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IdeoPhanthus
Oct 22, 2004



Is it going to be too much to handle making the bouquets (bridesmaids because they're simple/quick) the day before the wedding, and then getting up early the day of to set up for the reception?

We're putting together the centerpieces too and we have to do all of the set-up the morning of the wedding. It's at a bar, and they're open the night before (don't close until 4am), so there's no way we can set up the tables/chairs/etc the night before. Add to that, the owner is in the wedding party, and there's no caterer or florist to set things up for us while we're getting dressed & married. Everything is simple enough (setup-wise) that we should be able to make the centerpieces the night before & get everything setup pretty quick the morning of. I figure it shouldn't be too difficult to get it all set up with the help of my mom, a couple bridesmaids, and a couple of the guys. The reception is going to be about 10 tables (6 seats each) and the head table. Has anyone else ever done their own setup?

Edit: Also, what do you do after the "I do" & kiss if you're not doing a reciecving line (and the reception is elsewhere)? Most of the time I see that the bridesmaids/groomsmen walk out paired, but usually it's to a spot where the guests can hug/kiss them as they leave (and after that the wedding party does the formal pictures). I hate recieving lines, so where does the wedding party go when exiting down the aisle if we're skipping doing a recieving line? Do we just all exit down the aisle & walk straght to the spot where we'll be taking the formal pics?

---
And now I just need to get a couple frustrations out...so everything that follows is basically a long rant. Honestly, I should have started planning further ahead of time than just 2wks ago. I kept meaning to, but also kept procrastinating.

The lady we were going to have do the cake basically backed out. She said we wouldn't find anyone to do filled (between the layers) cakes in the summer. She complained that my cake would serve 400 (based on cutting guides that say 1" slice equals one serving), & I'd have insane leftovers. By her standards we should just do a single tier 14" round cake because it would serve 100 people. Then when I mentioned using styrofoam for the bottom tier (which would have been a 12" or 14"), she said it was too much trouble to buy the styrofoam & do it up. beautiful women having sex That was when she admitted she only did cakes as a hobby & that I really needed to talk to a pro because my design was out of her league. My design was basically vanessa cruz porn star except with no design on the icing, and a partial flower wrap on the bottom tiers, a partial flower wrap on the top tier, and a flower accent as the topper (a florist decorates the cake with the flowers, not her). I saw her portfolio, and she had done several cakes like that, and they all looked good...the only difference was that she doesn't do fillings. So now we're going to talk to a person who does it as more than a hobby. If that doesn't work out, I'm just going to buy the equipment (pillars, plates, etc) & have my fiance's mom do it. She did pastries for a living, I've just been avoiding having her do it because he always makes a big deal out of her spinal injuries, so the last thing I'd want her to be doing is making the cake the day before and then setting it up the day of, as well as attending the wedding. Yet he keeps suggesting her & commenting about how that's all she does now anyway (sits around & bakes).

Then the girl I wanted to bartend (she's awesome at it and nice, whereas the other bartenders we know are bitchy) wants to hang out as a guest instead. She's a work friend & all, but I really wanted her to bartend. Now if we have to invite her as a guest it's two extra people to feed. Yes...guests went from being looked at as "oh hey, they're friends, lets put them on the invite list" to "chopping down the list, weeding out all but the closest family & friends, everyone's turning into dollar signs."

Then one of my coworkers, who I've only known a month and very rarely speak to, asks when the wedding is. I tell her it's in August, and she says "can I come". Why would someone do that? I would expect it from a friend, but not from a random coworker I barely know.

Then on top of all that there was the cost of wedding shoes. Prices ranging from $80-250 for uncomfortable shoes? Screw that! I bought a pair of white boots for $60 that I know will have comfortable padding. Aside from the fact that it took the company 5 days to actually ship them out (they'll be here tuesday), my dress came in 2 days ago, and I can't go for my first fitting without my boots.

To top it all off, I have a rogue bridesmaid. She recently became unreliable at work, dodges everyones calls & texts (because she thinks it'll be someone asking if she's going to be at work, or why she's not at work, or to yell at her about her excuses as to why she missed work). The girls have to order their dresses (rush cut) within the next week or two, and I don't think she has money for it (considering she's been unreliable with work & hard to contact). Plus my very best friend, who I asked to be a groomsman, had his life go in the crapper last week so now he doesn't even know if he'll be able to make it to the wedding (he lives down south), let alone afford to be in it.

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Dec 9, 2006

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IdeoPhanthus posted:

Is it going to be too much to handle making the bouquets (bridesmaids because they're simple/quick) the day before the wedding, and then getting up early the day of to set up for the reception?

