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Ringlet_Bob
Nov 6, 2004

Baaa

I have what feels like a bit of a silly question, but how did you plan the date? Between parents, friends, venue availability, etc. I'm not quite sure where to start. I want the announcement to be a surprise (i.e. hey guys we're getting married on 14th Aug next year - get planning, not, hey we're getting married tomorrow), since my boyfriend and I have been together for years and have been getting stick about when we're getting married for most of those!

We are planning an hotel as we have people coming from several different countries. I think we will pay for our parents and bridesmaid/best man, but everyone else will pay for themselves - we've attended several weddings like this recently too and I think its quite acceptable for our group of friends and relatives.

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Ringlet_Bob
Nov 6, 2004

Baaa

Bizarro Toby posted:

You'll never make everyone happy, so start with what works for you. I will tell you that venues book for summer weddings first (I used to work at a museum). Also, never, ever plan a holiday weekend wedding. Several of our friends have done this and it does nothing but ruin plans, plus hotel rates and everything else goes up.

Yeah, that's what I figured. I just wondered if we were missing a trick. We've got dates in mind and I guess we'll let the parents in on the plan, do some provisional booking of venue, etc. and then let everyone know.

Had the registrar on the phone this morning to check out the admin stuff - my first actual action towards our marriage

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Ringlet_Bob
Nov 6, 2004

Baaa

chachu posted:

And I also think that people think there is a difference between, "Here is a nice set of martini glasses," and, "Here is 25 bucks," even though it's the same amount of cash. I don't think there is one, but I understand that the gift might seem less... significant, I guess.

I agree, particularly since many people live together before marrying these days so you don't need all that much house stuff.

Over here (Europe) it seems quite normal to ask for money, though it mostly seems to take the form of honeymoon contributions. The couple set up an account with a tour operator and you call and tell then how much you want to put in and charge it to VISA.

We intend to do as you are and will probably let it be known that for those who don't want to buy gifts that there will be a pot for "first home" contributions at the reception. We'll set up a piggybank in the shape of a house for them to put cheques and cash into. We will set up a really limited gift list and hope that
people will get the idea.

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