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smoothlovah
Apr 4, 2011


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The perineal pain could be referred pain from the corona, if present. The only reason I would hazard that guess is because most of the people I have known with vulvodynia had it on first penetration, not after a while of sex being fine. But. My pool is not a statistically significant sample, so this might well be a common variant of vulvodynia!

Hope that she can see a GYN soon, and that the doc will be helpful. Pain sucks.

As someone with an unfortunate case of vulvodynia coupled with vaginismus, I don't always get pain when I have sex. It varies when I do get pain; sometimes only to begin with until I get warmed up, sometimes it's fine on initial penetration and sometimes only once I get going. That could possibly be because if I get bored, distracted or worried about it hurting. I'll dry up almost the instant I start feeling pain, and the friction with a condom on definitely leaves me with bleeding, tearing, and a burning sensation, more so if the guy has comfort issues from a tight foreskin and it takes a few goes to penetrate comfortably for him.

I highly recommend her seeing a gyno; mine referred me to a pelvic floor physio and I don't have pain as often now, and when I do get it, I know how to deal with it. For me, it involves some gentle finger stretching, plenty of lube, and as a last resort ditching the condom (I have an IUD and insist on my partners getting STI tests prior to any hats-off action.)

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Buff Baby
Jan 7, 2008

As a human being, I'm embarrassed.


My boyfriend has trouble cumming in the morning, it leaves him really frustrated whenever he leaves for work. I'm thinking that maybe he just worries too much about finishing in time.

Are there any tips for what I can do? I normally go down on him but after a while of vaginal sex, he loses his erection. I don't make him feel bad about it either but he gets really frustrated and I'm worried it's bad for our relationship.

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hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004



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My boyfriend has trouble cumming in the morning, it leaves him really frustrated whenever he leaves for work. I'm thinking that maybe he just worries too much about finishing in time.

Are there any tips for what I can do? I normally go down on him but after a while of vaginal sex, he loses his erection. I don't make him feel bad about it either but he gets really frustrated and I'm worried it's bad for our relationship.

He's probably just worried and really distracted by the time limit. Does he just have this problem on work days? At any rate, plenty of couples have sex ajust fter work and do fine, and getting no morning sex is better than getting frustrating morning sex. That said, most guys I've talked to finish fastest by masturbating, so if time gets tight, you could finish with a porno-style facial.

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Buff Baby
Jan 7, 2008

As a human being, I'm embarrassed.


He normally doesn't have this problem on the weekends, which is why I think it's the time limit affecting him. Sometimes he jacks off into my mouth in the morning because I can't get him to cum orally but that means that I don't get to have that much fun.

He's a lot more relaxed and happy after he cums though, so maybe I'll just make a small sacrifice and just have him jack off on me like you said.

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Smashurbanipal
Sep 12, 2009
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If you can't get him off with your mouth and he starts pushing rope after a period of vaginal sex he might be suffering from "death grip syndrome". Tell him to quit jerking it so hard/often.

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Buff Baby
Jan 7, 2008

As a human being, I'm embarrassed.


Haha he's actually stopped jacking off after he met me because we have sex constantly and he prefers it to masturbating. Afternoon and night time sex is great between us, but morning sex just doesn't do it for him.

I think it's more of a mental issue, but I'm not sure how to best handle it especially since he gets so frustrated.

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stratdax
Sep 14, 2006


Gotta wake up earlier. More time to do it, less stress about rushing around.

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hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004



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He normally doesn't have this problem on the weekends, which is why I think it's the time limit affecting him. Sometimes he jacks off into my mouth in the morning because I can't get him to cum orally but that means that I don't get to have that much fun.

He's a lot more relaxed and happy after he cums though, so maybe I'll just make a small sacrifice and just have him jack off on me like you said.

Yeah, it sounds just like stress / distractions stopping him from getting fully into the moment. I mean, if he can cum from oral/vaginal stimulation that day great, but if not you might have to. . . . take one on the chin!

