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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of white trash phone sex BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


Echoing sellouts on the quality of the OP. I really wish something like this was around when I started playing a few years ago.
As someone who bought some lovely, used skates first, I'm seconding spending good money on a quality pair of skates that fit well.

sellouts posted:

Do Mission even make skates anymore? My pair is coming up on 10 years old (maybe older) so it might be time to try something new.

Not ice hockey skates. Ever since Bauer bought Mission-Itech, Mission has been strictly inline hockey.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of tiffany teen nude movies BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


Want to look like you're on the ice but aren't? Let me introduce you to the Bari Boot Rookie Boots.



For only $130, you too can own ice skates without the skate!
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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Sexy Randal posted:

Woah, those are crazy. Are they supposed to be some sort of practice tool or more of a "check out my sweet rear end skate-shoes" thing?

I think this is what they are aiming for.

shyguy posted:

I think they're a "I'm never getting laid" sort of thing.

This is what they've accomplished.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of mom son sex images BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


cenzo posted:

What is this craziness you speak of? Wouldn't that give them an almost obscene advantage? (and by advantage I mean, just put them in less of a disadvantage compared to ice hockey goalies?)

Which league practices this, so I can never go there. It's hard enough for me to score with the goalie out of position and no chance to make a play.

In addition to what lazerwolf said, in skates you can get a wider stance.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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As a goalie, I'm constantly chattering out there. When my skaters are coming back for loose pucks and have time I'll shout, "TIME, TIME!" or "little time!" if an opposing skater is slowly gaining. If the opposing skater is coming hard, I'll shout, "COMING HARD!" (teehee). If someone is back-checking my skater, I'll shout "One/two/etc on!" The big thing to listen for from your goalie is "BAAAAACK" for the one guy floating or I'll shout "SLOT!" if someone's unguarded in the slot. Get in my way and you'll hear a loud, "Screen!" On the breakout I also do a lot of "Hard up!" or "Up the boards!" to tell them straight up is open or "Back around" or "Hard around!" to tell them to send it back the other way around. I'm sure there's even more I'll yell.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people can't hear me on the longer things, but I get a lot of compliments for the shorter things.

Dangerllama posted:

Usually I shout "anyone tired?" after the first 7 minutes of their shift.
beer_league.txt

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of play free pussy games BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


You guys are all sounding like goalies with your discussion on fashion. As a goalie, I carried my gear bag until last year when the cat decided I needed a new bag and pissed all over it. Now I have a wheeled back and typically at players with roller gear bags.

sellouts posted:

Saw the smallest player in the league (and someone who is playing 1-2 leagues above where they should be playing) get their first goal in their life against us a few nights ago in 4v4. It was a hard shot from the point along the ice that went off of one of us, off our defenseman's stick (which was right next to their stick) and into the net.

We heard the eruption from their team (as the score was now 6-1 us) and realized it was a bigger deal so we kept quiet about it going off of us until we were in the locker room. It was a pretty special moment and the other team kept the puck and everything.

Been a while since I've seen that, especially in a meaningless crappy 4v4 league, but was still a nice reminder of how much fun this game can be for people at all skill levels.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of hot naked swedish women BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


xzzy posted:

How much of your gear has pro in the name?

My leg pads, glove, and blocker have pro in the name.
Guess that makes me #1 goalie.

Not that I know who the "pro" on the pads is.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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So what happens when they tape their stick with black tape?

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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bewbies posted:

I score on a lot of slappers outside. Our power play is feeding me on top of left hand circle for one timers. I wind up all the way and shoot as hard as I can, usually high. Sorry everyone.

As a goalie, these are the ones I watch go high and wide aren't they?

Dangerllama posted:

I've been hit in the face by a slapshot deflected by a stick. Seriously. Hard slapshots into traffic are a dick move.

Wear a cage.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of betty blue sex scenes BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


bewbies posted:

So we finally got some pictures from the pond hockey tournament back in February that sellouts and I played in.

This was probably before 10am:



Pretty sure we're going next year, it was awesome.

pondhockey.jpg

Pretty sure a bunch of us are going for the 2013 version and it's gonna be awesome. I'm even going to try to remember how to skate out!

(and probably take a few penalties for going to my knees to make some saves)

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Goalies probably comment on my visor more than any other players. Some variant of not being able to see my eyes. I usually just say you shouldn't be looking there anyway.

As a goalie, I'll look up at their eyes real quick to see where if the shooter is looking at the goal or down at the puck. That said, I usually make fun of people with those visors since we're indoors and all.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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...none of the people going to the tournament will be going to the wedding

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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But seriously, spray goalies...

