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Bag Of Ghosts
Jan 17, 2008

Who needs a TEC-9
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Ghidzilla posted:

What about a least favorite short story? Anyone have one?

Of the ones I've read of his, I think I hated Jerusalem's Lot, from his Night Shift collection. Very disjointed and very hard to read, very dissapointing as I was expecting vampires and got a giant earthworm instead.

"The Cat From Hell" from yugioh gx alexis naked Just After Sunset. This is a story about a hitman who is hired by a rich dude to kill his demon-possessed cat. The hitman puts the cat in a bag (this is the stupidest thing) and drives out to the river in order to drown the cat. But the cat claws its way out of the bag and kills the hitman by burrowing down his throat. The End.

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Ballsworthy
Apr 30, 2008

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Ghidzilla posted:

What about a least favorite short story? Anyone have one?

Of the ones I've read of his, I think I hated Jerusalem's Lot, from his Night Shift collection. Very disjointed and very hard to read, very dissapointing as I was expecting vampires and got a giant earthworm instead.

Not my least favorite favorite, because there are some things I kinda like about it, but Crouch End pisses me off a bit. Plenty of people have written Cthulhu-mythos stuff that I enjoyed, but Crouch End feels like one of those 90s jazz-hop tunes where the lyrics are basically a long list of dead jazz musicians. Also seems like there's a certain amount of "Look how much I know about London!" going on.

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Feb 29, 2008

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Bag Of Ghosts posted:

"The Cat From Hell" from zoo sex video free Just After Sunset. This is a story about a hitman who is hired by a rich dude to kill his demon-possessed cat. The hitman puts the cat in a bag (this is the stupidest thing) and drives out to the river in order to drown the cat. But the cat claws its way out of the bag and kills the hitman by burrowing down his throat. The End.

It was amazing in eva mendes sex scen Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, featuring Buster Poindexter.

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muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Another Just After Sunset clunker is the one about the guy who's a mystery writer and he becomes some kind of ultimate bad-rear end like his pseudonym when he finds a guy beating up his girlfriend at a public restroom. It was basically The Dark Half redux.

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Victorkm
Nov 25, 2001



Ballsworthy posted:

The worst poo poo is that story about the loving cymbal-banging monkey. I swear to god that guy used to just go to antique shops, look around and say to himself, "Hmmm, what hasn't been haunted yet?" The moment he realized that the only thing left was the shop itself blew his loving mind.

And then he went and wrote Needful Things.

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Bag Of Ghosts
Jan 17, 2008

Who needs a TEC-9
When you can fold space-time
I lace rhymes with math
Like sine and cosine


muscles like this? posted:

Another Just After Sunset clunker is the one about the guy who's a mystery writer and he becomes some kind of ultimate bad-rear end like his pseudonym when he finds a guy beating up his girlfriend at a public restroom. It was basically The Dark Half redux.

Basically I dislike most of lesbian fun at gym Just After Sunset. Stephen King admits that he wrote a lot of the stories in that collection during his craaaaaazy 20s, a time when he was "flying by the seat of [his] pants" (this is taken from the introduction) and just writing like crazy but not really caring about fancy-schmancy writer techniques like "revision." And it shows. These stories don't really lead anywhere and the characters in them bore me.

That said, the one where the dude has to escape a Port-O-Potty owns.

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Apr 7, 2009





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I always have, and will continue to, posit that the movie adaptation of lloyd banks new pussy The Lawnmower Man was kickass and Stephen King should have pretended that was what he actually wrote.

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Speckylicious
Feb 29, 2008

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Desperation was it for me, I just could not get into it. Blech.

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Mar 24, 2007

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Speckylicious posted:

Desperation was it for me, I just could not get into it. Blech.

Desperation was bad, but Cell was atrocious.

From a Buick 8 is a close runner up.

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Feb 29, 2008

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I've always kind of liked 4 on 1 porn The Regulators. It was fairly stupid, but odd enough to like. I've never been able to finish phat wet booty porn Desperation.

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Mar 11, 2001

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Shnooks posted:

Desperation was bad, but Cell was atrocious.

From a Buick 8 is a close runner up.

I haven't read it since I was a teenager but I remember Desperation being decent. The scenes with the big cop were cool at least.

Yesterday I didn't feel like getting out of bed so I read Cell. The first chapter detailing the initial wave of the disaster was actually quite good and made me want to continue reading. Unfortunately whoever it was that noted Cell's unique status as a book wherein every chapter is worse than the one before it was absolutely correct. The novel started almost as strongly as The Stand and ended up being another magical retard extravaganza.

