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Canuckistan
Jan 14, 2004

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Soiled Meat

Any other parents of an ASD kid? My boy is six and was diagnosed two years ago as high-functioning autistic aka Aspergers.

It's funny that I'm part of a forum where "rear end-burgers" is mocked as an excuse for not acting normal and then we have this fabulous kid who's not acting normal. I can tell you he wants to be like the other kids but he can't. He's told me so.

I know he's going to have a harder life but with the social skills coaching he's getting at this young age I'm very optimistic for his future.

As for parenting an ASD kid, I think we're very lucky as our boy is (very) vocal, can dress and feed himself, no bathroom problems, and he doesn't have any stims or obsessions. He has behavioral and social issues, and big time attention issues that can be partially treated with meds.

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Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

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Chicken McNobody, that's so sad, because at 8 months, they really do enjoy looking at things. I forget if you said if there are parks nearby? Our little guy loves looking at trees and touching grass, and this is a good time of year for it because the heat's starting to lessen. We just took our 7.5-month-old to the park for the first time and he LOVED the baby swings and sitting on our laps on the adult swings!

You can see how with the baby swing we have to tuck his arms behind the chains or he'll flipflop all over. At first we thought he was too little to enjoy it, but we just had to work with him a little

edit:

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It's funny that I'm part of a forum where "rear end-burgers" is mocked as an excuse for not acting normal and then we have this fabulous kid who's not acting normal. I can tell you he wants to be like the other kids but he can't. He's told me so.

I can't help you with your questions, but I can tell you that within this thread, you won't see anyone mock kids with special needs.

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Mar 6, 2010

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This I will definitely have to do. Last night he took off to bed with the remnants of the baby's dinner were still on the table. I didn't clean it up, he can deal with it

Well...remember, he's been spending all day cleaning up the baby's messes. I don't mean this in the sense of it being a competition for who's more tired--I know, you're working all day too--but good god am I ready for my husband to switch over to doing childcare stuff when he gets home from work.

When you're talking to your husband about the need to get out of the house, are you framing it in terms of the baby's needs or his? Because he sounds very depressed and it might be even more depressing to feel like he's screwing up his child by being too down in the dumps to get out of the house.

I hope you guys can get to a better place. I know for me the first year or so of parenthood was a strain on my relationship with my husband. It's rough, for sure.

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Dear Prudence
Sep 3, 2012



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I tried again this weekend to ask him to get out of the house with the kid, maybe go do some activities, at least take a walk once a day. He doesn't see the point of doing activities with an 8-month-old--"he doesn't know what he's looking at and doesn't care"--but I will keep nagging anyway. Frankly I think he needs work. We are going to look at a few job postings this week. All of this will definitely come to a head soon, as he is just sucking the joy out of this whole experience, and on top of that nothing I do is a good idea or will work out or be right and that is really getting to me. Open enrollment is next month, maybe once I get him on my insurance we can afford to send him to talk to someone. Hopefully I can get him to change something subtly and not have to just confront him, as I always just melt down in tears at any kind of confrontation.

I really am at a loss. We've been married almost 6 years and this is the first real problem I've ever had with him, but I almost dread going home in the evenings now.

Why don't you print this out and show it to him. Or write it out just like this and give it to him. He maybe needs to know he's starting to affect the marriage. Hopefully that will inspire him to start getting help.

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skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
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Here's my advice to you.

Definitely get him talking with someone professional, he does probably suffer from some form of depression. I'm not a Doctor or anything, but something is obviously off with the husband

