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Nov 9, 2009


Reverse Jesus posted:

Amazon just changed the ADWD release date from July 16 to 'July 16 - July 19'.

It begins.
He leaked the books on purpose. To give us hope, which he would then crush. Next we will hear that he decided to re-write some chapters, and that the release will be delayed.

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Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009



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Reverse Jesus posted:

Amazon just changed the ADWD release date from July 16 to 'July 16 - July 19'.

It begins.

Still says July 12th for me:

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Ixian
Oct 9, 2001

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Pillbug

Relax, it's due to demand for the print books. So many are preordered they may not be able to fulfill them with stock on hand, so they put in another order (the publisher printed enough, believe me) and they probably aren't certain they'll get them in time.

You'll notice the Kindle edition still has the same date, the 12th (12am PST on the 12th to be exact).

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Mr. Bad Guy
Jun 27, 2006

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Man, it looks like we all got so caught up in the book nver coming out at all, we never really developed a contingency plan for the book coming out video porno de transexuales and being terrible. Personally, i took it for granted that in a world where ADwD comes out, it's well written and a worthy sequel. Can someone tell me if the Daenerys / Theon poo poo is the exception?

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A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009

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It's the other half of AFFC. Of course it's terrible.

I'm looking forward to the story going nowhere at all at a glacial pace, stopping every other page for a food description or a lesbo sex scene.

It's seriously going to be the worst book I've ever read.

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Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... free sex machines videos you're blind.

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Tony Danza Claus posted:

It's seriously going to be the worst book I've ever read.

So you're saying you never read Foucault's Pendulum.

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Pastry Mistakes
Apr 6, 2009

I'm a terrrrrrrrible poster folks





He's saying he's never read Atlas Shrugged.

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A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009

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Abnegatus posted:

He's saying he's never read Atlas Shrugged.

ADWD is going to be so much worse than this. I couldn't believe something was possible a few years ago, but here we are with a 1,000 page fantasy novel about incompetent lesbians and dickless Vikings spitting into preteen girls' pussies.

loving GRRM.

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Ogmius815
Aug 25, 2005


I don't know guys pretty much everyone who can actually say they've read the book seems to like it maybe it's time to retire the "ASoIaF is now terrible" schtick.

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A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009

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There's also people who jerk off to Sonic the Hedgehog slashfic. I don't care. I know what's good, and GRRM ain't it.

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Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

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Ogmius815 posted:

I don't know guys pretty much everyone who can actually say they've read the book seems to like it maybe it's time to retire the "ASoIaF is now terrible" schtick.

Who are you referring to? Reviewers for magazine and such? Why would they say something negative about the Highly Anticipated New Work from Celebrated Author George RR Martin, the American Tolkien?

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PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


Contra Calculus posted:

I don't think the Boltons are "terrible villains," as you say.

Oh, I didn't mean that Boltons were poorly written or bad for the story. I meant that the Boltons are downright awful human beings, much like the Bloody Mummers.

quote:

So you're saying you never read Foucault's Pendulum.

You just go gently caress yourself and die.

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Ogmius815
Aug 25, 2005


Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Who are you referring to? Reviewers for magazine and such? Why would they say something negative about the Highly Anticipated New Work from Celebrated Author George RR Martin, the American Tolkien?

Yup American book reviewers sure do love sucking genre fiction cock that's for sure.

EDIT: And hey look I'm not saying the book is any good. Just that maybe we should read it before drawing conclusions.

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Ray_
Sep 15, 2005

It was like the Colosseum in Rome and we were the Christians." - Bobby Dodd, on playing at LSU's Tiger Stadium


The book is good.

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VaultAggie
Nov 18, 2010

Best out of 71?

So does the new book help explain what the gently caress Varys is doing? I've just finished re-reading the books and still have no idea what the hell he's pulling for. At first I thought he was trying to help Dani but now I just don't know what the gently caress.

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whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010


Well, he tells someone what he's doing, but hell if we know whether or not he's lying.

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There was a lot I didn't like about the fourth book, but the one part I loved was not having to read Daenerys chapters. Although now that she might actually have an impact on the other 90% of the plot, maybe it wont be so bad.

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AmericanGeeksta
Jun 18, 2011


Im halfway through the series, about to start Storm of Swords (I think its called) and I am enjoying them, thank you very much.

To the above Varys question: I am wondering the same thing. I think hes just one of those people who loves to have their hand in everything, and has discovered that he can be useful doing just that. If I had to describe him, Id say hes out for the advancement of himself and no one else.

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Darko
Dec 23, 2004



SpaceMost posted:

There was a lot I didn't like about the fourth book, but the one part I loved was not having to read Daenerys chapters. Although now that she might actually have an impact on the other 90% of the plot, maybe it wont be so bad.

I basically just skip Daenerys chapters and read Wiki summaries of what happens; it's so disconnected, she pisses me off, and I actually generally don't like dragons and poo poo. I'm dreading revisiting her in this book, although maybe I can tolerate her a bit more now since she's more connected now.