Between Cell and "From a Buick 8" I think I have finally found the heart to tell my mother that I don't read King anymore so she stops giving his novels to me.

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"Meh" was pretty much my reaction for every story in Just After Sunset, with the exceptions of N. and A Very Tight Place. The rest are just very boring and it felt like King was forcing himself to write free older lesbian porn something.

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Hogarth Hughes
Apr 16, 2006

"As for me, people will be pleased to escape from me in one piece."



free lesbian porn sights The Dark Half is a goddamned terrible book. I was also sorely disappointed with how the Dark Tower ended up, since I'd waited ~12 years between Wizard and Glass (which I really like a lot) and Wolves of the Calla, and the end was so much weaker than the beginning. The Gunslinger graphic novels have been great though.

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Jan 15, 2007

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Has anyone said The Breathing Method yet? It's not a novel but still, it's so bad I think it should be mentioned. It just seems like there's no point at all for the story. The ending mostly, it's so bad. At least to me. I got so upset I read the whole thing because I thought there was going to be a big surprise at the end, but it's just, 'meh'.

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Ghidzilla
May 12, 2009


Has anyone read 'The Plant'? The idea of a vampire plant is appealing, but I imagine King hosed it up somehow.

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AN ANGRY MOTHER posted:

Oh poo poo I forgot about that part, I was thinking of when Roland saw a plane in the sky and thought something like "I hope no one decides to run those into something".

I'm pretty sure that line showed up in Drawing of The Three or Waste Lands, easily predating 9/11.

Bag Of Ghosts posted:

"The Cat From Hell" from anime tentacle porn videos Just After Sunset. This is a story about a hitman who is hired by a rich dude to kill his demon-possessed cat. The hitman puts the cat in a bag (this is the stupidest thing) and drives out to the river in order to drown the cat. But the cat claws its way out of the bag and kills the hitman by burrowing down his throat. The End.

If I remember correctly, The Cat from Hell was originally a men's magazine contest where King wrote the first 500 words and other people were invited to write endings. The version in JAS has the ending he whipped up in a few hours to see how it would play out, the winner of the contest supposedly wrote a much better one.

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fishmech posted:

I'm pretty sure that line showed up in Drawing of The Three or Waste Lands, easily predating 9/11.

The Running Man easily predates 9/11, too, since we're talking about planes crashing into buildings.

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Jul 27, 2001

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Ghidzilla posted:

Has anyone read 'The Plant'? The idea of a vampire plant is appealing, but I imagine King hosed it up somehow.
Didn't King *never finish this*? When I last saw any mention of this book years ago, he didn't get enough people to donate money for more chapters so he just stopped writing it, screwing everyone who did donate in the process.

It's good that you jogged my memory on that because, if true, it's really gotta qualify for the title just by virtue of being such a hilarious trainwreck.

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Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

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Adar posted:

Didn't King *never finish this*? When I last saw any mention of this book years ago, he didn't get enough people to donate money for more chapters so he just stopped writing it, screwing everyone who did donate in the process.

It's good that you jogged my memory on that because, if true, it's really gotta qualify for the title just by virtue of being such a hilarious trainwreck.

I just looked it up since it sounded too pathetic to be true, but it is. He hasn't touched it since 2001.

It feels wrong to say this about an author I loved as a child but goddamn King is a horrible person big black lesbian women and terrible (When he's not coked up) author. I'm still holding onto the hope that he'll relapse back to drug-fueled crazytown and start writing interesting novels again.

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Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008



Wheeee posted:

I just looked it up since it sounded too pathetic to be true, but it is. He hasn't touched it since 2001.

It feels wrong to say this about an author I loved as a child but goddamn King is a horrible person sexy nude teenage girls and terrible (When he's not coked up) author. I'm still holding onto the hope that he'll relapse back to drug-fueled crazytown and start writing interesting novels again.

Reading up on it on Wikipedia, I love how he basically started it so he could get around having to write Christmas cards for a couple years.

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May 22, 2007

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I really liked Just After Sunset; I thought the only really terrible stories were The Gingerbread Girl, N., Ayana, Rest Stop, and Stationary Bike.

As far as his worst short story, I'm gonna go with The Bogeyman. That was some seriously retarded 11th-grade level plot bullshit.

Edit: some of my favorites are The Man In The Black Suit and You Know They've Got A Hell Of A Band.

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Feb 29, 2008

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Stentorian Longing posted:

As far as his worst short story, I'm gonna go with The Bogeyman. That was some seriously retarded 11th-grade level plot bullshit.

