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Turtlicious
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Thank RGBRIOT for writing the OP I stole:


There are several goons who are fairly knowledgeable about sex related things, and have shown themselves more than happy to help answer questions. This is the thread for that.

That being said, there's no substitute for a real professional. Should any of your questions be a serious health risk nature, please do us all a favor. Don't bother asking your questions here, seek the help of a professional. No one's well being should be decided by internet users. You know we're mostly a bunch of assholes right?

Lastly, save the bullshit. People need to feel comfortable to talk about this subject, and as such we'd like to provide at least a modicum of respect and civility. If you can't be respectful to posters, then you had better be hilarious in your disrespect.


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Birth Control Megathread
- Compare notes and maybe even girlie parts with other users to find the best BC option for you and your love oven. This is also where you can go to ask if you are pregnant.

That's about it, goons ruin everything.

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We all dislike them, and we all know why we should use them. The good news is they’re not inch-thick rubber socks anymore. You can get brands that are thin and still reliable, such as Crown and Kimono. Even if you have a micro penis or a dick like Sarah Jessica Parker (So HUGE!), there are condoms for you. Several companies even offer custom sized condoms, or specific fitting kits. Google custom fit condoms for more info.

If you’re allergic to latex, there are great new options like Lifestyles Skyn. Just remember to note: You can’t combine oil-based lube with latex condoms and goatskin condoms don’t prevent STDs.

Should you need further assistance with picking out the best brand for your needs, mention where you live (generally speaking) as some brands are only sold in certain countries. Also,
Conveniently, here is a ton of info.


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There are a ton of good options for lube out there. Using it is normal and doesn't mean there is something wrong with either you or your SO.

Here's a general run down of lube types, issues, and uses:

Water-based lube is safe with condoms, but watch out for anything that contains glycerin, which can cause yeast infections if it goes near a vulva. Oil-based lubes aren’t a great idea since they can’t be used with condoms. Silicone lubes can’t be used with silicone toys, but are a good (and very slippery) option for almost anything else. We get a lot of recommendations for Maximus (which is thicker and ideal for anal), Liquid Silk (thinner version of the same), and Gun Oil. Several other goons have also recommended Swiss Navy and Pjur for general use. (Is that the correct spelling?)


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DO NOT POST THIS. It always starts a ridiculous debate that ends up saying the same thing over and over again. In order to skip that circlejerk here’s a simple form to let you know how to handle this situation.

Step 1: Did they ask?
NO: Keep your mouth shut.
YES: Be honest.

Step 2: Do you have a good reason to tell them?
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Example of a good reason to tell them: “I’m an extreme hemophiliac and my hymen is thicker than the hull of the USS Nimitz. There will be blood.”


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- Lots of lube should be used; thicker lubes are usually recommended. A good amount of time should be spent warming up the anus. This means working up slowly with one lubed finger, and slowly adding fingers until your partner is loosened up enough. Finally, insertion should be very slow. Take your time and don’t rush anything. The receiving party should be in control of the insertion as they are best equipped to know how their rear end in a top hat is handling it.

- Don’t put any pressure or heavy expectations on this -- it’s not necessarily a one-hour or one-day project. If it takes weeks to work up from fingers to toys to a penis, that’s totally fine.


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Stop masturbating and watching porn. If you have been jerking off regularly for a while, you may have desensitized your penis. Your hand can give a lot more pressure/force/speed than anything else. The good news is that if you cut out masturbation and porn for a couple of weeks, your penis will regain its sensitivity. If you’ve already tried that, try it for longer. Seriously.


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Are you comfortable? Mentally calm? Have you ever come from vaginal stimulation on your own? Everyone comes differently and in different ways; it’s normal to need something specific, and it’s normal for penis-in-vagina sex not to work on its own. If you don’t come from vaginal penetration alone, that’s incredibly normal and totally okay. While having PIV sex, you can always rub your clit, use a toy, or whatever else at the same time -- or beforehand or afterward! Communicate with your partner about what feels good, how you usually come, etc. Try not to stress.


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Lots of people have difficulty orgasming from oral sex, especially at first. First, you have to be able to provide your partner with feedback about what is working and what is not. If something feels good, be sure to give some kind of feed back. Likewise, if you need your partner to do less of something or go softer, tell them. Communication is the most important part of sex. Finally, relax. You really have to let yourself go and not worry about anything, including taking too long to cum.


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- Many women enjoy penetration while being eaten out. If your SO is that type it may be rather pleasurable to finger her vagina or rear end in a top hat.
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- Once she starts to move, breath heavily, flush, arch her back, flex her abdominal muscles, and/or moan you know you've got it right and stick with what's working.


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Communicate! Many guys have differing taste in what they like when it comes to bj’s. There’s nothing wrong with asking what he’s into.
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- Shaving can be tricky. Some people swear by it, some people swear at it. Go slowly, use a mirror or a partner, and have plenty of shaving cream and ingrown-prevention lotion (they make genital-specific versions that may be more helpful). If you’re just starting out, shave in the direction of the hair, and only do one pass per area; it won’t be perfectly smooth, but it’ll be a lot less irritated -- you can work up to doing more later.