That sounds like more stress than you need the day before. If you pick a long lasting flower, you might be able to do it several days in advance.

quote:

Edit: Also, what do you do after the "I do" & kiss if you're not doing a reciecving line (and the reception is elsewhere)? Most of the time I see that the bridesmaids/groomsmen walk out paired, but usually it's to a spot where the guests can hug/kiss them as they leave (and after that the wedding party does the formal pictures). I hate recieving lines, so where does the wedding party go when exiting down the aisle if we're skipping doing a recieving line? Do we just all exit down the aisle & walk straght to the spot where we'll be taking the formal pics?

At my wedding, the wedding party went to a cocktail reception and my husband and I went to a private room where we could just hold hands and giggle. Trust me when I say that taking 10 minutes or so just to be alone is a wonderful thing. Some couples get this alone time in the limo on the way to the reception. You can go to the reception site and do photos, and then everyone is announced into the reception by the DJ. Receiving lines are becoming less common. I never once photographed a wedding that had one and only saw one when my brother-in-law got married in Amsterdam.

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Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

I've fallen in love with this ring naked teens at school but I know the boyfriend would be happier with something bought from a brick and mortar store with a yearly cleaning and examination and such available. I wouldn't be against something similar, I just haven't seen anything like it for sale in person. Can anyone recommend some place?

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Aug 4, 2004

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IdeoPhanthus posted:


Edit: Also, what do you do after the "I do" & kiss if you're not doing a reciecving line (and the reception is elsewhere)? Most of the time I see that the bridesmaids/groomsmen walk out paired, but usually it's to a spot where the guests can hug/kiss them as they leave (and after that the wedding party does the formal pictures). I hate recieving lines, so where does the wedding party go when exiting down the aisle if we're skipping doing a recieving line? Do we just all exit down the aisle & walk straght to the spot where we'll be taking the formal pics?


At my friend's wedding, the bride & groom went to a small room to regroup for a minute while the wedding party handed out the birdseed to toss. Then the bride & groom did the whole "send off" running through the guests to the car waiting to take them to the reception. They didn't do a formal receiving line either, because everyone was going to be able to congratulate them at the reception.

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IdeoPhanthus
Oct 22, 2004



GoreJess posted:

At my friend's wedding, the bride & groom went to a small room to regroup for a minute while the wedding party handed out the birdseed to toss. Then the bride & groom did the whole "send off" running through the guests to the car waiting to take them to the reception. They didn't do a formal receiving line either, because everyone was going to be able to congratulate them at the reception.

That sounds nice and all, but what about the formal pictures of the wedding party together? Our ceremony is outdoors at my uncle's house. We're doing the group photos before we leave for the reception (between the end of the ceremony & the start of the reception). I've been to several weddings, but they all did recieving lines, so they exited down the aisle to a spot for the congrats, and then after all the guests exited/congratulated, the wedding party went back to the altar area for their formal photos. If we're not doing a recieving line, but instead we're going directly to the formal photos, what do we do...exit down the aisle & loop back to the altar?

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Dec 9, 2006

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IdeoPhanthus posted:

That sounds nice and all, but what about the formal pictures of the wedding party together? Our ceremony is outdoors at my uncle's house. We're doing the group photos before we leave for the reception (between the end of the ceremony & the start of the reception). I've been to several weddings, but they all did recieving lines, so they exited down the aisle to a spot for the congrats, and then after all the guests exited/congratulated, the wedding party went back to the altar area for their formal photos. If we're not doing a recieving line, but instead we're going directly to the formal photos, what do we do...exit down the aisle & loop back to the altar?

I strongly recommend that you do most of your photography beforehand. After the ceremony, everyone is going to want to celebrate, not stand around for 45 minutes taking pictures. If you don't want the bride and groom to see each other, just do the pictures with the bride (you), then go wait somewhere while the photos that involve the groom are taken. After the ceremony, walk down the aisle to a private room where you can be alone (trust me, this is very important and awesome) until the guests depart for the reception. Then the wedding party can finish taking posed shots in the ceremony location. I have never photographed a wedding where the posed shots were taken at the altar - my clients always preferred that they be taken someone on the ceremony grounds, and that the only photos at the altar be taken during the actual ceremony. However, you should take photos wherever you think it best.

