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bollig
Apr 7, 2006

Never Forget.


WRT baby sleep, someone above posted that the sleep in the first 6 weeks is basically an extension of pregnant-mess and I'm inclined to agree. Here's a very interesting tweet in that regard:

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For us, feeding was without question the greatest stressor in the first 6 weeks. My wife was also quite determined to breast-feed, but we had to supplement with formula because he was born big, but then lost a lot of weight because he would just run out of steam, eating wise. So for ~2 weeks we had to play catch up and even then it was just the occasional top up. But you have to be careful that the milk production doesn't under adapt, but as long as she's pumping herself dry, then you should be fine (probably don't take my word for it). Good call on switching to the preemie nipples btw. Here are two resources that I found to be quite useful when trying to balance breast feeding while supplementing with either pumped milk or formula:

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For the first 2 weeks we had to do this crazy elaborate dance where I would squirt breast milk on a nipple shield so he would latch. And then watch the clock because he would get lazy. But then it all evened out.

As many have said, hydration is key. Once ^ was over, my primary job during breastfeeding was to a) bring the baby to her b) make sure she had a massive water bottle c) make sure she had her cell phone (although I've stopped doing this because our guy is now a distracted feeder).

You're doing great!

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laxbro
Apr 20, 2013
Relax.

Our pediatrician loaded us up with formula samples the day after we got home from the hospital. We supplemented for the first two months then went full formula. My wife felt a lot of guilt about going full formula (thanks mommy bloggers!), but eventually got over it. Our daughter is huge and is blasting through milestones so just always remember that fed is best!

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Chili
Jan 23, 2004

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With regards to formula quality, we supplement with the target brand soy stuff. She loves it and doesn't seem to care if she's getting boob or bottle. She's been putting on weight at the same pace since we've started supplementing.

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Oct 10, 2005

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My 1 mo old has gained 1.1 lbs in the 2 weeks between Peds visit. This was nearly exclusively formula feeding (as breast milk not an option for us anymore). Before that we did a mix of breast milk and formula with no issues.

Right now we are using Emfamil (because that's what we tried in the hospital and we had samples) but want to switch to Costco Kirkland since it's half as expensive and it looks the same. Has anyone used Kirkland and like it?

I guess you can look at it this way. Formula feeding was all the rage for the Boomer generation and they survived. My own parents were exclusively formula fed and they turned out plenty fine. Side effects may include voting Republican later in life though.

I believe that Kirkland brand is actually manufactured by Enfamil 🙂 We used Similac Advanced and bought it from Amazon on the subscribe and save option (Canada) and also signed up for the Similac baby club and recieved a good $60-80 in product cheques from them.

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Oct 10, 2005

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Our pediatrician loaded us up with formula samples the day after we got home from the hospital. We supplemented for the first two months then went full formula. My wife felt a lot of guilt about going full formula (thanks mommy bloggers!), but eventually got over it. Our daughter is huge and is blasting through milestones so just always remember that fed is best!

Not just mommy bloggers, lots of random strangers had OPINIONS on how my daughter was fed.

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Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

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Right now we are using Emfamil (because that's what we tried in the hospital and we had samples) but want to switch to Costco Kirkland since it's half as expensive and it looks the same. Has anyone used Kirkland and like it?


Pretty sure it is more or less the same, as others have mentioned. We did this too, and reading reviews indicated many people were curious. Kirkland brand is an absolute steal in contrast to name brand stuff.

Out of curiosity, when at a local bodega I checked the price of their Emfamil baby forumula. I knew it would be overpriced, but my jaw hit the floor at how much they were charging- thirty bucks for a little coke-can sized container of it! At least with WIC, needy families can get it directly from their branch centers so there's no need to be gouged.

Another great thing we discovered is that people that foster or fost-adopt babies also qualify for WIC, so if you have a medically fragile baby that needs some super expensive/obscure type of formula you are set, and for many families WIC covers them well enough that they have some left over to sell or (ideally) donate to other needy families.

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Not just mommy bloggers, lots of random strangers had OPINIONS on how my daughter was fed.



My wife couldn't produce breast milk, knew that ran in her family, and free young old porn still feels a little bit guilty that we formula feed. She still has Mommy hearing, so the last 10 months she'll wake up to new noises coming from the boy.