Plus, just knowing he will get to cum one way or the other will probably help him worry less, which should help right there!

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Buff Baby
Jan 7, 2008

As a human being, I'm embarrassed.


I think that's a really good suggestion, I'll bring it up with him and see what he thinks! I tell him all the time that I don't care if he cums, but I think he's more frustrated that he wants to cum rather than me thinking badly of him.

Sometimes we do get up earlier if he happens to wake up randomly, but I try not to affect his sleep too much because he works full time. Whenever we do wake up earlier, there's a higher chance of him cumming rather than no chance at all I guess.

Thanks for all the advice so far, really appreciated since I was really lost on what to do!

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mmm11105
Apr 27, 2010


I have a condom sizing question. I have a rather girthy penis (just over 5.75" around the shaft), and therefore regular condoms are way too tight. Based on what I read online, the only real options for me that are available around store where I live (rural-ish Canada) are either the Magnum XL or possibly the regular Magnum.

However, I don't have a very long penis (just over 6" long). Will the Magnums be too long? And should I go for the XL or the normal?

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DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

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I have a condom sizing question. I have a rather girthy penis (just over 5.75" around the shaft), and therefore regular condoms are way too tight. Based on what I read online, the only real options for me that are available around store where I live (rural-ish Canada) are either the Magnum XL or possibly the regular Magnum.

However, I don't have a very long penis (just over 6" long). Will the Magnums be too long? And should I go for the XL or the normal?

Condoms are sized for girth, not length. If you are wide but not very long the same condom works fine, you just don't unroll it all the way.

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Techno Remix
Feb 13, 2012



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I have a condom sizing question. I have a rather girthy penis (just over 5.75" around the shaft), and therefore regular condoms are way too tight. Based on what I read online, the only real options for me that are available around store where I live (rural-ish Canada) are either the Magnum XL or possibly the regular Magnum.

However, I don't have a very long penis (just over 6" long). Will the Magnums be too long? And should I go for the XL or the normal?

For what it's worth I'm sized somewhat similarly. Back when my wife and I used condoms I'd usually go for a Magnum since standards were just too snug. I didn't notice much of a difference in terms of length but it did feel like it had a much more comfortable fit around the base of my shaft. YMMV obviously. I wouldn't go for the XLs quite yet (I've never personally tried them since they seems kinda pointless) but I'd say it's worth giving the regular Magnums a shot to see if it's more comfortable for you.

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Oct 8, 2012

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Violet_Sky
Dec 5, 2011

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I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way.

How do I masturbate normal?

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neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.

Hard to say without knowing what you're doing. It's not like you can do it wrong, but you can definitely get it more right.

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DoctorX
Dec 11, 2013



I think you should just do whatever feels natural and not worry about matching up to "normal people" standards. The point of masturbation is pleasuring yourself, and putting pressure on yourself or worrying about anything won't help you accomplish that.

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Nov 24, 2013

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I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way.

How do I masturbate normal?

Did you try some toys? What's your technique in general? What are you thinking about? Did you ever manage to do it?

You could try to change the location entirely; heard some women like the shower or water in general, maybe watching or doing some ~special~ stuff to force your arousal to be nice to you.
Also, I know some women who simply aren't able to masturbate in general. They describe it a similar way you do and they didn't found a workaround and/or didn't want to, as regular sex was better.

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Hydrolith
Oct 30, 2009



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I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way.

How do I masturbate normal?

From your description, your vagina is in fact working perfectly normally. Relax. Relax relax relax relax relax. Don't worry about climaxing. don't put any pressure on yourself to come. Just do what feels good, without thinking that you have to make yourself come. If you're not worrying about it, the chances of it happening improve.

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Kimmalah
Nov 14, 2005

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I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way.

How do I masturbate normal?

Probably your best bet is to try and get away from the idea that other people are normal while you aren't somehow. And not putting pressure on yourself to orgasm. In my experience, thinking you "have" to cum is basically a surefire way to kill the mood and make sure you never get there. Just relax, do whatever feels good to you. If you orgasm, great! If you don't it doesn't make you broken or abnormal, just someone who was having an off day or someone who's still figuring out what works for them.

