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Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

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meme posted:

I'm sad the old thread has gone

Ah well. Looking forward to the next few months, some good TV to be viewed, Inbetweeners and QI I'm especially looking forward to.
new Misfits in November as well

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FelixMeOneMoreTime
May 11, 2010


Adrianics posted:

I wish some of our channels could be more up front about what American programmes they're showing - In particular I want to know when Sky One (they have exclusive rights to HBO programming, right?) is going to show Boardwalk Empire.

I don't think Sky One do have exclusive rights, unless they got them very recently. Channel 4 shows the Ricky Gervais Show and True Blood, More 4 shows Curb Your Enthusiasm, ITV 2 shows Entourage, and there are a bunch of other HBO shows spread about the channels.

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Adrianics
Aug 15, 2006

Affirmative. Yes. Yo. Right on. My man.

FelixMeOneMoreTime posted:

I don't think Sky One do have exclusive rights, unless they got them very recently. Channel 4 shows the Ricky Gervais Show and True Blood, More 4 shows Curb Your Enthusiasm, ITV 2 shows Entourage, and there are a bunch of other HBO shows spread about the channels.

Yeah it was announced in July: miss teen kansas 2009

I'm for it in theory, as long as it stops things like Five's treatment of Breaking Bad and 30 Rock, not to mention the fate of several shows on ITV.

(I know Breaking Bad and 30 Rock aren't HBO, but my point still stands)

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FelixMeOneMoreTime
May 11, 2010


Adrianics posted:

Yeah it was announced in July: kate hudson nude free

I'm for it in theory, as long as it stops things like Five's treatment of Breaking Bad and 30 Rock, not to mention the fate of several shows on ITV.

(I know Breaking Bad and 30 Rock aren't HBO, but my point still stands)

Channel Five can't be trusted with good TV shows. It seems to put them on at stupid times, and not advertise them. BBC did that with Arrested Development as well, showing it at 00:30 in the morning.

Sky buying HBO could be good, as in theory it will replace the sub-ITV drivel that they normally show with top quality American drama and comedy. HBO and Karl Pilkington might make Sky actually watchable.

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Tempo 119
Apr 17, 2006



thehustler posted:

A license fee is not a unique thing to the UK in any way, but I am not sure whether the license fees in other countries go directly to their state broadcasters in the way it does here.

Remember, a lot of state broadcasters, even though they may receive money from taxation, also do show adverts.

"Due to the unique way the BBC is funded" is a catchphrase.

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Sion
Oct 16, 2004

"I'm the boss of space. That's plenty."


Tempo 119 posted:

"Due to the unique way the BBC is funded" is a catchphrase.

Yeah that is sort of what I was going for...

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Figaro
Feb 21, 2006

Hi, I've come to apply for the doctor's job. I can assure you my credentials are top-notch, I've just graduated from Harvard College Yale. I aced every semester, and I got an 'A'.

Who would you say is more loathsome? Louis Walsh or Piers Morgan?

They both have intolerably smug expression whilst sitting to the left of Simon Cowell. I'm pretty sure that like a narcissistic thin girl wants to have a picture taken with her ugly fat friend, to make her look better. Cowell surrounds himself with preening cunts in order to vaguely resemble a human person.

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FelixMeOneMoreTime
May 11, 2010


Figaro posted:

Who would you say is more loathsome? Louis Walsh or Piers Morgan?

They both have intolerably smug expression whilst sitting to the left of Simon Cowell. I'm pretty sure that like a narcissistic thin girl wants to have a picture taken with her ugly fat friend, to make her look better. Cowell surrounds himself with preening cunts in order to vaguely resemble a human person.

Louis is a smug tool, but he can be quite funny, and he seems like a relatively nice person. Piers is disgusting though. He's like a parody of smug British people. Everything he says is either sucking up to bigger celebrities, or bigging up Piers himself. All the hate towards Piers Morgan on comedy shows is completely justified.