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Apr 25, 2003

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My mother and sister in laws had trouble producing so we thought my wife would have issues. She produces but not enough to feed our chunker. We supplement with formula, mostly during the night. Our daughter just a bit over 7 weeks and has gained a bit over 3 lbs, birth weight was just under 9 lbs. My wife feels bad that she can't provide enough but I keep telling her don't fret about it.

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Feb 25, 2002

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Yeah my wife has started drinking more water and trying not to stress-she feels a little bad that she can’t fully provide.

She’s going to call a Lactation consultant for some advice and maybe a home visit. My concern is I can never tell if he’s eating enough on breast feeding, but I guess there’s a thing where they will weigh him pre and post feeding to give us an idea. She’s ok supplementing with formula though, and that’s what we’ve done today and yesterday. Her pumping numbers are up today though so that’s good.

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Apr 25, 2008

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She’s going to call a Lactation consultant for some advice and maybe a home visit. My concern is I can never tell if he’s eating enough on breast feeding, but I guess there’s a thing where they will weigh him pre and post feeding to give us an idea.

If she’s feeding on demand, then your baby will get enough milk. There’s certainly nothing wrong with formula, but if she’s keen to breastfeed, then that’s cool too.

On demand means that feedings will be frequent, as your baby’s stomach is tiny still, so if it feels like the baby is always on the boob, it’s probably because they need to be.

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Yeah my wife has started drinking more water and trying not to stress-she feels a little bad that she can’t fully provide.

She’s going to call a Lactation consultant for some advice and maybe a home visit. My concern is I can never tell if he’s eating enough on breast feeding, but I guess there’s a thing where they will weigh him pre and post feeding to give us an idea. She’s ok supplementing with formula though, and that’s what we’ve done today and yesterday. Her pumping numbers are up today though so that’s good.

assuming your wife is feeding on demand then i think the feeling of an empty breast = the kiddo got enough

in my area there are weekly breastfeeding support groups where you go in, weigh baby, feed them while talking with other moms, then weigh baby again. they can then tell the transfer amount by the change in grams. super beneficial for mom and you get lots of neat data to track if you're into it. that went a long way to help assuage my wife's fears of whether she was producing enough

as everyone has said don't stress too much as you have tons of options

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Jun 1, 2002


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(thanks mommy bloggers!),

With this in mind, speaking as the non child-bearing partner, did anyone have a problem with (using terms from my work life here) expectation management of your partner for themselves.

My other half is an excellent mum, but (as best I can extract from her) envisioned breastfeeding exclusively. Frankly she's not the only one. Some of her friends even said they'd emergency drive breast milk too her if they had to. Another friend had to supliment temporarily and actually measured how much formula had been given after her supply became sufficient. It should be noted that day to day my partner is over it and accepts that mixed breast milk and formula is a great way forward, still a pang of guilt.

This is an example though. One of a few. When we travelled, the Car Seat Facebook groups were advising that the moment you hand over your car seat to be checked in you must treat it as if it's been in a car accident where a fire fighter used the jaws of life directly on it. Fortunately we were attending a baby first aid course (worth it if only to learn how to articulately describe the difference between gagging and chocking), where the teacher was a car seat tech instructor and said simple sturdy cardboard box will work (does not have to be the original box), with reasonable padding. Why does this bother me? I had this answer some time before while seeking out level headed solutions instead of feverishly repeated+amplified reposts of others.

Anyway, my questions are:
1. What can I do to help reduce the mummy blogger/group induced guilt or mob mentality?
2. When does this cross into post partum anxiety? (This thought occurred to me as I wrote this)
3. Best way to handle it in the moment? This is ostensibly motivated by love for our daughter. Strong argument.

Also, tip, save your car seat box to avoid the 3rd paragraph problem. Or get a double walled U-Haul cardboard box.

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Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

I think it helps to imagine that everyone is insecure and some of them just project that insecurity on others.

It isn't enough for them to just be happy with the choice they made, they aren't convinced they picked the right choice unless they tell other people they were doing it best rated porn tube wrong. I think this is why some people get so judgemental over this kind of stuff.