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quepasa18
Oct 13, 2005


IdeoPhanthus posted:

That sounds nice and all, but what about the formal pictures of the wedding party together? Our ceremony is outdoors at my uncle's house. We're doing the group photos before we leave for the reception (between the end of the ceremony & the start of the reception). I've been to several weddings, but they all did recieving lines, so they exited down the aisle to a spot for the congrats, and then after all the guests exited/congratulated, the wedding party went back to the altar area for their formal photos. If we're not doing a recieving line, but instead we're going directly to the formal photos, what do we do...exit down the aisle & loop back to the altar?

I've seen people write on the program for the ceremony that there will be no receiving line, so the guests should proceed immediately to the reception location (or wherever they're going next). When I get married next month, we're going to do something like that. We only have a short period of time between the ceremony and the reception, so we need all the time for pictures. We'll have plenty of time to talk to people at the reception.

do what now posted:

I have never photographed a wedding where the posed shots were taken at the altar - my clients always preferred that they be taken someone on the ceremony grounds, and that the only photos at the altar be taken during the actual ceremony. However, you should take photos wherever you think it best.

I'm not a wedding photographer, so my experience with weddings is limited, but I've never been part of a wedding that DIDN'T have some posed pictures at the altar.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

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What is everyone's opinion of a big group photo of the whole bridal party, family and guests after the ceremony? I've seen some before and they really look neat. Is it hard to coordinate?

I don't think I want a receiving line. I understand the importance of thanking everyone who came, but I always feel awkward no matter how well I know the couple. The cocktail hour starts immediately after the ceremony and I figure we'll finish pictures during that time and make our entrance between cocktails and dinner. I think I might go around to each table after dinner to talk to people.

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Gravitee posted:

What is everyone's opinion of a big group photo of the whole bridal party, family and guests after the ceremony? I've seen some before and they really look neat. Is it hard to coordinate?

I don't think I want a receiving line. I understand the importance of thanking everyone who came, but I always feel awkward no matter how well I know the couple. The cocktail hour starts immediately after the ceremony and I figure we'll finish pictures during that time and make our entrance between cocktails and dinner. I think I might go around to each table after dinner to talk to people.

I've never done it as a photographer, and my wedding was too big to try, but that sounds like a neat idea. Another option is having the photographer do posed photos of each table of guests to include in your album. You can even have each table sign a paper matte frame to go around the photo.

Skip the receiving line. Seriously, it is a huge waste of time, time that could be spent celebrating. Plus you'll be tired (dresses are heavy, shoes uncomfortable, weddings tiring) and will wear yourself out before the party even begins.

My strategy as bride was that, during the reception, my husband and I visited every table. This way you can still greet everyone and say thank you, but you can do it 8-10 people at a time. It was also a useful strategy when it came to remembering names - I could forget some and no one would really know.

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Slo-Tek
Jun 8, 2001

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Gravitee posted:

What is everyone's opinion of a big group photo of the whole bridal party, family and guests after the ceremony? I've seen some before and they really look neat. Is it hard to coordinate?

I don't think I want a receiving line. I understand the importance of thanking everyone who came, but I always feel awkward no matter how well I know the couple. The cocktail hour starts immediately after the ceremony and I figure we'll finish pictures during that time and make our entrance between cocktails and dinner. I think I might go around to each table after dinner to talk to people.

The everybody photo is the only wedding photo hanging in our place. We didn't have a receiving line, but we did go down the aisle letting everybody out, and collecting hugs and kind words, and I think maybe the ushers caught people on the way out the door for the photo. It was practical and quick enough for the 80 or so people we had, and sitting down waiting for your turn is probably more comfortable and organized than waiting in the hallway to shake hands and kiss cheeks.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

Slo-Tek posted:

The everybody photo is the only wedding photo hanging in our place. We didn't have a receiving line, but we did go down the aisle letting everybody out, and collecting hugs and kind words, and I think maybe the ushers caught people on the way out the door for the photo. It was practical and quick enough for the 80 or so people we had, and sitting down waiting for your turn is probably more comfortable and organized than waiting in the hallway to shake hands and kiss cheeks.

I remember seeing the one at your place. I thought it was a cute photo! Do you have people on steps so you could get a good shot of everyone or did the photographer stand up on a ladder? I don't know of good steps around the 'log.

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Bean Trap
May 11, 2008

Set a trap with beans. Beans always get 'em.

I'm getting married in August. I'm a grad student and my fiance has a pretty decent job, so we're splitting costs with both sets of parents. Having said that, we didn't want anyone to go broke paying for this business, so we've been finding good ways to save money.

The venue: $750

We're saving a ton of money by getting married and having the reception at an art deco theatre in our hometown and by doing it on a Sunday. Rent for a Sunday is half of what it is on Saturday. Cash bar means we aren't paying for alcohol. The food is a bit pricey-our plan is $20/head and includes soft drinks and water, but we literally saved $800 there.