- Trimming is a convenient middle ground. If your hair is really long, use scissors to trim until it’s under an inch. Then you can use a small electric shaver with a short blade guard. No stubble, no red bumps, and no crazy itchy regrowth.

- Waxing: someone else should write about this oh god.

- Laser hair removal is the most expensive up-front, but also the most permanent. Go to a clinic (overseen by a doctor, please!) and get zapped. It hurts, and it’ll probably take about six sessions before being smooth for good, but the results should last for years, if not forever.

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Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

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- Talk to them! Everyone’s libido is different. Stress from school, work, moving, and large changes in your life really effect your libido and can take awhile to return to normal. If your sex life is getting slower and slower think about any stress issues that are affecting you or your partner.

- If it’s not a minor difference, and it’s not temporary, it may not be something you can resolve.

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Addition thread notes:

"I think I may have been assaulted."

Sporkupine posted:

Sexual partners reserve the right to change their mind at any point during sexual activity. If one person says no, and the other does not listen, then it is assault.

Weather or not a victim wishes to seek legal action, they should call a girls in shower porn immediately to discuss options, along with going to the hospital for a surprise sex kit (its more than just swabs for DNA, it also looks at bruising, tearing and other signs of you and your body not wanting what happened). I also suggest checking out this aylar lie porn download, which has lots and lots of information about sexual assault and victims.


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Sperg Victorious posted:

Order from Amazon and it'll look like the regular Amazon box. Or have them tell UPS to hold the package and you'll pick it up as the delivery center.

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Check out the Planned Parenthood website for accurate, up to date, and unbiased information about HPV in men and women: linky link. I suggest reading all the sections on that page, but "does HPV cause cancer" and "how can I prevent getting or spreading HPV" are the two most useful sections for those who don't know much about it.

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Check out this resource. It should be helpful to you.

Should you see anything in need of fixing in the OP please let me know. Thank you.

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Many goons have reported rubbing a little bengay onto your balls before sex works very well for this, the higher temperature increases blood flow into the penis.

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Try incorporating something easy to clean up like peanut butter into your love life, this will get your dog girlfriend interested in a tasty high protein snack!

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I mean come on, we all know goons aren't sexhavers, this is pointless. (except me, I'm the only one)

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I mean come on, we all know goons aren't sexhavers, this is pointless. (except me, I'm the only one)

TBF: You are the best one

Anyways, for a question to get this megathread started, what are some good Cunnilingus books. I've read she comes first, and I'm looking for more books in the same vein.

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Well now that I am actually in a position to use this thread, I'll bite.

So I am a pretty tall guy. She is kind of short. We've had some difficulties with some positions and I think we could use some direction. She's tired of being on top, I think.

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Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.

It's a bit spendy, but try estella warren naked pics? They make a few different things like it, a lot of them are good for helping you get the right angle in cases like that. The Ramp is good too, it's just just also pricier. (media player porn clips are some reviews of a few of their products)

Both links are NSFW, obviously.

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I'm 6'1'' my girlfriend is like 5'4'', I just throw a pillow under her and call it a day, or throw her on the bed and then stand.

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Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

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Not a personal experience, but test that poo poo somewhere else first before applying liberally to sensitive areas. Some people are allergic.

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Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

Frankly, the idea of a chemical that dissolves hair being near my cock is enough to frighten me off the concept. I'll trim, but the various methods of hair removal for one's genitals all make me think that, if there is a god, it wants some amount of hair to remain.

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DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

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Did the old thread get gassed? I was like 1/3rd of the way into it reading a page or two occasionally and wasn't at the kink stuff that stirred up poo poo in the old thread. I can't find it in archives either.

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Did the old thread get gassed? I was like 1/3rd of the way into it reading a page or two occasionally and wasn't at the kink stuff that stirred up poo poo in the old thread. I can't find it in archives either.

It got gassed for extremely racist comments on like the last 1.5 pages.

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Aww, so I had my slant on. Lay off me!


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Did the old thread get gassed? I was like 1/3rd of the way into it reading a page or two occasionally and wasn't at the kink stuff that stirred up poo poo in the old thread. I can't find it in archives either.

FYAD started trolling it and people fell for the trap and no one could handle it.

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Nov 14, 2005

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Well now that I am actually in a position to use this thread, I'll bite.

So I am a pretty tall guy. She is kind of short. We've had some difficulties with some positions and I think we could use some direction. She's tired of being on top, I think.

I'm a pretty short lady and (like previously mentioned) I've always found it works well if I'm on the bed and he's standing. But maybe you have more of a height difference than we do, because I haven't found many positions other than from behind to be that much of a problem.

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Dec 21, 2005

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out in a war fought with the atomic bomb. Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.



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Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

Back in boarding school, I remember a guy got trucked off to the hospital when a bit of Nair got into his urethra. He was hauled out of the dorm screaming in pain, and was the laughingstock of the school for several months. While the last bit probably doesn't apply to anyone here, I don't think chancing a hospital trip is worth the attempt.