Secondly, try to get hubs to find a mommy's day out, or part time baby sitter or something if you can afford it. justin timberlake naked photos He needs time to himself alone. All primary/full time caregivers need time to themselves regardless if it's mommy or daddy. Having a kid isn't easy, everyone that has kids knows that, but being a full time caregiver with no breaks is very hard on a person. In my household I have a pretty flexible job. I can duck out for a few hours to run the kids to a Dr. Appt, or show up 20 minutes late and it's no big deal. Most days I take the kids to daycare, and pick them up. My wife works every other Saturday, so I spend all day Saturday alone with the kids as well. Saturdays can be complete hell. I love my kids, but if I'm not at work I'm 24/7 with them. On the weeks my wife works a Saturday she gets a day off during the week. She gets a day to herself with the kids at daycare to decompress. She goes out to lunch with her friends, and goes shopping without dragging a kid around with her. I'm very jealous of it. I have to burn a PTO day if I just want to be by myself for more than 20 minutes. I can't even take a poo poo in my house without my 2 1/2 year old coming in and going "Daddy make a Poop Poop?". It seriously makes me want to scream sometimes. After a rough Saturday of watching both kids for 10 hours by myself I just want to hand them to my wife and walk out the door for half an hour. I don't because I recognize she's had a hard day at work too, but its so completely frustrating it can cause issues in the relationship. I also am loathe to leave her alone with both kids because I know what I go through and don't want to do that to her. Just getting the guy a 3 hour break a couple times a week might make things better. Sometimes local churches or daycares have a Mommy's Afternoon Out or something where the kid can go for a few hours while the parent runs an errand or something.

Third, I realize this is outdated, archaic, misogynistic, or whatever, but a man's sense of self worth often can be tied to his being able to feel like a provider for his family. He may be having some internal struggles/issues with you being the breadwinner and provider. He may not have a sense of self worth, or accomplishment that men sometimes need to have. Looping back to the therapy mentioned previously might help with this. Getting him to work will probably help a lot as well. Yes, I know it's outdated, and archaic and doesn't fit in with the new societal roles, but it doesn't stop it from being true.

Last bit of advice. Communicate. Effective communication is the absolute key to any successful relationship. Don't accuse, or fight, or raise your voice, just express how you feel and talk things out.

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Chicken McNobody
Aug 7, 2009


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Well...remember, he's been spending all day cleaning up the baby's messes. I don't mean this in the sense of it being a competition for who's more tired--I know, you're working all day too--but good god am I ready for my husband to switch over to doing childcare stuff when he gets home from work.

When you're talking to your husband about the need to get out of the house, are you framing it in terms of the baby's needs or his? Because he sounds very depressed and it might be even more depressing to feel like he's screwing up his child by being too down in the dumps to get out of the house.

I hope you guys can get to a better place. I know for me the first year or so of parenthood was a strain on my relationship with my husband. It's rough, for sure.

You're right, I said that badly. Sorry hubby

I've tried to present the need to get out of the house both ways--I tried again this weekend to suggest that he must be getting a touch of cabin fever and wouldn't he like to go to the gym or the wildlife refuge or something, and he replied something like "ummmmm...nnnnnnnno, I'm fine here." He did get to go out by himself for a while yesterday to hang out with a friend. Hopefully it did him some good.

Ugggh the more I think about it the more I guess we are going to have to Sit Down and Have A Talk I'm not going to leave him or anything, but the big relationship conversations have never been A Thing We Do. I will have to think about how. Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

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Andrias Scheuchzeri
Mar 6, 2010

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Ugggh the more I think about it the more I guess we are going to have to Sit Down and Have A Talk I'm not going to leave him or anything, but the big relationship conversations have never been A Thing We Do. I will have to think about how. Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

I hate doing the Have A Talk thing too. Would it help at all to think of it not as a "relationship" talk but as a "we're really getting burned out here with this child-raising situation" talk?

Skipdogg is dead-on about finding some kind of part-time help if you can afford it. It's something I wish I'd gotten sorted out!

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Chickalicious
Apr 13, 2005

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Can you take the baby out and let him have the house to himself for a few hours? I love just being able to relax in my own house without feeling "on duty."

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Brennanite
Feb 14, 2009


I'm struggling to wean my son. He's 13 months and just does not want to stop nursing, especially at night. I'm aiming for 2 or 3 feedings a day--morning, evening, and once in the night. He wants to nurse pretty much every 3-4 hours from evening on. (I suspect he'd want to do similarly during the day, but I'm not around.) Frankly, my nipples are no longer up to such frequent feedings, and there's not enough milk anyway.