Edit: some of my favorites are The Man In The Black Suit and You Know They've Got A Hell Of A Band.

I liked The Bogeyman. It wasn't great, but it was short enough to work without having to be all that thrilling. "You Know They've Got a Hell of a Band," "Umney's Last Case," and "The End of the Whole Mess" are my favorite short stories of his.

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May 22, 2007

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egon_beeblebrox posted:

I liked The Bogeyman. It wasn't great, but it was short enough to work without having to be all that thrilling. "You Know They've Got a Hell of a Band," "Umney's Last Case," and "The End of the Whole Mess" are my favorite short stories of his.

Well the thing with The Bogeyman is that I read it first when I was like 8 years old and it scared the living poo poo out of me. When I revisited it a few years ago I couldn't believe how it ended - because when I was younger what happened mature wife porn movies to the son scared me so bad I didn't keep reading. I dunno, it just seemed like a really random ending, kinda deus ex machina.

I haven't read Umney's Last Case, but I think he's at his weakest when trying to write in someone else's style. Same thing with N and Crouch End - he just can't do Lovecraftian-style horror, and I wish he wouldn't attempt it. The End Of The Whole Mess was great though. I'm also fond of Battleground and The Road Virus Heads North. I really need to watch the Nightmares and Dreamscapes miniseries thing that was on TV...

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Quad
Dec 31, 2007

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 GOTO 10
END

Stentorian Longing posted:

Well the thing with The Bogeyman is that I read it first when I was like 8 years old and it scared the living poo poo out of me. When I revisited it a few years ago I couldn't believe how it ended - because when I was younger what happened veronika zemanova lesbian video to the son scared me so bad I didn't keep reading. I dunno, it just seemed like a really random ending, kinda deus ex machina.

Oh Jesus.. the first time I heard that story was when I HEARD that story, with King doing his own audiobook reading of it. King's creepy loving voice really put the monster in my head, and yeah, I was like 9. Combine that with a pre-existing fear of the dark and especially my closet... That was terrible. I still have my closet door closed at all times.

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Mar 9, 2009

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I'm surprised that so many people dislike From a Buick 8 so much. I always thought that underneath the usual horror, it was an interesting look at how our perceptions change as we grow up. I also thought that some of the prose was extremely tender.

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QuentinCompson
Mar 11, 2009


Huh, I always liked "Crouch End." I don't think it was a very good approximation of Lovecraft's writing style, but I think he was writing it as a Lovecraft style story in his own writing more than a riff on Lovecraft's writing style.

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Ortsacras
Feb 11, 2008
12/17/00 Never Forget

Quad posted:

I still have my closet door closed at all times.

Me too, based entirely on that story (though to be fair, I'm pretty sure I didn't like my closet open at night before that story; the fact that I STILL don't, 20 years later, is entirely due to the story). The horror-movie twist ending is one thing, and yeah, that's kind of stupid, but the rest of the story is just terrifying. My favorite (well, you know) image is the one he relates free asain porn sites that he was sleeping, woke up without opening his eyes, and could feel the thing standing over him breathing in his face. That's just plain scary..

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Nov 12, 2004

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Wheeee posted:


Yesterday I didn't feel like getting out of bed so I read Cell. The first chapter detailing the initial wave of the disaster was actually quite good and made me want to continue reading. Unfortunately whoever it was that noted Cell's unique status as a book wherein every chapter is worse than the one before it was absolutely correct. The novel started almost as strongly as The Stand and ended up being another magical retard extravaganza.


Seriously to the other folks thinking about reading Cell, read up until they leave the boy's school and then quit and make up your own ending.

Up to then, it's pretty drat good. Think of the events at the school as a jumping off point for you to make up your OWN story!

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Odintuho
May 27, 2009


I'd have to go with either Bag of Bones or Dreamcatcher. Both were choke full of deus-ex-machina moments that completely destroyed their flow. I mean somehow the characters just always know what is the right thing to do and how they should act.

That being said, I enjoyed the dark tower immensely, even though it has these same problems.

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I am OK posted:

I'm surprised that so many people dislike From a Buick 8 so much. I always thought that underneath the usual horror, it was an interesting look at how our perceptions change as we grow up. I also thought that some of the prose was extremely tender.

I also liked it despite the HAUNTED CAR crap.

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Bag Of Ghosts posted:

"The Cat From Hell" from naked mario and peach Just After Sunset. This is a story about a hitman who is hired by a rich dude to kill his demon-possessed cat. The hitman puts the cat in a bag (this is the stupidest thing) and drives out to the river in order to drown the cat. But the cat claws its way out of the bag and kills the hitman by burrowing down his throat. The End.