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Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

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Sion posted:

tranny porn tube free ITV is a bit of a weird one in that it’s a purely commercial channel that changes how it’s presented around the country. In Scotland ITV is called STV. In Ireland it’s called UTV. England and Wales it’s called ITV. It produces Coronation Street (imagine Eastenders only with less sanity and more grime), The X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, Dancing on Ice, Dancing on Ice with the stars, Dancing on Ice Extra, Dancing on Ice’s little brother and Primeval. Somehow ITV decided it would be a good idea to see if they could stretch their stunning list of shows over 4 channels that you can only subject yourself to through Digital TV. ITV shows don’t get good ratings and the show is bleeding money from the hip.

STV and UTV are independent of ITV, in that they're not owned by ITV plc but by STV group and UTV Media, who all have shares in the ITV franchise. ITV plc's organisational structure is the result of this shitfest:



It also means exciting regional variations for programming which is specifically designed to piss off schedulers or embarrass other parts of the network, eg. this year's series of kim katrall sex scene Britain's Best Dish not being carried by STV, so nobody in Scotland could watch it. Including the contestants.

As to the bad ratings thing, ITV has some of the consistently highest rating shows on British network television. *
code:
BBC1
w/e 29 Aug 2010                                         000's
1	EASTENDERS (MON 2001)                   	9,245
2	EASTENDERS (TUE 1929)                     	8,723
3	EASTENDERS (FRI 2000)                      	8,616
4	EASTENDERS (THU 1928)                    	8,605
5	WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (MON 2100)          	6,463
6	THE VERY LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE (SUN 2000)	5,709
7	HOLBY CITY (WED 1929)                     	5,306
8	SECRET BRITAIN (SUN 2059)                      	5,304
9	GREAT BRITISH WASTE MENU (WED 2030)       	5,244
10	COUNTRYFILE (SUN 1900)                  	5,204

ITV1
w/e 29 Aug 2010                                         000's
1	THE X FACTOR (SAT 1929)                 	10,810
2	CORONATION STREET (MON 1932)                   	9,506
3	CORONATION STREET (MON 2029)                   	9,467
4	CORONATION STREET (FRI 1932)              	8,134
5	CORONATION STREET (THU 2031)            	8,045
6	CORONATION STREET (FRI 2029)              	7,938
7	EMMERDALE (MON 1900)                    	7,255
8	EMMERDALE (THU 1959)                     	6,781
9	EMMERDALE (WED 1859)                    	6,748
10	EMMERDALE (THU 1900)                     	6,747
Though they are strangely terrible at making money, only having made £196 million last year. Which is astoundingly shite for a company with a turnover of almost 2 billion pounds.

* disclaimer: this doesn't mean I think they're good shows, it just means the audience are idiots.

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Figaro posted:

Who would you say is more loathsome? Louis Walsh or Piers Morgan?

They both have intolerably smug expression whilst sitting to the left of Simon Cowell. I'm pretty sure that like a narcissistic thin girl wants to have a picture taken with her ugly fat friend, to make her look better. Cowell surrounds himself with preening cunts in order to vaguely resemble a human person.

Piers wins because as a newspaper editor he published false stories about prisoner abuse in Iraq, directly endangering lives for profit.

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lazyjane
Aug 24, 2003

Lemurs, Man, Lemurs

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

* disclaimer: this doesn't mean I think they're good shows, it just means the audience are idiots.

I am a massive idiot!

Also I like 'cutting edge' documentaries. I like Pete vs Life and Shooting Stars and Grandmas' House and think My Family is poo poo but it was tolerable at the beginning when that guy from the BT adverts was in it. I hate the BT adverts.

Can't wait for the new series of Misfits to start!

OH! Louis doesn't seem too bad but Piers Morgan is a total bellend.

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Mar 2, 2007

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Just thought I should remind you guys of the best show ITV ever made since we have a Tory mob back in charge ...

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Adrianics
Aug 15, 2006

Affirmative. Yes. Yo. Right on. My man.

Figaro posted:

Who would you say is more loathsome? Louis Walsh or Piers Morgan?

Louis Walsh comes across as generally meaning well but not being able to pull off the same shtick as Cowell, plus he's just a bit of a moron.

Piers Morgan is an utter, ice-cold, awful stinkyhole for all the reasons already mentioned.