I agree with the sentiment that Brienne chapters were irritating in the 4th book, mainly because of the stated reasons; you knew she wasn't accomplishing her quest, so it was basically her going nowhere fast. Still, however, I prefer hearing of how hosed up the world is and the fallout from the war as opposed to slaves and dragons.

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Dog Toggle Switch
May 16, 2006



Darko posted:

I basically just skip Daenerys chapters and read Wiki summaries of what happens; it's so disconnected, she pisses me off, and I actually generally don't like dragons and poo poo. I'm dreading revisiting her in this book, although maybe I can tolerate her a bit more now since she's more connected now.

I agree with the sentiment that Brienne chapters were irritating in the 4th book, mainly because of the stated reasons; you knew she wasn't accomplishing her quest, so it was basically her going nowhere fast. Still, however, I prefer hearing of how hosed up the world is and the fallout from the war as opposed to slaves and dragons.

I guess I'm at a polar opposite here. Personally, I've enjoyed Daenerys's development through the series and am eager to see how she functions as the "wild card" (if I may) in the whole series. Towards the end of the fourth book, a lot is made to her being the one force strong enough to stand against the oncoming threat from beyond the wall (or so I gathered anyway).
Also, I enjoy Brienne if only because she is the only true knight in the whole drat series; chivalrous, dutiful and chaste to a fault. That she's an ugly dude-woman is just a bit of dichotomy to define her character, otherwise she's a bog standard, high-fantasy knight in shining armor. In any other world, it'd be a tired cliche, but in this series, it's interesting to see how she develops and plays along with the throngs of assholes populating the world.
Granted, her place in the last book, as previously mentioned, seems like a lot of fluff, but I still enjoy seeing how she so rigidly holds onto her ideals, despite that we, the readers, know that poo poo ain't happening.

e: Also, to add to the speculation on the fifth book:
It has Tyrion chapters, Book owns.

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Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... free porno videos hardcore you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.



PeterWeller posted:

You just go gently caress yourself and die.

Hey, I picked it up because the back copy made it sound awesome. Some guys at a publishing house start running conspiracy theories through a computer to create the ultimate conspiracy, as a joke, and wind up stumbling onto the real deal? That sounds awesome!

Instead I got to read about the narrator going to Brazil for a few years and having sex with some gorgeous woman who was drugged at a party. Also some other guy's childhood during the Italian civil war, and how much he loves some woman 1/3th his age. And the one guy was Jewish and loved to play word games.

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Aug 30, 2008

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Darko posted:

I basically just skip Daenerys chapters and read Wiki summaries of what happens; it's so disconnected, she pisses me off, and I actually generally don't like dragons and poo poo. I'm dreading revisiting her in this book, although maybe I can tolerate her a bit more now since she's more connected now.
Are we allowed to mention the TV show here?

If so, I think it's hilarious It's a shame that HBO has to fork over so much money every season to keep the Dany storyline going, even though the earliest she'll interact with any of the Westeros characters is Season 6 (assuming the rumor book 3 will be two seasons is true). I guess they couldn't get rid of Dany without truly screwing with the source material, but still -- she's a show within a show, and I found her TV adaptation less interesting then her chapters in the book. The worst part is the show will almost definitely not last that many seasons, and the seasons that they do film will suffer for Dany's inclusion.

If not, I guess I'll be probated.

I can't wait to see more Dorne in the fifth book - that last Dorne chapter really knocked it out of the park, and I've been pretty interested in all the Dornish character that have popped up. Also, Samwell's Adventures in Oldtown.

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PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Hey, I picked it up because the back copy made it sound awesome. Some guys at a publishing house start running conspiracy theories through a computer to create the ultimate conspiracy, as a joke, and wind up stumbling onto the real deal? That sounds awesome!

In addition, I got to read about the narrator going to Brazil for a few years and having sex with some gorgeous woman who was drugged at a party. Also some other guy's childhood during the Italian civil war, and how much he loves some woman 1/3th his age. And the one guy was Jewish and loved to play word games.

Fixed that. I enjoyed all that stuff, felt it added a great deal of depth to the protagonists, and saw it all as an integral part of the larger plot.

As for the books at hand, I enjoy the Dany chapters. It's through those that we get to see the wider world beyond Westeros. I enjoy the "exotic" cultures a lot, especially in light of how generically European most of Westeros is.

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bigmcgaffney
Apr 19, 2009


My amazon ordered shipped, I am filled with a mixture of trepidation and excitement, and a craving for pizza, but not that chicago deep dish poo poo.

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bigmcgaffney posted:

My amazon ordered shipped, I am filled with a mixture of trepidation and excitement, and a craving for pizza, but not that chicago deep dish poo poo.
The only proper sustenance whilst reading A Song of Ice and Fire is pepperoni pizza, cheetos, and root beer.

It is known.

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Jun 1, 2004

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bigmcgaffney posted:

My amazon ordered shipped, I am filled with a mixture of trepidation and excitement, and a craving for pizza, why men watch porno but not that chicago deep dish poo poo.