------------

Wardrobe:
The dress: $170
The shoes (dyed to match): $45
The alterations on said dress: $65
Tuxedo: (haven't picked one yet...)

I made the mistake of going to David's Bridal, aka My Personal Hell. Granted, I saw the dress online first, and I really love it, but if you don't make an appointment as THE BRIDE, they do not give a rat's rear end about you. I was afraid they'd try to talk me into a white gown (no thanks, Queen Victoria), so I just came in with my fiance one day. They completely ignored me, nothing was in my size, and the one sales clerk who did help me called me fat. That is-
Clerk: What size dress do you wear?
Bean Trap: Well, if the dress notorious big nude scene isn't vanity sized, I wear a size 4 or 6.
Clerk: Oh, honey, our dresses run SMALL.

Guess what, bitch? I bought a size 4 and had to have it taken in in the waist, bust, and hem. I could have done a size 2, apparently.

Customer service aside, they will surprise sex you on the alterations if you buy a "wedding dress." The dress I bought is a lovely champagne-colored strapless floor-length gown with gold ribbon 'round the middle and white detailing on the bust. Hint: I used to work for a dry-cleaner. If you want your gown cleaned and don't want to pay through the nose for it, don't get beads. It's very nice, and I can wear it again because it doesn't look like a traditional wedding gown. This dress is considered a "bridesmaid's dress," so my alterations' base cost was $35. I had the waist nipped, the hem raised, and the bust taken in, and that was $65. If you get a "wedding gown," the alterations begin at $65. I can understand this for tulle or challenging fabrics, but if my dress were a different color, I would have paid double.

David's Bridal does have decent prices on formal shoes--cheapest shoes are about $35; dyeing is $3. That's not a bad deal if you or your bridesmaids' need to match shoes to an odd-colored dress.

----
The cake: $285

My extended family is rather large, and so we needed a cake to feed at least 70 people. We went to Chef's Kitchen Cakery in Cincinnati. The chef is hilarious and very awesome; her cakes are delicious; she's got a great eye for style. We hadn't thought much about the cake, and she's talking to us and says, "You guys look like you're people who like clean lines and elegance." This is true. So we're having a three-layer cake: bottom is blueberry cake with raspberry jam; middle, almond cake with almond cream; top, vanilla with chocolate (for the boring people/allergic folks).

The price above is without delivery costs. If we move the cake ourselves, we save $80, although if the parents are too nervous to help, we may just pay up.

The chef also makes a double of the cake in case of emergencies for free. The extra cake becomes her samples if not used.

----

The photographer: ~$400

Our photographer graduated high school with me, and she does all the weddings of girls from our graduating class. She charges $100/hour, and extra for editing. We can edit the photos ourselves. She gives you a disk of all the photos and free use of them. I don't know if that's a great price, but I love her work and she's pretty awesome, so paying for quality and ease is great.

---
Invitations: Free

It pays to have artist friends who owe your fiance money for setting up their websites.

---
Decorations: Free

The theatre has boxes of decorations abandoned by other weddings and parties. You set it up, they'll clean it up and box it later.


----
Total: $1715 so far
This doesn't include the food for the reception (at $20/head, probably $1500 including linens and service...I hope). My parents are paying for it. His parents are paying for two nights in a nice hotel in Traverse Bay (we live in MI), and we'll be paying for two or three days camping or in a motel near Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes.

Likely total: under $4000, split between his parents, my parents, and us.

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Bean Trap
May 11, 2008

Set a trap with beans. Beans always get 'em.

Ben Davis posted:

I've fallen in love with this ring pokemon hentai porn may but I know the boyfriend would be happier with something bought from a brick and mortar store with a yearly cleaning and examination and such available. I wouldn't be against something similar, I just haven't seen anything like it for sale in person. Can anyone recommend some place?

Hello, fellow Michigan goon!

I tried on a ring just like that at Arcadian Antiques in Ann Arbor. farm sex with girls The one I tried was $900, which is already cheaper than that. (We ended up with an unusual "right-hand ring" from Zales for about $300, because I didn't want to spend all that money, but I did like that ring.)

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Aug 4, 2004

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IdeoPhanthus posted:

That sounds nice and all, but what about the formal pictures of the wedding party together? Our ceremony is outdoors at my uncle's house. We're doing the group photos before we leave for the reception (between the end of the ceremony & the start of the reception). I've been to several weddings, but they all did recieving lines, so they exited down the aisle to a spot for the congrats, and then after all the guests exited/congratulated, the wedding party went back to the altar area for their formal photos. If we're not doing a recieving line, but instead we're going directly to the formal photos, what do we do...exit down the aisle & loop back to the altar?