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Padje
Sep 9, 2003

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Rapey Joe Stalin posted:

Piers wins because as a newspaper editor he published false stories about prisoner abuse in Iraq, directly endangering lives for profit.

He also had photographs staged of British forces abusing people. Right from the start it was clear they weren't real, having been too well taken, compared to the American cheesy holiday snaps that had surfaced.

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Jul 14, 2004

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Graviton v2 posted:

Just thought I should remind you guys of the best show ITV ever made since we have a Tory mob back in charge ...

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Algol Star
Sep 6, 2010



Was bored and decided to watch Great TV Mistakes on iplayer and it must honestly be one of the worst programmes the BBC's ever made. 2 hours of Simon Webb pointing out that for 0.001s a camera man is visible in the corner of the screen and acting as if it's some shocking moment like the presenter just stripped on live TV.

Only made it a few minutes in before I wanted to kill myself.

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FelixMeOneMoreTime
May 11, 2010


Algol Star posted:

Was bored and decided to watch Great TV Mistakes on iplayer and it must honestly be one of the worst programmes the BBC's ever made. 2 hours of Simon Webb pointing out that for 0.001s a camera man is visible in the corner of the screen and acting as if it's some shocking moment like the presenter just stripped on live TV.

Only made it a few minutes in before I wanted to kill myself.

Robert Webb, Simon Webb was in the boyband Blue. You're right about the show though, it was really shoddy. I watched it for 10 minutes and got bored, then saw it had a running time of nearly 2 hours. God only knows how they stretched that out.

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Adrianics
Aug 15, 2006

Affirmative. Yes. Yo. Right on. My man.

I assume you mean Robert Webb rather than the black guy from Blue, but other than that yeah I completely agree. I made it through fifteen minutes of TEE HEE THE SET WOBBLED WHEN THEY SHUT THE DOOR before shutting it off. And they managed to make a two hour show out of that?

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Betjeman
Jul 14, 2004

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Adrianics posted:

I made it through fifteen minutes of TEE HEE THE SET WOBBLED WHEN THEY SHUT THE DOOR before shutting it off. And they managed to make a two hour show out of that?

BBC3 is the most pointless channel ever, why they don't just make it exclusively for repeats and bump the good stuff to BBC2 I don't know

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thehustler
Apr 17, 2004

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Trin Tragula posted:

The one good thing Channel 5 ever did was the British version of The Mole, which was absolute genius but died after two years because no fucker watched it because it was on Channel 5

(The presenter, Glenn Hugill, later took a light-entertainment Endemol format and, as executive producer, turned it into kristin kreuk fake nude. Can't think of a more deserving bloke to get the success.)

He developed that? Christ.

The Mole was top.

Also this from his wiki:

quote:

In 1980, as a ten year old schoolboy, he garnered a degree of notoriety when a national I.Q. test designed for under 16's calculated his I.Q. as 207. It was the highest recorded result in the country. Local newspaper The Northern Echo then reported he took another test designed for adults and recorded a result of 177, which was the highest score the test was capable of registering.[1]

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Algol Star
Sep 6, 2010



I don't understand BBC3, isn't that the kind of light entertainment stuff the BBC's specifically supposed to avoid, yet they have a whole channel of it that apart from the occasional gem manages to be worse than the other main channels.

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Apr 17, 2004

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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

STV and UTV are independent of ITV, in that they're not owned by ITV plc but by STV group and UTV Media, who all have shares in the ITV franchise. ITV plc's organisational structure is the result of this shitfest:

guys working out naked Edit: I was reading that diagram wrong, I thought STV and UTV were on it somewhere but they're not, it's just ITV plc's diagram. But I'll leave the rest of this post here as written.

My Guernsey-born colleague insists that you amend that and add Channel Television to that diagram, as he worked for them briefly. They're an important part of the ITV cog, given that pretty much all of the legal/compliance stuff goes through them. For those readers who don't know, when OFCOM fine the network for some transgression, they actually fine a percentage of advertising revenue from the nominated region that handled the compliance. Channel being the smallest region means its revenue is tiny, so ITV plc. funnel all of the compliance through them. So the fines are massively reduced when a show like Britain's Got Talent fucks up. Mahmoud can probably provide more info about stuff like this or correct me if I'm wrong about anything.