We've tried giving him milk in a sippy cup or purees in a pouch, but he just pushes them away and screams. He won't take a pacifier either. If I'm there, he refuses anything but the breast. If I'm not, he still screams for about 10 minutes before settling down and accepting milk/food. It's been two weeks though, and I'm sick of sleeping alone on the couch.

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Konomex
Oct 25, 2010


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Any other parents of an ASD kid? My boy is six and was diagnosed two years ago as high-functioning autistic aka Aspergers.

Not a parent of an ASD kid, but I have taught a number of kids with ASD. High-functioning kids can be the best students. When he reaches school age, which is about now I'm assuming (Its six where I live), see if he's entitled to an educational assistant through some sort of disability funding. Again depends on your location.

Make sure he knows its okay to ask questions about social cues, explain them clearly to him like an instruction manual and make sure his teachers understand this. Kids with Aspergers tend to be incredibly literal. They can get confused.

Honestly though, high-functioning ASD kids don't seem too different from other kids. Most teenagers are clueless about how to be properly social, let alone little kids.

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Canuckistan
Jan 14, 2004

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Soiled Meat

He has an EA in school and during the summer we hired a university student to work with him as a one-on-one at his summer camps. She had a good amount of experience working with ASD kids as well and she did a great job. Fortunately she was paid for by a provincially funded grant.

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Jan 14, 2006

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I'm getting very frustrated trying to find the magic combination of sleepwear that will keep Kosta toasty at 4:00 AM, but not so sweaty and uncomfortable when he goes to bed around 6:30 or 7:00.

We don't have central air and it's not quite cold enough for kicking the heat on, so it's about a 5-6 degree temperature drop in the wee hours. But when we're going to bed around 10:00 it's not cold yet, so throwing a blanket on him makes him too hot.

And he wakes up, cold--sometime's he'll go right back down with an extra blanket and sometimes he's up for WAAAAY too long.

I have a thermostat in the room and I'm getting kind of nutso checking it all evening. Do you think babies would sleep better if they are slightly too warm or slightly too cold?

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Mar 10, 2011


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I have a thermostat in the room and I'm getting kind of nutso checking it all evening. Do you think babies would sleep better if they are slightly too warm or slightly too cold?

I'm not sure how old he is, but the rule for younger babies is that it's better for them to be too cold. Being too warm is a SIDS risk. Also, is he actually cold? The nurse that leads my mom group said they are only cold if their core is cold. Their limbs may feel like ice cubes and they're still just fine.

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AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011



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Any other parents of an ASD kid? My boy is six and was diagnosed two years ago as high-functioning autistic aka Aspergers.

My son is autistic. Diagnosed at about five, just turned eight this July.

He's very vocal now, but was entirely nonverbal before he started speech therapy through the special ed preschool he was enrolled in. He had a lot of early intervention stuff, as he was behind in pretty much every area, but nothing specific for autism until his diagnosis.

Mentally and emotionally, I'd put him several years younger than he is. Things like math and reading, he's fine. But when it comes to dealing with life in general beyond that, he has a hard time. He's also on medication to help control self-harming behavior, and just got fully potty trained about a year ago.

It's definitely an adventure, and it's pretty hard some days, but we've got ourselves into a rhythm pretty much.

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Mar 6, 2010

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I'm not sure how old he is, but the rule for younger babies is that it's better for them to be too cold. Being too warm is a SIDS risk. Also, is he actually cold? The nurse that leads my mom group said they are only cold if their core is cold. Their limbs may feel like ice cubes and they're still just fine.

Yeah, I'd lean towards too cool over too hot. Often bigger babies and toddlers seem surprisingly tolerant of cold.

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He's 16 months, and he doesn't talk so I can't be certain. But he's all scrunched up into a ball when I check on him and he's only started waking up in the last few days since the weather has turned.