We did the group photos of all the girls & guys separately before the ceremony. After the ceremony & before the reception we did the entire wedding party shots, which took about 15 minutes. We didn't take any photos at the altar, because the bride & groom weren't formal people. Do you really want super formal posed pictures at the alter???

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sheri
Dec 30, 2002



Bean Trap posted:


The cake: $285

My extended family is rather large, and so we needed a cake to feed at least 70 people. We went to Chef's Kitchen Cakery in Cincinnati. The chef is hilarious and very awesome; her cakes are delicious; she's got a great eye for style. We hadn't thought much about the cake, and she's talking to us and says, "You guys look like you're people who like clean lines and elegance." This is true. So we're having a three-layer cake: bottom is blueberry cake with raspberry jam; middle, almond cake with almond cream; top, vanilla with chocolate (for the boring people/allergic folks).

The price above is without delivery costs. If we move the cake ourselves, we save $80, although if the parents are too nervous to help, we may just pay up.

The chef also makes a double of the cake in case of emergencies for free. The extra cake becomes her samples if not used.

I got married May 3, and apparently my first cake was dropped while they were setting it up at the reception site. Luckily they also had a backup, and everything was all peachy and pretty by the time anyone showed up.

We spent just under $14k, and that includes the honeymoon. The majority was on food/booze for the 150ish guests. My and my husband and my parents paid the majority of the costs, and no one went into any debt!

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I have taken photos at the altar for clients. They always look a little stiff. Generally people are a bit more relaxed outside and after the ceremony.

I like to do some of the formal stuff before the ceremony but alot of people are so keyed up by waiting it shows through in the photos.

Formal portraits can be easy and quick as long as you have a plan. Make a list of the people you absolutely have to have photos with and do them first. Starting with all the really big groups and slowly subtracting people until you get down to just the bride and groom.

Remember your photographer does not know your family. They can not be expected to know who Uncle Joe is and why he didn't make it in the family photo. Make a list and no body gets missed.

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Bean Trap
May 11, 2008

Set a trap with beans. Beans always get 'em.

ophiolite posted:

Another thing my Mom did for all of the "girls in my life" that helped out with the wedding was buy nice pendants on Ebay and bought nice chains to go with them. I know for a fact one of my friends wears it nearly everyday!

I'm completely for functionality and sentiment over price...

I found some really cute necklaces on etsy.com for my bridesmaids and groomswoman. They're very cute, individual, and I even bought one for myself (which they've complimented me on, so I think they'll be pleased).

stef_infection posted:

Also, NO bridesmaids/maid of honor and NO wedding shower! Sometimes I like being a weird homebody with few friends.

I love my bridesmaids, but never have I ever been so glad that we're scattered cross-country. I HATE wedding showers. There's something that screams, "Y'all should be jealous of me and my fiance and all our crap!" about it. (Unless you really do need all new stuff). And the games...ugh.

For the "bachelor/ette party," I think the whole wedding party is going out for a really good beer or something. I'm friends with all the groomsmen and -women, so I want to hang out with them, of course. Also, strippers are icky, male or female.

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Nov 3, 2006

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Bean Trap posted:

For the "bachelor/ette party," I think the whole wedding party is going out for a really good beer or something. I'm friends with all the groomsmen and -women, so I want to hang out with them, of course. Also, strippers are icky, male or female.

Whats funny about my bachelorette party is that its 99% boys and they all can't wait to get me drunk and buy me lapdances. As long as the stripper is cute, whatever, it'll be a ruckus night. I'd love to see my fiance getting a lapdance, he'd blush himself bloodless.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

Floss Finder

In a couple of other wedding forums I've visited, the bachelor party seems to be a point of contention among couples it seems. From indiebride:

quote:

Myself, I've ever so slowly come around to old school radical feminism. Porn and strippers are absolutely dealbreakers for me, assuming the Women Against Pornography definition of pornography vs. erotica. I'd far prefer he fell in love with someone else and carried on an affair than if he were to get off on commercialized sex. As I see it, it's essentially a consumer paying a slaveowner to surprise sex a sex worker, or documentation of such an exchange in the case of porn. Yes, I own my judgmental stand while making allowances for the fact that there can be exceptions. If you feel otherwise on the sex worker question, I'd really like to know your take on it.