Seconding this as one of his worst short stories.

edit: god drat it I missed the edit button again

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Jul 11, 2001

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Bag Of Ghosts posted:

It's not a novel, but has anyone here read "Ur?" It's Stephen King's Kindle-exclusive short story. It was written to help promote the Kindle.

It is about a professor who receives a haunted Kindle in the mail. For those who didn't hear me: IT IS ABOUT A PROFESSOR WHO RECEIVES A HAUNTED KINDLE IN THE MAIL. And it is ten kinds of terrible. The characters literally have conversations about the Kindle's features and praise it endlessly.

I loved sex with the kids Misery and kinda enjoyed sex stories by female The Shining but ho my God in heaven this story . . . it is the Worst Thing. Stephen King, buddy, I love and respect you, but you are a sellout.
Haha, I think I'm going to get this since I just got an amazon gift card and a kindle, so why not, it's cheap! I read the sample and it was just terrible so I skipped it but I think I'm gonna power through it for some light trash reading.

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Victorkm
Nov 25, 2001



Outside of all the kindle fellatio, it was a decent story

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Ghidzilla
May 12, 2009


From a Buick 8 was about a haunted car? Is this Christine the sequel?

Because I enjoyed Christine but I tried reading this and couldn't get past page four. God awful writing that put me to sleep.

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QuentinCompson
Mar 11, 2009


How could Christine be the sequel to a book written almost 2 decades later?

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Ortsacras
Feb 11, 2008
12/17/00 Never Forget

QuentinCompson posted:

How could Christine be the sequel to a book written almost 2 decades later?

Reads a little better with the addition of some quotation marks and a comma, without changing any of the words:

quote:

From a Buick 8 was about a haunted car? Is this "Christine, the sequel?"

Anyway, no, because a) it's not "haunted," and b) torrie wilson nude free it's not really a "car."

I liked From a Buick 8 a sexo porno gratis xxx lot (and a lot more than I expected to), but it's not one of those books with a James Bond villain moment where the entire history and motivation of the Buick are explained to us while the hero slowly uses a piece of glass he pulled from his injured hand to saw through the ropes binding him. If you're not satisfied with not knowing the answer to the mystery, you won't like this story.

It's a story where some weird poo poo (some hot lesbian massage videos really weird poo poo) happens, people learn to deal with it, and emotional progress is made.

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Oct 23, 2002



Metonymy posted:

Haha. Fair enough. But that doesn't change the fact that his forced folksiness and neologisms feel awkward. Whether it's cockadoodie or howken, it feels like it olsen twins sex stories darkles or lesbian sex stories videos tincts, and it's so grating that it takes me out of the story. Which is ironic, because I think the vocabulary is supposed to make me feel like it's a well-developed world.

I'm a bit late here, but you do know that "darkle" and "tinct" are real words, right?

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...of SCIENCE!
Apr 26, 2008

43 species of parrot?! Nipples for men?! SLUGS?! Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?! If I were creating the world I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, 8 o'clock, day one!


DrRimbaud posted:

"I don't take notes; I don't outline, I don't do anything like that. I just flail away at the goddamn thing. I'm a salami writer. I try to write good salami, but salami is salami. You can't sell it as caviar." - Stephen King

I have never really been engrossed by or attached to anything I've encountered by him, but I respect the poo poo out of him for understanding/acknowledging/being comfortable with what he does and does not do.

Yeah, it's been said before but reading On Writing is really revealing in that it shows that King's greatest criticism (stories that start off strong but go on way too long and have disappointing endings) is a result of him not planning things out anymore. I imagine back when he wasn't so famous/best-selling that he was actually worried about a story not being published he went to a little more effort planning things out, hence why his older books don't have the problem as much.

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Proffessor Rapeface posted:

Yeah, it's been said before but reading On Writing is really revealing in that it shows that King's greatest criticism (stories that start off strong but go on way too long and have disappointing endings) is a result of him not planning things out anymore. I imagine back when he wasn't so famous/best-selling that he was actually worried about a story not being published he went to a little more effort planning things out, hence why his older books don't have the problem as much.

He never really planned things out. In On Writing he said the only book he actually planned out was Insomnia.

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Hogarth Hughes posted:

sex kitten simdate 4 The Dark Half is a goddamned terrible book.

gently caress you! I just read through 5 pages to make sure that I could be the first to post this book! But christ is that book horrible. It just drags on and on with out any real sense of suspense or intrigue. And when it's all done you just feel so dissapointed by the anti-climatic ending.

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