New York, but the vineyard's hotel only had 8 rooms. Enough for the wedding party and immediate family members, but everyone else was pretty much SOL. Is that how you just leave it?

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Siroc
Oct 10, 2004

Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!


Friends of mine are getting married at a vineyard, then I saw this thread and had a question. What are some good general ideas for wedding locations that are non-traditional (meaning not inside a religious building or courthouse). Just looking for some place like a vineyard that would be really cool, but maybe not a lot of people think of.

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IdeoPhanthus
Oct 22, 2004



Siroc posted:

Friends of mine are getting married at a vineyard, then I saw this thread and had a question. What are some good general ideas for wedding locations that are non-traditional (meaning not inside a religious building or courthouse). Just looking for some place like a vineyard that would be really cool, but maybe not a lot of people think of.

Some places I've come across...

State Parks:
-usually cheap daily rental
-some have beaches
-option to have a spot with a pavillion
-scenic
-you could have both the ceremony & reception there

Restaurants:
-There are ones in scenic areas if you want an outdoor ceremony
-Some have decorative/nice rooms where you could hold a ceremony
-You can also opt to hold the reception there as well

Gardens & Scenic city parks:
-Some are state/city run, others may be run by a volunteer group
-Most have a smaller attendance limit & rules (numbers, noise, chair use, etc)
-Typically cheap, usually just request that you donate in exchange
-Downfall is that it's usually still open to the public while you're there

Music halls & Museums:
-The buildings themselves are usually decorative inside & out
-They have the space to hold a ceremony
-It's as easy as calling & asking if they rent out different areas for ceremonies

I was looking at a local museum (national museum of dance). They had a beautiful room where ceremonies were held, but that was just one of the location options on their property. So, choices aren't limited to the usual hotel/church/city hall. If you see any building or property (open to the public) you like, odds are good that if you call them, they'll allow you to rent the space for at least a ceremony for $XXX/hr.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

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Unagi posted:


Also, have any of you had to deal with family members traveling to attend? Do you try to have the reception at a hotel or other place they could reside? Do you pay for their rooms? How would you handle that?

As I've mentioned, I'm having my wedding at a hotel. We are not paying for rooms, but the hotel offers a discount to everyone who attends. My family is all spread out - I'm inviting people from six states and Canada so it's just not feasible for one person to pay for it. I've been invited to a destination wedding and it was the same deal. You had to pay your way to get there, but everything was either discounted or included in the price.

I think in your sister's case, as a courtesy she should have arranged a deal with a nearby hotel to reserve a block of rooms for out of town guests.

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