I'm not really worried about the bachelor party, even though I know they are going to a strip club. Either I'm extremely naive or maybe I just trust my partner - I'm not worried about it. There is a subforum on indiebride almost entirely dedicated to the subject and I think most of them are overreacting.

For my bachelorette party we are going camping. No dick necklaces and tiaras for me.

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Gravitee posted:

In a couple of other wedding forums I've visited, the bachelor party seems to be a point of contention among couples it seems. From indiebride:


I'm not really worried about the bachelor party, even though I know they are going to a strip club. Either I'm extremely naive or maybe I just trust my partner - I'm not worried about it. There is a subforum on indiebride almost entirely dedicated to the subject and I think most of them are overreacting.

For my bachelorette party we are going camping. No dick necklaces and tiaras for me.

I had a coed bachelor/bachelorette party. My husband was THRILLED to watch me get a lap dance And the strippers were very nice, they thought it was awesome that my girl pals and I came along. I don't understand why it's such a big deal - my husband got a few lap dances without me. If you think strippers are inappropriate or immoral to begin with I could see disagreeing, but otherwise, trust is trust.

Edit: My sister INSISTED I drink through a dick-topped straw, but she was kind enough to make me a red veil with devil horns, so I obliged.

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Bean Trap
May 11, 2008

Set a trap with beans. Beans always get 'em.

do what now posted:

I had a coed bachelor/bachelorette party. My husband was THRILLED to watch me get a lap dance And the strippers were very nice, they thought it was awesome that my girl pals and I came along. I don't understand why it's such a big deal - my husband got a few lap dances without me. If you think strippers are inappropriate or immoral to begin with I could see disagreeing, but otherwise, trust is trust.

Edit: My sister INSISTED I drink through a dick-topped straw, but she was kind enough to make me a red veil with devil horns, so I obliged.

Oh, it's got nothing to do with trust or morality. Male strippers just flat-out scare me (I don't like that body type) and neither my fiance nor I finds female strippers attractive, either. Plus I think the few members of the wedding party/their S.O.'s who are kind of straight-laced would poo poo themselves.

I mean, if I'm going to be danced on, I'd want it to be a hot girl, but what passes as popular-hot and stripper-hot aren't my thing. Unless it were Natalie Portman ala big breasts and pussy Closer. Or Katee Sackhoff. Then I would reconsider.

I'm buying one of my bridesmaids a light-up cock headband, because she would totally wear it.

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Mar 22, 2003

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The absolute BEST bridesmaid gift I got was at my sister's wedding. They got a block of rooms and paid for the wedding party to stay at the hotel after the reception. I know it's rather pricey and not for everyone, but goddamn I was happy to have a nice room after the wedding. Any personalized trinket would be at the bottom of a box somewhere, anyway (that's just me, I know not everyone feels that way). The room still makes me happy several years later.

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Skutter
Apr 7, 2007

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jcschick posted:

Sorry to bump but need help. With regards to announcements/invitations: Is it tacky to send out announcements to people who aren't invited to the wedding?

You should send the announcements out after the wedding. Otherwise it will look like you're asking for a gift, but not even bothering to invite them to the wedding. You could even choose a nice picture of you and the groom and have some small copies made up at Walgreens or somewhere similar and include them with some/all of the announcements.

My wedding plans are going pretty well (yay running away to Vegas!). We have the hotel and tickets booked, suit, dress and rings bought and people invited. Now we just have to find someone not going to watch our pets for week. On a sidenote: Has anyone had any last-minute things happen/forget anything on a destination wedding? I'm already worrying about that kind of stuff, and it's still 8 months away.

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Bean Trap
May 11, 2008

Set a trap with beans. Beans always get 'em.

Skutter posted:

You should send the announcements out after the wedding. Otherwise it will look like you're asking for a gift, but not even bothering to invite them to the wedding. You could even choose a nice picture of you and the groom and have some small copies made up at Walgreens or somewhere similar and include them with some/all of the announcements.

Especially if you don't want them showing up as a surprise.

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no shoes
Jun 3, 2007
degenerate

My girlfriend and I are getting married (well, civil-unionized or whatever it is that two ladies can do in Oregon) and while the planning is going fairly well, I'm a little insecure that we're behind schedule and somewhat clueless about how to get this all done. The date of the wedding is August 24th. We have a fair amount done and a lot to do.

Ceremony: We rented a rose garden in our town for under a hundred dollars, with 50 chairs included (40-50 is our target guest amount). We may need some other decorative items reserved, and we need to figure out music. We also only get the space for three hours, so we need to get it set up and taken down very quickly the day of the wedding. Our brothers and sisters (the bridal party) have said that they will be the setup/takedown committee, so that's good.