This is probably the source of a lot of annoying unhelpful advice our own parents can give sometimes; imagine the guilt of realizing you did something wrong when raising your baby. When they have a baby themselves, it would take a lot of humility to take a 'learn from my mistakes' approach. Many people will be too proud to cop to those kinds of things and double down in the form of unhelpful or outdated advice.

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cailleask
May 6, 2007



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With this in mind, speaking as the non child-bearing partner, did anyone have a problem with (using terms from my work life here) expectation management of your partner for themselves.

My other half is an excellent mum, but (as best I can extract from her) envisioned breastfeeding exclusively. Frankly she's not the only one. Some of her friends even said they'd emergency drive breast milk too her if they had to. Another friend had to supliment temporarily and actually measured how much formula had been given after her supply became sufficient. It should be noted that day to day my partner is over it and accepts that mixed breast milk and formula is a great way forward, still a pang of guilt.

This is an example though. One of a few. When we travelled, the Car Seat Facebook groups were advising that the moment you hand over your car seat to be checked in you must treat it as if it's been in a car accident where a fire fighter used the jaws of life directly on it. Fortunately we were attending a baby first aid course (worth it if only to learn how to articulately describe the difference between gagging and chocking), where the teacher was a car seat tech instructor and said simple sturdy cardboard box will work (does not have to be the original box), with reasonable padding. Why does this bother me? I had this answer some time before while seeking out level headed solutions instead of feverishly repeated+amplified reposts of others.

Anyway, my questions are:
1. What can I do to help reduce the mummy blogger/group induced guilt or mob mentality?
2. When does this cross into post partum anxiety? (This thought occurred to me as I wrote this)
3. Best way to handle it in the moment? This is ostensibly motivated by love for our daughter. Strong argument.

Also, tip, save your car seat box to avoid the 3rd paragraph problem. Or get a double walled U-Haul cardboard box.

I recently checked a high back booster home in it's original box in the belly of the plane.

That box was TRASHED on the other end. Ripped and gouged and shredded. I don't know wtf they did with it, but yikes. I'm glad it was in plastic and in its box.

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Jun 22, 2005

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I think we dodged the 4 month sleep regression somehow, but one has hit us now, at 7 months. She had been sleeping through the night like a champ since like 3 weeks of age, so this one has caught my wife and I somewhat unprepared.

Myopic in hindsight, but I was really hoping we would not need any sleep training at all.

What's a good book about sleep training to read right here and right now?

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Jan 28, 2003

THIRTEEN!

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Anyway, my questions are:
1. What can I do to help reduce the mummy blogger/group induced guilt or mob mentality?


Stay off blogs. Whats the point?

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hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?

Was there any particular kind of light/sun alarm you folks liked? We recently switched our toddler from a crib to a bed and now she's up and about too early.

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Heners_UK
Jun 1, 2002


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Stay off blogs. Whats the point?

So wrestle the iPad away from her? When considering what else that's used for, I'll be killed in my sleep.

I don't want to be too hard on all mother's blogs and groups, there is a lot of poo poo we don't know and in the moment, googling it to read a real persons experience can very be helpful. That said, the original problem nevertheless exists.

I have been encouraging level headed sources (e.g. the local health authority website, the NHS etc). Seems this isn't enough.

Btw, yes, I want it both ways.

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bollig
Apr 7, 2006

Never Forget.


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I think we dodged the 4 month sleep regression somehow, but one has hit us now, at 7 months. She had been sleeping through the night like a champ since like 3 weeks of age, so this one has caught my wife and I somewhat unprepared.

Myopic in hindsight, but I was really hoping we would not need any sleep training at all.

What's a good book about sleep training to read right here and right now?

I would just go through this cheatsheet: naked bitches having sex and then decide what to do. The only book I read was "The Happy Sleaper" and she advocates Fading, which works for a while but I wouldn't recommend in a sleep regression situation. But everything is online now, you can always purchase the associated books.

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Jan 9, 2012


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So wrestle the iPad away from her? When considering what else that's used for, I'll be killed in my sleep.

I don't want to be too hard on all mother's blogs and groups, there is a lot of poo poo we don't know and in the moment, googling it to read a real persons experience can very be helpful. That said, the original problem nevertheless exists.