No don't. Well, do it if you want to find out just how hard a goal stick or a blocker is.

Also, instead of Eagle River we're going to Lake Placid. You all should also sign up.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Shorts are a extremist conspiracy to force humans to shun cold weather and I'm pretty sure was recently proven to be a primary contributor to global warming.

Give me snow and ice any day.

I'm with you. Getting out of games in Austin in summer is the worst. I leave the rink and walk out into humidity and heat? No thanks.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of daisy duke porn star BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


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I told you, I'm not sure what I can bring over with me! Gonna have to call somewhere, none of the online resources make it clear.

I will mule rye over the border if allowed, though.

Lots and lots of rye.

So some of you may remember me posting this last fall or so:


Someone has decided to one-up that:

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

"The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of ginny and harry sex BORK BORK BORK." - Socrates


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(also I suck at hockey still)

I'm a goaltender and I'm still going to play in the pond hockey tournament and I'm flying all the way up from Austin.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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My knees can't take Ice hockey.

I have bad knees and my first experience in hockey was in net for inline. Moving to ice has been much nicer on my knees partially due to using nicer pads with thicker landing gear. The other part that I think helps my knees is that you slide much easier. The downside if you do switch to ice is that you'll never want to play inline ever again.

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Hockey players are all the same. We all love it and never want to let it go.

Gentlemen and Ladies, we are a weird bunch.

I've played tons of organized softball and had a blast but the best times I've had in organized sports are in beer league hockey.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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No doubt, but the fact that there's going to be a sheet of ice just sitting there waiting for me if I want to use it is enough.

There is this in Lake Placid, just FYI.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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I must have a hosed up head because the S19 fits like a glove, I love it.


Played hockey for the first time in... about a decade and a half. I am horrible but it's so much fun, what a workout also.

I too just got an S19 and it fits just fine.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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That just means you have a really weirdly sized melon.

This is true.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Watch your sticks!



Well, at least you won't get concussed.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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I just got asked to play in a pond hockey tournament in Colorado in February, apparently sponsored by PBR . I really want to do this.

If that's the tournament up at Red Feather Lakes, I've heard nothing but good things about it from when I lived there. Word of the wise, get ready to get your rear end kicked if you're not used to altitude as it's at ~7,0000 to 8,000 feet above sea level.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Anyone know what kind of mask he was wearing?

I'm going to bet on an Itech/Bauer Profile 1400.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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You'll never see me coming.



I don't think your custom wood sticks could hold up to that.

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Jun 16, 2008

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Sell sba's goalie pads for cash if you can get all of the dust off of them.



You could also sell his dolls for some cash.

As a proud owner of an S19, it fits me just great. I also wear a 7 5/8s hat.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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That's a Reebok helmet, not Easton.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Jun 16, 2008

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They want to know what "CCM" is.

Do you tell them Canada Cycle & Motor?

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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I use a GoPro in net from time to time. No one seems to be bothered by it and honestly, the in net footage is a very useful way to find flaws in my game. A lot of the time it backs up, what I noticed during the game, but it really helps to see what I did wrong or right in certain situations. Maybe it has more of an application for goalies than other positions. I normally use it for open hockey, but I'll use it for a league game every once in a while. I also have a suction cup mount, but I only use that for open hockey or private games and that angle is great for looking at positioning whereas the net cam helps a lot with studying footwork.

This is what I use mine for as well. It's a nice thing to see to work on my game without having someone sit there and just record me from the stands. I've actually had other goalies in the league notice it and ask me for the footage from it when they're on that end of the ice.

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Attachin a camera to your lid seems like a sure fire way to get your teeth knocked out.. And on a goalie a sure fire way to get clappers to the face all day.

It's not sitting on my mask, it's in the back of the net. Most people don't even notice it.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Edit:
And, if you have an indoor rink to skate at, you can shut the gently caress up about the perceived joy of outdoor skating. You assholes.

Outdoor rinks in colder climates are fun. Until I moved this summer, this was where I skated at in the winter in Longmont, CO.


It's probably around a 3/4 sheet but who cares. It's ice outside and it cost a whole $5/drop-in or $60 for the entire season (November through early March).
Plus it's in a city park and gets all lit up for the season.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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So yeah, I love it when D-men screen their own goalies. Last night I buried the game-winner with a few minutes left in the game from above the hash marks. The D-man was directly in between the goalie and I, shoulders completely square to me. I fired it right between his legs and beat the goalie blocker side. I could barely even see the net, so I had no clue it even went in until everyone else put their hands up.