That's a good idea to check his core. I was going by his cheeks and hands.

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The Young Marge
Jul 19, 2006

but no one can talk to a horse, of course.

We're having the same issue with coldness at night. I can't be 100% positive that's the problem since he's only 10 months and doesn't talk, but he's suddenly waking at 4:30 in the morning for no discernible reason, and the weather is the only thing that's changed. We go to bed later, at around midnight, so I might just start turning the heat on then. Right now we just put him in cozy fleece footie PJs and hope for the best.

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I don't know what to do or what to say to her. I haven't slept right in two months, and I need her to engage.
Yeah, your baby needs to be held and needs to bond with his mom. (Which could totally be happening while she's hanging out on the couch!) It sounds to me like she's deeply in denial about the whole situation. I'm sorry that I don't have specific advice, but I've been thinking about you guys a lot and wanted to offer a voice of support. She really needs to be with her baby more, and you do need help for the depression. A support group sounds like a great idea for both of you.

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Apr 22, 2005



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I'm struggling to wean my son. He's 13 months and just does not want to stop nursing, especially at night. I'm aiming for 2 or 3 feedings a day--morning, evening, and once in the night. He wants to nurse pretty much every 3-4 hours from evening on. (I suspect he'd want to do similarly during the day, but I'm not around.) Frankly, my nipples are no longer up to such frequent feedings, and there's not enough milk anyway.

We've tried giving him milk in a sippy cup or purees in a pouch, but he just pushes them away and screams. He won't take a pacifier either. If I'm there, he refuses anything but the breast. If I'm not, he still screams for about 10 minutes before settling down and accepting milk/food. It's been two weeks though, and I'm sick of sleeping alone on the couch.

So he's not eating solids regularly yet, or just isn't particularly into them? That may be something you need to see your pediatrician about, or a lactation consultant. After 13 months, I can understand wanting to cut down on your nursing schedule somewhat, but ideally it should be gradual. All the best advice I've seen has come from Kellymom.com. You can try don't-offer-don't-refuse (which is pretty much what it sounds like), or cutting out one nursing session per week. Demanding to nurse so often might have some other cause too; maybe he's looking for a way to reconnect with you. Perhaps babywearing for a few hours in the evening (on your back & away from your boobs) would give him the closeness he would otherwise want from nursing.

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I have tried gDiapers (they were a gift), and they're absolute poo poo. They leak like crazy--I've seen online reviews saying the same thing. Really, just using Flip or World's Best covers with prefolds folded up inside is very simple, absorbent, and relatively cheap.

Yeah, the gDiapers seem to get really mixed reviews. Maybe it has to do with certain shapes of babies? The other thing I was told about them is that they're super brand specific, you pretty much have to use g inserts, since nothing else will fit properly, which I could see being a pain. I do have a couple gdiapers coming to me from someone who loved them, so we'll see. Their kid is a totally different shape than mine.

I did try using a Flip diaper today with their stay dry insert. Seemed pretty good so far. Sticking to the disposable ones at night for now though, at least until he gets used to the "wet" feeling of cloth diapers. Of course, his dad will stick with disposables, so we'll be using both.

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I'm getting very frustrated trying to find the magic combination of sleepwear that will keep Kosta toasty at 4:00 AM, but not so sweaty and uncomfortable when he goes to bed around 6:30 or 7:00.

We don't have central air and it's not quite cold enough for kicking the heat on, so it's about a 5-6 degree temperature drop in the wee hours. But when we're going to bed around 10:00 it's not cold yet, so throwing a blanket on him makes him too hot.

And he wakes up, cold--sometime's he'll go right back down with an extra blanket and sometimes he's up for WAAAAY too long.

I have a thermostat in the room and I'm getting kind of nutso checking it all evening. Do you think babies would sleep better if they are slightly too warm or slightly too cold?

Do you have a fan? Now that it's back to being a little warmer, we have him in fleece jammies and a cotton sleepsack, with the fan on earlier in the night. When we go to bed, we turn it off.