I have been encouraging level headed sources (e.g. the local health authority website, the NHS etc). Seems this isn't enough.

Btw, yes, I want it both ways.

It’s essentially a confidence issue. Your partner will become more secure in her parenting with time and practice. She’ll start to see herself as an authority on Your Baby, and need less reassurance from the internet.

Two weeks after my baby was born I cried myself to sleep because I suddenly couldn’t stop worrying that my decision to use formula was going to turn my baby into some empathy-free bag of BPA-created tumors. He’s almost 10 months old now, and I can see that he’s healthy, happy, sweet, and boisterous.

The longer she is “exposed to the truth” of your own healthy, happy, perfectly fine baby, the less she will worry and wonder about whether she’s been doing it right.

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Jan 20, 2011


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She’s going to call a Lactation consultant for some advice and maybe a home visit. My concern is I can never tell if he’s eating enough on breast feeding, but I guess there’s a thing where they will weigh him pre and post feeding to give us an idea. She’s ok supplementing with formula though, and that’s what we’ve done today and yesterday. Her pumping numbers are up today though so that’s good.

We were kinda freaking out at one point because the kid was nursing for a very short period of time. There were other bits, but that was the root cause, and having someone come out and weigh the baby and realize she really was sucking down 3-5oz that fast was super comforting and did a lot for our peace of mind when we were tired, overwhelmed, and generally not in a good place to make reasonable decisions ourselves. It was money well spent.

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life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007



Well our guy had just gotten over a cold and was fine for like a week and able to go to daycare...then he got his next round of shots and they added a flu shot and he's got a lot of congestion, back to throwing up after feedings and has developed a nasty cough and low-grade fever. Daycare is closed today anyway, but the poor fella is definitely not feeling well and letting us know it. The cough makes us a little nervous and we've got my mother-in-law and my mom today to help with him while we work, but drat. What a beating over the last month.

Luckily, he's over 6mo now so we can give him Tylenol which seems to help. The little guy just has trouble breathing. Making things worse was we built a fire last night in the fireplace. We had him down for the night and he wasn't stirring, but the CM detector went off and it is loving loud and we can't turn it off or silence it for some reason, so it went on for 20 minutes at one stretch and miraculously he didn't wake up. The second time it went off for 30 more minutes straight, we even opened doors to get the smoke out and I couldn't put out the fire without making it worse and I told my wife to take him outside for fresh air. We were super nervous he had inhaled smoke but he seems okay. He did wake up when I was vacuuming up some ash when my wife brought him back inside saying it was starting to rain, and he didn't sleep well the rest of the night.

So, moral of the story: be really careful about starting fires in the fireplace, make sure the flue is TOTALLY open if you must start one. This was a learning experience and I'd never forgive myself if something had happened due to this.

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virinvictus
Nov 10, 2014


Any advice for a recent one year old who won’t eat and goes into hour long screaming fits because I tried to feed him?

Girlfriend kind of forced a switch from formula to homo milk at 11 months and now, at just shy of 13 months, I’m more concerned about his eating habits.

But he’s become extremely picky, especially about textures. And one misintroduction to a bad texture, and even if I find food he likes, he screams throughout the meal and usually throws up.

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life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007



Yep, our kid got RSV. We thought it was vaccine-related, but our doctor said no, this isn't normal to vaccine reactions, wanted to see him the next day. Wife took him in and before the doc went in to examine him the daycare called and wanted to know what he was sick with (we marked him absent due to being sick in Tadpoles) because another infant in his classroom was out with RSV as well.

What a beating. Poor little guy is being a champ and mustering up some smiles and even talking a bit, mostly when we bring him to the bathroom to run the shower and get some steam going for him. We're doing everything we can to keep him comfortable and happy.

In the meantime, my sis-in-law said when their son got RSV they used Vicks vapor tablets in his humidifier, but our son's doc said not to as it can irritate his airways. Has anyone used these? Do they hurt more than they help, or do they help more than they hurt? Knowing there's nothing we can really do other than suck his snot out, give him steam, use his humidifier at night and help him sleep upright (usually on us, he's been really adamant about being on us most times lately) in conjunction with Tylenol or Advil, I was hoping some goon parents might have something else they've done with their RSV sick kiddos.

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