Reception: A little bed and breakfast. The space rental is $400, which includes the staff, the decorations setup, all that good stuff. Per-head price for food will probably be between 20-30, and who knows what the booze cost will be.

Dresses: We're trying to go casual. I love this dress: paying men for sex

Rings: Haven't gotten them yet. We have very different tastes. I love the tradional wedding band and lean toward what I guess are simpler, more masculine designs, while she likes gemstones and dimonds and fancy stuff.

Guestlist: We had some trouble figuring out what relatives to invite, but eventually figured that we could just invite them all and see what happened. The main problem is this: her parents might not come. They're all the way across the country, her mom has a medical condition as well as anxiety issues... it's tough. My girlfriend was initially not sure she wanted to do it at all if they couldn't make it, but we've decided that we're going go for it and hope real hard that maybe when they start to see our plans come together one or both of them will be able to make it.

We made the invitations ourselves with a kit we bought at the craft store. Very slick and we saved hundreds of dollars.

So far, the one extravegant thing that I want for this wedding is a limo to take us to the airport for our as of yet unscheduled honeymoon. I've never been in a limo. I bet it's awesome.

So, if anyone has any advise on getting worried parent travelers to make the trip, what sort of music to do in an outside venue, or anything else, we welcome it! More than anything I feel like planning a wedding is real hard, but most likely very worth it.

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BizarroBrian
Jan 7, 2004

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crack-pot.

So I was looking at rings online with my girlfriend this morning and we stumbled across glass dildo in pussy that she absolutely fell in love with. I can't really find any new rings that are the same style. I would need to get the ring resized and I was hoping that after a fresh cleaning/dip it would look fantastic. I'm a little hesitant due to the lack of a hallmark...mostly because I'm not sure how much that matters or not. Does anyone have any experience about buying jewelry on eBay? Does this ring even look like a good deal?

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Ekplixi
Jul 18, 2006


My fiance and I are having a courthouse wedding in two weeks due to some outside factors (but it is what we want, so no worries). Any tips on making the day special? I want to wear a real wedding gown, although the one I picked is pretty low-key.

Also, does anyone know if the court will let you change your first name on your marriage lisence? I am in the process of changing my first name but this would make everything so much easier. I hate my birth name and taking my husband's last name would mean having one of the most common names in the country - but I definitely want to change it.

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Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

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Ekplixi posted:

My fiance and I are having a courthouse wedding in two weeks due to some outside factors (but it is what we want, so no worries). Any tips on making the day special? I want to wear a real wedding gown, although the one I picked is pretty low-key.

Also, does anyone know if the court will let you change your first name on your marriage lisence? I am in the process of changing my first name but this would make everything so much easier. I hate my birth name and taking my husband's last name would mean having one of the most common names in the country - but I definitely want to change it.

Have a nice bouquet. That's always something special, something you don't buy everyday.

As far as name changes, the rules on that vary from state to state.

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AlKo
Jul 27, 2007
Real Man of Genius (r)

Just chiming in like I usually do in these threads, if anybody is looking for a quality wedding ring and wants to save more then a couple of thousand dollars, let me know. I can get you anything from Diamonds to Tanzanite to Paraiba.

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yumemiru
Sep 1, 2006
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Ekplixi posted:

My fiance and I are having a courthouse wedding in two weeks due to some outside factors (but it is what we want, so no worries). Any tips on making the day special? I want to wear a real wedding gown, although the one I picked is pretty low-key.


Well this sounds like what I would like to do.I think it would be nice to maybe rent a nice car, drive to the courthouse and maybe stay at a really nice bed and breakfast or inn, or a cabin in the woods. You could also go to a spa and spend a weekend being low key together and possibly saying horribly romantic things, just not in front of a bunch of people.
Here is a thread on indiebride that was pretty inspirational, and it just looks incredibly romantic and best of all, private!

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I recommend the "Weddings we loved" section there because it has a million different types of weddings, from the traditional to the courthouse to the pirate themed.

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Jan 23, 2007
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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

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Congratulations!

I had a general 2 month window I wanted and I picked the date based on the availability of the ceremony/reception location.

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CalamityKate
Dec 4, 2004



We had been talking about maybe a late January wedding, but traveling to Chicago would suck rear end for a lot of people during winter. So, we're aiming for 3/14. Yes, Pi Day.

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mungtor
May 3, 2005

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Just chiming in to add home amateur porn movies as a pretty amazing place to get rings. They're not cheap, but they are unique. My wife's engagement ring is the diamond in a platinum cup design on the front page.