Brennanite, are there any foods he will eat? Kosta's getting iffy on purees now, but he loves a nice slice of apple to gnaw at.

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Dear Prudence
Sep 3, 2012



Grimey Drawer

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You're right, I said that badly. Sorry hubby

I've tried to present the need to get out of the house both ways--I tried again this weekend to suggest that he must be getting a touch of cabin fever and wouldn't he like to go to the gym or the wildlife refuge or something, and he replied something like "ummmmm...nnnnnnnno, I'm fine here." He did get to go out by himself for a while yesterday to hang out with a friend. Hopefully it did him some good.

Ugggh the more I think about it the more I guess we are going to have to Sit Down and Have A Talk I'm not going to leave him or anything, but the big relationship conversations have never been A Thing We Do. I will have to think about how. Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

Don't phrase this like he has a problem. Just say to him something like "I worry that you're not getting enough time to yourself, and that we're not getting enough time with just each other. I miss you and us and I was wondering if you have any ideas on how we can create those special times for each other during the week."

This is will get him and you on the same team. You're putting your heads together to find a solution that will benefit him and you and the marriage. It's not a confrontation, it's a team exercise.

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Jan 14, 2004

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My son is autistic. Diagnosed at about five, just turned eight this July.

It's definitely an adventure, and it's pretty hard some days, but we've got ourselves into a rhythm pretty much.

I'm sure you've thought about after school sports/programs. Do you think your son would get anything out of them? We tried soccer and swimming with our lad and his attention problems would mean him zoning out and just doing his own thing. It's hard watching practice with the other parents and seeing their kids work and excel and mine rolling around on the field by himself.

Now that he's on meds for attention we're signing him up for skating lessons. This program has experience with special needs kids so there may be some more one-on-one time.

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I'm sure you've thought about after school sports/programs. Do you think your son would get anything out of them? We tried soccer and swimming with our lad and his attention problems would mean him zoning out and just doing his own thing. It's hard watching practice with the other parents and seeing their kids work and excel and mine rolling around on the field by himself.

Now that he's on meds for attention we're signing him up for skating lessons. This program has experience with special needs kids so there may be some more one-on-one time.

He does bowling leagues, actually. We've tried other sports, but none of them held his interest at all. But for some reason, he loves bowling like nothing else. The league he was just recently in was pretty much 50-50 autistic kids and not, so there was a bit of leeway for kids spacing out for a little bit.

You could try gymnastics or dance lessons, for a physical thing that's a bit more guided than most sports. Especially dance, at that age, as it's pretty much entirely just kids rolling around and doing their own thing.

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Canuckistan
Jan 14, 2004

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Soiled Meat

Hah. Our boy loves bowling as well. His big thing is that he picks out a ball and he waits for it to return. It can sure slow down a set. He's getting better at not doing that though.

We're also thinking about gymnastics or karate.

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rio
Mar 20, 2008



Does google filter negative inquiries regarding parenting? Ever since we had our daughter seven months ago I will search for something like "dad depressed after baby" or "unhappy life after baby" just to generally get some idea of what other people are going through and there just seems to be so little in terms of results. I have no insurance and no resources to deal with depression, rotting teeth and so many negatives and it is just kind of bleak sometimes to not even be able to see that I might not be alone in feeling/being this way, particularly on night's like these when financial issues are really impacting us and I have not slept at all and have a baby on me, am eating like poo poo, have no time or energy to exercise, mess around the house etc.

The one saving grace is when my daughter sees me she lights up but man, I just don't get why simple Internet searches turn up do little for dads. Sorry for the vent. And also of I hear one more parent of a student tell me something laughablely negative ("don't plan on sleeping for
18 years LOL" etc) I am going to lose
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hookerbot 5000
Dec 21, 2009


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Does google filter negative inquiries regarding parenting? Ever since we had our daughter seven months ago I will search for something like "dad depressed after baby" or "unhappy life after baby" just to generally get some idea of what other people are going through and there just seems to be so little in terms of results. I have no insurance and no resources to deal with depression, rotting teeth and so many negatives and it is just kind of bleak sometimes to not even be able to see that I might not be alone in feeling/being this way, particularly on night's like these when financial issues are really impacting us and I have not slept at all and have a baby on me, am eating like poo poo, have no time or energy to exercise, mess around the house etc.