The choices you have made with your life, both in the literature you purchase as well as your pizza preference, fill me with a weird combination of hatred and dread. Enjoy your lovely book with your equally lovely pizza.

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SlipkPIe
Dec 22, 2008


Solice Kirsk posted:

The choices you have made with your life, both in the literature you purchase as well as your pizza preference, fill me with a weird combination of hatred and dread. trish status sex tape Enjoy your lovely book with your equally lovely pizza.

Why are you in this thread?

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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

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I take it you think the book will not be terrible and not full of castrated Theon cunnilingus? Well you are wrong sir. Dead wrong. I was also more upset about a person not enjoying deep dish pizza. That's like... putting beans in chili or ketchup on a hot dog

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whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010


You forgot a 16 year old queen banging everything that's vaguely attractive.

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Reverse Jesus posted:

Amazon just changed the ADWD release date from July 16 to 'July 16 - July 19'.

I initially parsed this as 'July 2016 - July 2019'.

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Paper Lion
Dec 13, 2009





Yesterday I learned that Wild Cards'ing someone can get them fired

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Feb 22, 2004
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whowhatwhere posted:

You forgot a 16 year old queen banging everything that's vaguely attractive.

She has sex with two people, the second person being her husband. There is the fling with Daario, but to her credit (not that she would need to justify it in any way, she's a young girl and the queen, she can do as she pleases) she ends her relationship with him and weds a mereenese noble whom she has absolutely no love for in order to protect her city. She overprioritizes mereen, but her time there prepares her for playing on the bigger stage of westoros.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I take it you think the book will not be terrible and not full of castrated Theon cunnilingus?

It's not? It's never explicitly stated that he has been castrated and he only goes down on her the one time.

The boltons aren't an unimaginable, monolithic evil; they're psychopaths who, because of their station, can do whatever they want without censure. And they've lived like this not for years, but for centuries. Their crest is a symbol of human suffering, and the culture of their house is one that celebrates wanton cruelty. After a while, they just do terrible things out of boredom and keep pushing boundaries for the sake of new stimulation. A close ally of Roose says she doesn't believe he's playing the game of thrones because he's covetous of power, but because plays purely out of the enjoyment of loving with people. The same way that Theon is a pet to Ramsay, Ramsay is a pet to Roose. Roose does and says things to provoke him but knows he wont retaliate because at any time Roose can take away all of Ramsay's power. I just loving loved the Boltons in this book, I could talk about them for hours.

Also, don't let little snippets lead you to believe ADWD is a bad book, because it's not, it's great. Like the previous entries in the series, there is rich detail and character growth (Selmy's chapters were few but amazing) so tangential details shouldn't be taken as whole representations of what happens. They're taken out of context, which I think is everything in this series. I've always loved ASOIAF for the little details, which ADWD has a lot of. Sorry for going long. I'm just getting bummed out by some of the "gently caress you martin, this was a failure " by people who haven't read it yet.

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Aug 5, 2004

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whowhatwhere posted:

You forgot a 16 year old queen banging everything that's vaguely attractive.

Are we talking about Dany or Margery, because either one of them could be loving Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know

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Rootbeer Baron posted:

This is so ridiculous I'm having trouble even believing it. Is Dance like 100% Dany porno/Theon sadism? Also I don't believe the thing about going down on the girl on the wedding night because god drat I don't want to imagine anyone writing that let alone Martin (but if anyone would...)

It's torture porn and pedo bait. These are things GRRM gets off on. How have you gotten this far without realizing it?

It's like not noticing that he brutally murders any character his fans take a liking to just to be edgy.

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whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010


Then why would he murder Jon

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A GLISTENING HODOR
Aug 8, 2009

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SlipkPIe posted:

Why are you in this thread?

Because the GRUM is the worst author. His flowery prose for the juices running out of a ham, and juices that do not equally flow forth from the vaginas of preteen surprise sex victims, is rivaled only by his dedication and attention to detail when crafting a story about a sexually abused preteen girl going totes lesbo.

The Worst Goddamn Author.

Absolute Fucker.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I take it you think the book will not be terrible and not full of castrated Theon cunnilingus? Well you are wrong sir. Dead wrong. I was also more upset about a person not enjoying deep dish pizza. That's like... putting beans in chili or ketchup on a hot dog

Thinking ADWD will be anything other than complete poo poo is like thinking that standing and wiping front to back is the preferable method.

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Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009



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Never change, Tony.

So since this is the first time that I pre-ordered a kindle book, how early can I expect the book to be delivered to my kindle? At midnight tonight? I want to get started on this trainwreck early.

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whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010


I thought you could preload it and it unlocks, but otherwise yeah. Unless its servers go down you'll get it at midnight.

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Daktari
May 30, 2006

As men in rage strike those that wish them best,

Amazon just dispatched my book. What the gently caress were I thinking believing I would finish a re-read of AFFC before I got the next GRRM brick in my hands.

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commish
Sep 17, 2009



Midnight pacific, to be exact. Which is unfortunate...

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