Here's an interesting tidbit for you all. The ITV network of the modern day is less resilient and less configurable than in the old days. I've been doing a lot of nerdy reading about the network and how it was all linked together, back in the days when individual regions were responsible for their own playout. So a region could just opt out at any time from the network feed and do something on their own. These days, with all of the ITV plc.-owned regions having their playout systems located in Leeds (North) and London (South) and run by Technicolour, it's not so easy anymore for a region to just flick a switch. It all has to be coordinated. Back in the day there was a horrendously complex arrangement between the regions, the IBA, and British Telecom who were responsible for the hard-switching of lines into and out of the regions, and then on to the network.

STV's continuous opting out from the network feed is hilarious, though. They're pretty much just sticking two fingers up to ITV plc. in order to prove some kind of point, but all of the viewers are revolting because they're missing out on stuff. In order to stick two fingers back up at STV, and to a lesser extent UTV (but not Channel because they like Channel) they only provided a "dirty" feed to those regions, which means it had promos and branding that required some very quick cutting on a vision mixer with excellent timing to avoid a quick "flash" up of something from another region or some network branding. Mind you, Channel coped well enough with a dirty TVS/Meridian feed for years, I guess you get good at it after a while.

Nerdy post done. I could probably do more.

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SavoyTruffle
Jan 20, 2005

~~grief is good~~

Virgin One is Channel One now, apparently. What a brilliant name, well done Sky.
I found it the other day and it appeared to be a brand new channel inexplicably showing season eight of The X-Files. I didn't realise it was just Virgin One. They bought some pretty good US imports when they started up (The Riches, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) and showed Seinfeld during the day. I thought it was going to be alright. It's not. It's poo poo.

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Rude Dude With Tude
Apr 19, 2007

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thehustler posted:

My Guernsey-born colleague insists that you amend that and add Channel to it.

They're an important part of the ITV cog, given that all the compliance goes through them.

Here's an interesting fact for you all. The ITV network of the modern day is less resilient than in the old days. I've been doing a lot of nerdy reading about the network and how it was all linked together, back in the days when individual regions were responsible for their own playout.

Not all compliance is done by Channel, there's a compliance department at TLS in the weird building bolted on to the side of the building that's got hyper realistic sex dolls This Morning in it and there's doubtlessly other compliance departments dotted around the UK. It's handy having them to do compliance because that way ITV gets fined less when they gently caress up. Also I just stole that graph from Wikipedia and I totally forgot they existed.

Playout is (now) easily messed with because it's all run by Technicolor in Chiswick, who have just spent lots of money on sex machine you tube that will probably be removed by the next engineer in a hurry.

e: VVV oh well you said it better and should make more nerdy posts like that. Also yeah you're spot on with Channel being used to lessen the damage on fines from Ofcom, as they can only fine you up to 5% of the ad revenue. Because nobody lives on the Channel Islands they don't make very much money from advertising, so they can't be fined as much.

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thehustler
Apr 17, 2004

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Yeah refresh I just amended a shitload

I thought you'd put every region on the diagram but you've only put the ITV plc. ones on. My bad.

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Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.


SavoyTruffle posted:

Virgin One is Channel One now, apparently. What a brilliant name, well done Sky.

You forgot to mention this:

It looks bessie bardot nude pictures horrible. As well as being stupid as you'll see on promos when it will say Channel One (Freeview channel 20, Sky channel 121, Virgin Media channel 119).

It's an even worse name than olivia wilde sex video Daybreak, which I admit is growing on me.

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Apr 17, 2004

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I saw a picture of a Channel TV news studio once. It was literally in what looked like a storage room, with shelving around the cameras, and the desk plonked at the end, single cameras setup.

Back in 1979 when there was an industrial dispute at ITV, the union involved actually made sure that there was NO strike action at Channel, because they recognised that the lost revenue would bankrupt the company and then NONE of their members would have a job. Which was nice, I thought.