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Sep 16, 2012





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Lots of questions! Tell me more about dental dams. What are they and how do you make them/buy them? Do you just spit them out when you're done? Are latex gloves as safe as latex condoms? (As in, if my dude uses a latex glove to digitally stimulate me, will I have some sort of horrible reaction?) Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

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Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

My wife used nuvaring for a couple of months (got off of it due to side effects and cost), it never really bothered me when I rubbed against it but its going to be a massive case of YMMV.

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My wife used nuvaring for a couple of months (got off of it due to side effects and cost), it never really bothered me when I rubbed against it but its going to be a massive case of YMMV.

Also you can take it out for sex. My doctor said up to three hours a day without it is ok. So what side effects did your wife have, can I ask? (I just got it because of BC pill side effects so I am curious.)

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Lots of questions! Tell me more about dental dams. What are they and how do you make them/buy them? Do you just spit them out when you're done? Are latex gloves as safe as latex condoms? (As in, if my dude uses a latex glove to digitally stimulate me, will I have some sort of horrible reaction?) Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

A brenda song naked video is basically like a flat sheet of latex that you can use as a barrier during things like oral sex. It doesn't go in your mouth at all, so you don't have to spit them out. I've never tried it myself, but I've heard in a pinch you can make something like it just by cutting a condom up the side and spreading it flat.

As long as they're medical grade, latex gloves should be fine to use unless you have a sensitivity to latex in general. I've never used them for sex, but gloves have never been a problem during things like pelvic exams.

I can't speak for how distracting/not distracting the NuvaRing is, but like the others said it is safe to take it out temporarily for sex if the ring is a problem.

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So what side effects did your wife have, can I ask? (I just got it because of BC pill side effects so I am curious.)

She starting have emotional meltdowns (uncontrollable crying and self-deprecation) over really minor stuff, like making a wrong turn or breaking a glass. Never happened before she was on it and stopped within a week of her going off of it.

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Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

I've never had anyone comment on my nuvaring back when I used it. I have, however heard that the spermacide strips that you can buy and insert before sex feel like a half-assed condom and are distracting as hell.

I have a question of my own though. I just bought a new vibrator (a hitachi. Everyone has been telling me it's strong as hell and that's my main issue with my others) and was testing it out today to get a feel for it. After the first round, every other time today has resulted in me getting to close to orgasm (while keeping it focused on my clit) and then just squirting everywhere. However, it's a massive amount of liquid for me (like easily a cup to two) and I'm not really a squirter to begin with. Is it possible that the vibrator is stimulating my urethra or bladder or something and causing me to pee instead? That would have been my guess for the first time, but it's happened the past three times in a row in the past hour or so, so I'm at a loss. Is there an easy way to tell the difference between the two?

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Yea, but my pee is weird enough as is. I drink crazy amounts of water so it's normally nearly clear and scentless anyway. Hence my confusion.

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Don't wait it out, either go see a doctor or buy an OTC medicated vagina cream and slather it on your balls until it goes away.

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Sep 18, 2003


I am a college student conducting research about open relationships/swinging. I am currently administering a survey which some of you may find interesting. It is completely anonymous, and you don't have to be in an open relationship to take it, or even know anything about them. It will only take a minute or two to complete, and I'd love to collect some goon-data, so please feel free to take this survey. If there's a decent amount of interest, I'll come back here and post about what I find when the survey is over.

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Did you get IRB approval for that study? I don't see the info on the web site...

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I am a college student conducting research about open relationships/swinging. I am currently administering a survey which some of you may find interesting. It is completely anonymous, and you don't have to be in an open relationship to take it, or even know anything about them. It will only take a minute or two to complete, and I'd love to collect some goon-data, so please feel free to take this survey. If there's a decent amount of interest, I'll come back here and post about what I find when the survey is over.

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Thanks!
This is a mess. Some of the choices read "click to type choice 3," there are options missing from other questions . . . you should have someone go over it.

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Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")

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Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")


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Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")

homemade sex tape videos is really good stuff. I never found a brand I liked until I tried it out on a whim, because the packaging wasn't all INTIMATE SENSATIONS BACKDOOR PLEASURE. The bottles are awesome too - easy to use in the moment, have a locking top that prevent accidental disposal in your bag or whatever and I've never had one leak. My girlfriend loves it too and she was another lube-hater.

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Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")

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This is a mess. Some of the choices read "click to type choice 3," there are options missing from other questions . . . you should have someone go over it.

That is a drastically terrible survey. So many leading answers and questions with implied correct answers that the author is obviously fishing for. I can't believe they got a professor to sign off on it in any way.

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It's probably for some small project in a pyschology class or some poo poo, not a dissertation, thesis or otherwise Actually Important paper. Which is why it doesn't have the approvals mentioned in previous posts.

I would give you an F for that survey because it sucks real bad.

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I'd like to take a survey about my open relationship but not a terrible one.

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I hope this isn't too big of a derail, but how did you guys go about discussing an open relationship?

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So this is not a question but it happened - I managed to pull/strain my PC muscles during sex. Didn't even know that was possible. In case you were wondering what it would be like to experience mind-blowing post-coital endorphins and kicked-squarely-in-the-balls agony at the same time... Yeah.

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