The one saving grace is when my daughter sees me she lights up but man, I just don't get why simple Internet searches turn up do little for dads. Sorry for the vent. And also of I hear one more parent of a student tell me something laughablely negative ("don't plan on sleeping for
18 years LOL" etc) I am going to lose
It.

I searched "dad depressed after baby" and got 34,600,000 results, here's a couple from the first page;

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But I don't really know if that's what you are looking for, are you looking for groups to join, or just information?

And I can't remember how old your baby is, but it will almost definitely get better. She (?) will start sleeping through the night at some point and once you get back to a proper routine. Also the older they get the better they are at amusing themselves, so it's less impossible to get stuff done.

Edit: 7 months, I don't read well. She's probably starting to get mobile and that's when my sanity took a nosedive - no more putting them down in one place and them staying there. But it honestly does get easier.

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rio
Mar 20, 2008



Oh whoops - yeah. That first one does get a lot of hits. I'll blame the lack of sleep as I could have sworn I did search that one already.

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Senso
Nov 4, 2005

Always working

Really glad to have randomly found this thread today, it's going to be a nice change to discuss parenting with gewns.

My wife and I have a 3 years old guy and we have been living in Vietnam for over a year - it's definitely not always easy for him. He's blond/blue-eyed so he stands out a lot. The first few weeks, he didn't mind getting touched by old ladies and photographed by teenage girls (seriously, sometimes in a park there would be 12 girls surrounding him and taking pics) but now, he flips out as soon as a Vietnamese tries to pat him or something.

Not being rich, we couldn't put him in a fancy expat private school so he's been going to a local Vietnamese daycare for about a year now. It was very hard at first since he obviously did not understand a single word (and nobody can understand him). We figured that at that age though, it would be easier for him to learn the language. It kinda works, he's getting better all the time and sometimes sings in Viet. But most mornings, he's quite reluctant in going to the daycare. Even if I get there with him and a few kids welcome him by shouting his name, he will start crying and hug me, not wanting to go. It's heartwrenching but there's not much we can do...

Also, we suspect he's hyperactive (maybe ADD too? We haven't read a lot on it). I don't know if he's too young for us to worry or if we should start working on that right away. It's obviously hard to find a specialist who speaks English in Saigon so our choices are limited regarding that. We just know that he has more energy than both of us, requires our attention non-stop, can free red headed porn not sit still for more than 3 seconds, shouts a lot, often doesn't listen to us, etc. It's slowly taking its toll, we are getting tired, might lose temper now and then... Some days are harder than others, overall we're hoping it's just a phase but it's been lasting huh, 3 years now.

Anyway, sex video free gallery TL;DR Raising an hyperactive kid in a crazy foreign country ain't always easy!

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Canuckistan
Jan 14, 2004

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Soiled Meat

Kids not wanting to go to daycare/leave their parents is quite common so don't feel bad. I'd see kids crying every day when I was dropping my son off.

We suspected at 3 that our son had attention issues and by 4 it was more than a suspicion and by 5 it was diagnosed and medicated. Little things like going to the bathroom would turn into huge delays because he would forget what he was doing and start doing something else. He's the epitome of "ooh shiny!".

Cute kid! Yeah, I can see why he would stand out in Saigon.

rio, you have my sympathies. Good luck and try to take care of yourself. If you're really bad off try contacting local charities and service groups and see if they have anything to give you a hand up.

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We suspected at 3 that our son had attention issues and by 4 it was more than a suspicion and by 5 it was diagnosed and medicated. Little things like going to the bathroom would turn into huge delays because he would forget what he was doing and start doing something else. He's the epitome of "ooh shiny!".