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Jan 20, 2005

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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

It's an even worse name than apple bottom jeans porn Daybreak, which I admit is growing on me.
Daybreak coincidentally shares its name with an American drama series about a man who is forced to relive the same day over and over, and which was cancelled after six episodes because nobody watched it. Just saying.

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justcola
May 22, 2004

La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo

Daybreak US version was pretty good for all intensive porpoises in that it was a standalone series that had an ending, imagine that in this day and age.

Here is a helpful diagram for americans who watch british tv
Skins > Inbetweeners
Doctor Who > Sherlock
Sherlock > Luther
Life on Mars > The Sweeney
Top Gear > The Sweeney

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Gram-O-Phone
Mar 9, 2007

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SavoyTruffle posted:

Virgin One is Channel One now, apparently. What a brilliant name, well done Sky.
I found it the other day and it appeared to be a brand new channel inexplicably showing season eight of The X-Files. I didn't realise it was just Virgin One. They bought some pretty good US imports when they started up (The Riches, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) and showed Seinfeld during the day. I thought it was going to be alright. It's not. It's poo poo.

It is good for Star Trek reruns, plus they show the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and the Life & Times of Tim which is often amusing.

I wonder if they changed the name because Richard Branson sold it or something (hence not Virgin any more)?

justcola posted:

Daybreak US version was pretty good for all intensive porpoises in that it was a standalone series that had an ending, imagine that in this day and age.

Here is a helpful diagram for americans who watch british tv
Skins > Inbetweeners
Doctor Who == Sherlock
Sherlock > Luther
Life on Mars > The Sweeney
Top Gear > The Sweeney

Nearly, but one minor correction.

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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

You forgot to mention this:

It looks high def porn clips horrible. As well as being stupid as you'll see on promos when it will say Channel One (Freeview channel 20, Sky channel 121, Virgin Media channel 119).

It's an even worse name than xxx extreme hardcore porn Daybreak, which I admit is growing on me.

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Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.


SavoyTruffle posted:

Daybreak coincidentally shares its name with an American drama series about a man who is forced to relive the same day over and over, and which was cancelled after six episodes because nobody watched it. Just saying.

Oh like that film with Bill Murray in it, Stripes?

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



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Someone told me today that Top Gear is being canceled because they can't go on without the Stig. I don't think he understood Top Gear one bit.

Maybe the next Stig will wear a stripey pink/purple jumper.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

Oh like that film with Bill Murray in it, Stripes?

Haha, wrong film. You're thinking of the Life Aquatic.

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Oct 22, 2003

Do you see?

Adrianics posted:

I wish some of our channels could be more up front about what American programmes they're showing - In particular I want to know when Sky One (they have exclusive rights to HBO programming, right?) is going to show Boardwalk Empire.

I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if they do the same thing with Boardwalk Empire as they did with The Pacific and show it on Sky Movies.

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Sep 7, 2007

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Ratjaculation posted:

Someone told me today that Top Gear is being canceled because they can't go on without the Stig. I don't think he understood Top Gear one bit.
The original black Stig 'died' when he crashed off an aircraft carrier. This is clearly ripe for a homage to sexy black nude woman.

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Jan 28, 2005

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Ratjaculation posted:

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Is it Ghostbusters 2?

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Apr 6, 2006

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Graviton v2 posted:

loving nice, the old ones have been on repeat so long now I thought they might have packed it in or maybe Stephen had a particually bad depressive episode.

The new episodes were recorded months ago, I have no idea why they wait so long to put it out. Ross Noble makes his QI debut this series!

According to some Stephen Fry interview, one regular insists on seeing the questions ahead of time (as opposed to all of them, as I had assumed), and went on to insist it wasn't Alan or Rob Brydon. Popular opinion is Rory McGrath, but I think people's opinions are coloured by his "cheating" on They Think It's All Over, when he's actually very clever from what I can gather, and I think only did it because it was funny. Honestly the show wasn't that great looking back, compared to Buzzcocks or HIGNFY in their primes, one of the few strong memories I have of it is Hancock getting annoyed at Rory's sometimes-blatant cheating.

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Dec 31, 2008

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Rory McGrath has always come across as a bit of a stinkyhole to me on QI, would not be at all surprised if it was him

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Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

Do you see?

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