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signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008


Sounds like confabulation to me, but I am not a doctor, and you should probably see a psychiatrist or something. Confabulation can be a symptom of physical poo poo. Go ask a doctor.

In case you forget, go ask a doctor.

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Astrofig
Oct 26, 2009


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Saying something out loud seems to help cement it into memory. Whenever I put gas in my car I always say out loud, "I'm putting the cap back on," so when I get back in the driver's seat I don't have to get out and check because I have no memory of whether or not I put the stupid cap back on.

My grandpa taught me this dumb little trick for remembering where you left things: You say to it, 'okay, *thing*, you stay right here and wait for me *location you left it*' Then when you're trying to find the thing you'll remember where you told it to stay.

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May 25, 2008

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My account is 3000 in minus because I got two tickets in the busses and metro 50 yards and 5 minutes apart (I forgot to put money on the stupid metro card we have here), and because I didn't get my student loan because the robot at the administration accidentally flagged me as someone who shouldn't receive it, and they'll send it next thursday. However, since my bills are paid automatically, I now have to get around with -3000 crowns (450 USD or so), I've fallen sick, my relationship is under pressure, and I have four exams to prepare for.

I feel as if though my girlfriend always knows the right thing to say, while I flounder. I'm a smart guy, but I grew up with alcoholic parents and don't always know how the language of caring for others. Often she just wants me to ask her how she's doing, and I'll segue off into something else or get frustrated because she feels bad. I don't believe in passing the blame, but it just feels like my upbringing broke me because the untreated ADHD/Assburger

What did you do to improve your relationship communication/executive skills? The autists I know have excellent control over it and have found spouses that are extremely chill and supportive, and that doesn't seem to be an option.

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BoneMonkey
Jul 25, 2008

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Well the only thing you can work on is you. So you have to work out what behaviours you are enacting that give you less good results. And work out what behaviours you could enact that would get you more desirable results. And then work out a plan with how to deal with your emotions and get you to those pro behaviours. Which is super hard. And honestly, while it sounds bad, dealing with girlfriend emotions is boring as poo poo. Its like the washing up, has to be done, and you do love her. But its hard for us, because of the new shiny whatever. The other thing is, that we often attract people like us. My wife used to blame me for a lot of stuff, and I used to think she was right because I was a gently caress up. Then I got meds and got my poo poo together, but the blame never stopped. Then we realised that she had her own issues (anxiety) and were able to deal with that. But now I know, before that no matter what I did, or no matter how much attention I gave her, it was never going to be enough. So it might not be just you. (Or it might be)

It sounds like you are feeling a bit overwhelmed. And that's fine, there is a lot going on. A thing that helps me when I feel a little overwhelmed, is thinking time forever marches on. All of this bullshit will be dealt with in a week or three, one way or the other. And if its not dealt with in the best possible way then that's a bridge I will cross when I come to it.

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May 25, 2008

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Thanks, that actually helps a lot

She has her own load to carry (she can't find a job because our national economy is wonky, in spite of being a teacher and having just completed a candidate's degree in IT, and has become depressed as a result), but even though I like to think I know how to manage these things in a relationship (don't try to fix your partner, get help, keep cool), I feel like she's trying to drag me down when we've had a rough patch, and I'm not sure if it's my craziness or hers that is to blame.

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BoneMonkey
Jul 25, 2008

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I can't speak for you. But for me and my wife, it was a little from column A and a little from column B. And honestly it was never awful, but now we both are sorting our poo poo, its pretty good.

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Geisladisk
Sep 14, 2007



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but now we both are sorting our poo poo, its pretty good.

I read that as "snorting our poo poo", thought, "what the gently caress, that is terrible advice", and had to do a double take.

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May 25, 2008

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LOL

As a friend told me back when I was cracking and snorting my pills: "If you're sniffing your medication, you're on the wrong one", and boy was he right.

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7 years ago, my dude, I'm clean today.

It's really annoying to have ADHD and not get help from stimulants, though, my drug use really soared at that point.

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Jul 25, 2008

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Up until now I was a little bummed that I didn't get my diagnosis until I was 30.

Now I'm not because I was totally stupid enough to do that back then.

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