Yeah, I can relate to all of this.

Medication loving scares us, we hate the idea of shooting chemicals into a kid that will numb his brain, etc. Care to tell me the product name and how long was the treatment? Last thing I want is some poo poo chemical compound that creates an addiction, I've seen a few kids... Medication will be our last resort if required, like if he's completely unable to follow in class when he starts elementary...

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Canuckistan
Jan 14, 2004

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We didn't medicate until he started school and the teachers told us that he would not be able to keep up with his peers. Now that he's medicated he's doing fantastic in school. We started at 5 mg Ritalin, moved up to 10mg, and now he's at 15mg at breakfast, 15mg at lunch and 5mg at 3pm. He's doing great in school and home life is much easier. Whenever he's not paying attention it's a common thing to hear from my wife or I "meds??" meaning "Did he get his last dose?".

We've tried the once a day time released Ritalin aka Concerta and we found that it didn't work nearly as well as the regular Ritalin.

Ritalin is pretty safe. It's been used for 60 years and at his dosages it has no long term effects nor does it build tolerance or addiction. At proper dosages it shouldn't turn him into a zombie-kid free of personality or spark. Our boy still has great amounts of fun and temper tantrums. The worst side effect we experience is a lack of appetite. He's never been a great eater and sometimes it can be a chore getting half a sandwich into him. All we do with that is make sure we provide healthy choices so he's not getting empty calories when he does eat.

Don't be afraid of medication. Get informed, try to talk to a pediatrician, and make an informed choice.

Keep in mind that my son is also autistic so definitely YMMV.

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Toadpuppy
Apr 8, 2003


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Also, we suspect he's hyperactive (maybe ADD too? We haven't read a lot on it). I don't know if he's too young for us to worry or if we should start working on that right away. It's obviously hard to find a specialist who speaks English in Saigon so our choices are limited regarding that. We just know that he has more energy than both of us, requires our attention non-stop, can not sit still for more than 3 seconds, shouts a lot, often doesn't listen to us, etc. It's slowly taking its toll, we are getting tired, might lose temper now and then... Some days are harder than others, overall we're hoping it's just a phase but it's been lasting huh, 3 years now.

Out of curiosity, have you had his hearing checked? It's possible that he doesn't listen to you because he can't hear you very well, and shouts a lot because he doesn't know he's doing it.

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Beverly Cleavage
Jun 22, 2004

I am a pretty pretty princess, watch me do my pretty princess dance....

Just chiming in to echo that I'm glad to have found this thread - it'll be nice to have an occasional sounding board and reminder that we're not in this alone.

Patrick was born 9/7 - @ 7lb 12oz and 20 inches. He's already exceeded his birth weight by over a lb (which was taken a week and a half ago - so it's anybody's guess now as to how much he weighs). Mom and I are crazy proud, amazed, and more than a little tired. However, we're working through it as best we can right now and managing fairly well. As it stands, we can't imagine life without this little guy.

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Toadpuppy
Apr 8, 2003


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Just chiming in to echo that I'm glad to have found this thread - it'll be nice to have an occasional sounding board and reminder that we're not in this alone.

Patrick was born 9/7 - @ 7lb 12oz and 20 inches. He's already exceeded his birth weight by over a lb (which was taken a week and a half ago - so it's anybody's guess now as to how much he weighs). Mom and I are crazy proud, amazed, and more than a little tired. However, we're working through it as best we can right now and managing fairly well. As it stands, we can't imagine life without this little guy.



Congratulations! He's a cutie

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Ben Davis
Apr 17, 2003

I'm as clumsy as I am beautiful

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Oh whoops - yeah. That first one does get a lot of hits. I'll blame the lack of sleep as I could have sworn I did search that one already.

black granny porn video This also has a link to a forum for men with PPD. How're things going at home? Anything from before resolved? When you're already tired and upset, family stuff can seem to snowball.