Were you playing against me on Sunday night? The other team kept winning the faceoff back to the point and their d-man kept firing a heavy snap shot every time with my d-men (yes, both of them) in front. Even after I told my d-men to stop this, they still kept doing it and it ended up being how they scored the GWG.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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What is everyone's opinion on what the wingers responsibilities are in the defensive zone. Our team gets into arguments about it all the time because our D is terrible down low but they scream at us if we drop down to help them out or ever leave the point at all for any reason

Don't come below the hashmarks. If you drop down there is no outlet for when you regain puck possession and you just become part of the clusterfuck in front of the net.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Taylor Hall would literally kill me. Those guys are scary.

Also our "pro" goalie was pretty disappointing, 4 goals on about 10 shots, two very soft goals. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE JUST STOP THE EASY ONES

On my way.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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To be fair, Vancouver is basically the Canadian Seattle, and Seattle inhabitants are legendary in their capacity to lose their poo poo whenever there's snow. I don't think any other city in the world shuts down as completely.

Have you ever tried to drive around Seattle after it snows? The place is rather hilly and doesn't have much of a plow fleet.

The streets downtown can range from a 5% to 20% grade and they can't use salt on the ice on the roads because of the salmon.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Seattle has good public transit, though, right? I'd hope so.

Here's what the buses do.
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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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If you can't use salt (and why not, salmon loving live in salt water, so use sea salt on your roads instead if the chemical crap) then use gravel. Or buy a plow fleet. I know Seattle typically only gets one big snow a year, but it does such an amazing job shutting the city down you'd think they'd find a solution.

I lived in the Seattle region for several years, and their behavior still confuses me.

In addition to what coldwind said, since Seattle only gets one decent snow a year, why would you spend the millions of dollars on snow plows?

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Also, weren't you how said Seattle were bad at this because of stupid hippies?

I don't even know how to respond to this. I'm going to go with no.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Sorry for offending your delicate sensibilities. Let me be a little more clear.

You are not body checking someone in that video so thus, a body checking penalty should not be called on you.

As the person who you are defending has the puck in that video, interference is not applicable.

As you only have one hand on your stick and are not using it against the players body, or knocking them over with your hand, or shoving them, no sort of roughing or cross checking will be called.

As you're not using your hand as the primary means for impeding a player, are not grabbing at them and you have position on them, holding is not applicable.

As you're not using your stick to shove at the puck and mistakenly catching their skates, a tripping penalty is not applicable.

As you're not punching the player with your free hand and your gloves remain on, a misconduct or fighting penalty should not be called.

.............

Sorry for not coming off more pedantic in my earlier post. I think that'll cover it so we're abundantly clear.

If you watch the video it's pretty clear it's not a penalty from anyone who's seen an adult game. It's also from a site called hockeytutorials.com, so it's a pretty safe assumption that they're not going to be teaching you how to get penalties called on you.

The distinction between no contact and no checking is actually a large point of contention in many games. How often do you hear guys chirping about being bodied/roughed up a little without a call? I'd wager pretty often. Problem is that it's no checking, not no contact. No contact would make the sport pretty much impossible at anything above a shinny level.

I think this is an important distinction to make for a player like xzzy who is still getting his feet in the game and starting out in leagues -- he should not be afraid of body contact. He just can't use it as the primary means of freeing up the puck. And he shouldn't be scared of touching another player. That's how the game is played.

This is very helpful, thank you sellouts.

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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There was virtually no purposeful contact in both of the leagues I played in since September and anyone who threw a hit got penalized for it, so

I still would rather play in a league where guys are looking to skate, pass and shoot rather than get their jollies by wrestling in the crease but that's far from unanimous.

You're one of those forwards who camps in front of the goalie and then gets all pissed off when the goaltender pushes you out of the way, aren't you?

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Bradf0rd
Jun 16, 2008

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Bradf0rd is like a PG-rated Ron Hextall.

Hey, I hit them only after I get blatantly slashed. Also, some of the things I've been known to yell put me at least at a PG-13.


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I'm torn between replying with "no, that rarely ever happens to anyone in games I play" and asking you if you're one of those defensemen who spazzes out and crosschecks anyone within 20 feet of the net.

I only shove forwards who camp out in front of me. I only trip forwards who bump into me in the crease. I have rules and standards, thank you very much.

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EDIT: Also, if my goalie has held the puck and you are standing pretty close, I will get in between you and goalie. Sometimes I have to do a little pushing to get in, I guess that might be considered playing the body. And if you whack at the pads, I'll get a little more forceful about it.

The best defensemen.

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