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Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

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goatse guy posted:

My boyfriend asked me to marry him on Monday, so now the fun begins! We've got a pretty good idea of what we want to do, we just don't know when we should do it. How did you guys decide on your wedding date?

I picked my date pretty quickly, by using the following factors:

1. My bat mitzvah was very nearly canceled thanks to a blizzard. I was not going through that nightmare again, so November-February was out. Given how much it snows in your area, this is something to think about.

2. Spring & Summer are wedding season. Location rentals can go up in price because of that, so early spring was a good choice to save some money.

3. Early Spring was preferable to Early Summer because it's cooler, and wedding dresses are heavy.

4. I had a specific rabbi I wanted to marry me and a specific wedding planner as well, so I had to accommodate their schedules. Obviously, if you don't have a wedding planner and officiant in mind, this won't be an issue.

5. I was impatient. I waited 8 years to get engaged, I was not interested in a long engagement.

Ultimately, the wedding was scheduled in early May, 10 months after we got engaged. Any less would have been too little time, but if you aren't planning a super-traditional (and large and expensive) wedding, time is less of an issue.

Congrats by the way!

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Lady googooGaGa
Nov 3, 2006

Are you freaking kidding me!?

Posting to bicker about how much finding a nice hall that does catering sucks so very much.

The hall I originally wanted is booked for my date. I am so bummed out because its a huge ballroom with a stage, huge seating area, dancefloor, and bar. Its only $14.95 a head for the served dinner, basic but universally good food (chicken and beef dishes), and then $12.95 a head for beer, wine, coffee and soda bar, and they'd let us do a cash liquor bar. Some people think cash liquor bar is tacky, but I don't see the point in paying for 200 people to drink liquor when maybe 30 of them will actually do it. So now I have the choice of changing my date (and really April 18th is the only Saturday that will work, and considering our wedding is in Vegas on the 14th, I don't want to have to rush back), or finding somewhere else. I've found two places that let you hire your own catering, but they're both kind of small and like I mentioned my guest list is already at 200.

We looked into this one resort near us, but they want $85.00 a person before tax and a 19% gratuity (EVERYWHERE else is 18%). Thats their minimum package, and the minimum number is 125 people. They have packages going up to $110 a head. Thats just silly to me, to spend upwards of 15 grand on one day.

I'm just amazingly frustrated at this point. My dad is paying for the reception, but he makes less than I do in a year and he has my 10 year old stepsister. Asking him to drop around a quarter of his annual salary is just not in my cards. I couldn't enjoy it knowing I did that.

Edit:

How we decided our date: Our birthdays are on June 14th and August 14th. Valentine's Day is Feb 14th. So it will go V-day --two months-- wedding anniversary -2 months- his birthday -2 months- my birthday. Now if I could only time pregnancy to the day....

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Skutter
Apr 7, 2007

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For those of you who had a destination wedding: Did you also have a bridal shower? Is it considered tacky to invite people to the shower that aren't coming to the wedding (they're not coming not because I didn't invite them, but because it's a destination wedding and not everyone can go)? Also, has anyone ever done a co-ed shower? I've heard of co-ed baby showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties, but not bridal showers. Lastly, how do I make my shower not suck?

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Lady googooGaGa
Nov 3, 2006

Are you freaking kidding me!?

Skutter posted:

For those of you who had a destination wedding: Did you also have a bridal shower? Is it considered tacky to invite people to the shower that aren't coming to the wedding (they're not coming not because I didn't invite them, but because it's a destination wedding and not everyone can go)? Also, has anyone ever done a co-ed shower? I've heard of co-ed baby showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties, but not bridal showers. Lastly, how do I make my shower not suck?

My MOH is throwing me one. I'm under the impression that the MOH is supposed to do it in tandem with your mom or other important ladies in your life. I've never heard of someone throwing their own.

On doing with a destination wedding, we are. Its not co-ed, but since we got a discounted hotel rate for the people who are traveling we just put a note on the save the date cards that we are sending out that if they want to join us they can and to contact us. I'm sure there will be people there not going to Vegas, but they will most likely come to the reception.

I've heard of 'wedding showers' which are for the couple instead of just the bride, but again, I've never been to one.

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Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!

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I went to a coed shower last year and it wasn't too bad. The guys just watched tv and played video games while the girls played party games (gag) and talked. After a while, they came back upstairs and we watched them open presents together. The rest of the party was basically a BBQ where we grilled and played horseshoes.

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Sep 11, 2001

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