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Jun 8, 2001

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Anyway, a woman having sex TL;DR Raising an hyperactive kid in a crazy foreign country ain't always easy!

Obligatory cute pic!


That is going to be interesting.

I've got a 99th percentile wild child, and at age 3 we just kind of let him run wild. Try finding something you guys can do together that doesn't make you insane, and do that, lots. I took my boy out walking in the woods for an hour or so every day for several years. Was enough stimulus and direct adult attention that he had a good time, learned things, and he didn't have do anything horribly annoying to get stimulus/reactions...for that hour.

Didn't really get serious about management/medication till first grade started going poorly for him. Kindergarten had it's share of problems, but we hoped he would grow out of his troubles. He didn't. Halfway through first grade medication was a gamechanger for him.

I found teaching the kid to read was a huge weight of parenting off my shoulders. A lot of ADD people hyperconcentrate like awesome on things they like, so being able to give my boy a book and have it buy an hour or two of silent good behavior was worth getting done as soon as possible. Probably can't really get going on that with a 3 year old, but keep it in mind as a possibility for sooner than you'd think.

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rio
Mar 20, 2008



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sex with mom dad This also has a link to a forum for men with PPD. How're things going at home? Anything from before resolved? When you're already tired and upset, family stuff can seem to snowball.
Thanks, I will definitely make my way through that link.

I guess things at home are fine. My wife is on Zoloft for PPD and was set up to start therapy, but she hasn't gone. We fight much less but when they do happen they are big. I try to just not say anything, because there is no "winning" involved and rarely a resolution. She is feeling better since starting the meds but since she is feeling better she doesn't feel the need to talk to a therapist even though her insurance covers it...I don't understand it since I would jump at the chance to talk to a therapist but whatever.

Sophie is much better in terms of her mood now and like I said above, she can cheer me up sometimes just because she will give me these smiles that are starting to really show love and adoration, and that affirmation helps me. She was sleeping through the night for the most part but at about 5 1/2 months had a sleep regression and we have not gotten back on track.

I'm frequently down in the dumps and it feels like there is just so little to look forward to sometimes, and a lot of the things I would do pre-baby to cheer myself up are just not doable anymore. There are no resolutions to so many problems and the list keeps growing. The impression I get from so many other parents is that this is just the way life is now and you get used to it. I'm sure E/N is the place for my boring laundry lost of problems so I won't go into it in detail. I'm glad that my daughter has turned into this cute little person with feelings and emotions and watching her grow is great. Here is a photo of her yesterday - 7 month birthday

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Woman
Oct 31, 2010


Wow rio she is adorable, look at those beautiful eyes!

I think i remember a post or a thread from you when you had just had your daughter and your wife was struggling with breastfeeding and you had issues with your mother in law, am i remembering right? I might be wrong. It's great that your wife is getting help for her PPD, but you sound quite depressed yourself; you say you feel like there's nothing to look forward to and that your problems have no resolution, that you feel resigned to live feeling that way. Are you covered under your wife's insurance or have any insurance of your own? Would it be possible for you to talk to a therapist about the way you are feeling and getting some help? It's normal to feel like the life you had before your baby is gone because in a way it is, but it should still be possible for you to make some time to do the things that cheer you up. It takes cooperation and communication between you and your partner so that it can happen, and it's important for the two of you to get to have "me" time. Since she doesn't want to go to therapy on her own, would she be open to going to marriage counseling for the two of you (assuming it's covered)? That might help you guys find ways to communicate better, rather than you not voicing your issues because you think there's never a resolution to your problems.

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Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

THIRTEEN!

When is a baby old enough to start using a high chair? I'm thinking about putting off buying one until it'll actually get used to avoid a lot of extra crap in our house.

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Chickalicious
Apr 13, 2005

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

We started solids at 6 months and that's when we started using the high chair. This is the one we have: japanese junior idol nude

It's portable and easy to clean and doesn't take up extra floor space like a standard high chair. Also, cheap! We caught it on sale at Babies R Us and used a coupon and we paid $17.

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