I realize it's all easier said than done, but really you just have to kind of get out of your own head and enjoy the moment.

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Gladstone
Dec 13, 2010


My girlfriend has vaginismus, so we're going to see a sex therapist next week and figure out how to eventually solve the problem. I'm pretty certain the cause of it is due to childhood trauma, but I was thinking of getting her a cum on pussy movie as well.

Does anyone with experience with vaginsmus have any advice on how to overcome it?

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AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



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It's really important to talk with your GYN first before using vaginal dilators.

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Dec 29, 2009

I need to go scrap some money together cause my avatar is just sad.


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I know I always keep suggesting expensive alternatives to things, but I've heard nothing but good about the nude sex free videos (link nsfw) as being the absolute best squirting platform you can get.

I agree with this they are amazing especialy for sex in the livingroom so you don't soak the carpet. Also if this is really really a big problem throw 15 bucks a month aside for a waterproof mattress cover. Still have to change sheets but saves your matress. Some of those things can be expensive.

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Mar 24, 2005



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My girlfriend has vaginismus, so we're going to see a sex therapist next week and figure out how to eventually solve the problem. I'm pretty certain the cause of it is due to childhood trauma, but I was thinking of getting her a brazilian wax and sex as well.

Does anyone with experience with vaginsmus have any advice on how to overcome it?

Patience and yep the doctor. There is always slow anal if you are both receptive to that angle. It takes a little more 'skill' to achieve the desired result, as long as you subscribe to the idea that 'it's all interconnected down there' and find the positions that work.

I have run into this a couple times over my life, and nothing but patience and relaxation and lots of love can get the flower to open.

If it helps, things could be far far worse off. I met my wife who was suffering from acute best cartoon porn site Acute as in she was bedridden for 18 months, (considering suicide a LOT) left her house to see her specialist in NYC every three months, and thought she could never have normal sex again. She had choice of about a handful of high end doctors that could even treat her case in the US.

After about 1 year, falling in madly love, and a ton of cunnilingus, we made love normally for the first time. Her doctor, mother and father, were amazed and delighted, and agreed that something about falling in love and... paying close attention to her vagina, played a part in the recession of all her -extremely- painful syndrome.

To this day, they use a teen's size speculum to use during her examinations. This 80 year old Princeton doctor drives to NYC to take care of the hopeless cases like my wives. He is a saint.

She still 'feels razor blades inside her' and flare ups from time to time, but we make the best of it. Been together 3-4 years now, and while there are ups and downs, one session may leave her without the ability to have vaginal sex for another week.

She is a amazing at anal, orgasims just as fast as vaginal so there is no real impact to our regular sex life.

This one was a miracle according to the main Dr at Presbyterian hospital in Manhattan. More like a miracle given to a pair madly in love..

Married happily ever after, working through the day to day issues we have to face.

She is worth every worry, and high end doctor visit in Manhattan. I am a lucky man.

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Shine
Feb 26, 2007

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My girlfriend has vaginismus, so we're going to see a sex therapist next week and figure out how to eventually solve the problem. I'm pretty certain the cause of it is due to childhood trauma, but I was thinking of getting her a extremely rough sex videos as well.

Does anyone with experience with vaginsmus have any advice on how to overcome it?

Obviously talk to a doctor, but in lieu of the vag kit you can treat it more like doing anal, with lots of spitting, slapping, etc.

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angry climber
Dec 6, 2010


I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that?

Thanks.

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Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority


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I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that?

Thanks.

Nobody wants to hear about your kink, especially not after you abandoned your TFLC log.

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Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority


Please work out.

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Feb 11, 2007
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This thread has always been fine with questions like "recommend a comfortable pair of handcuffs" or "choking is dangerous, right?" But nobody wants to hear about it if you want to eat people or poo poo in diapers; that's how the last thread went down in flames (also not a good fetish).

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Kink questions are allowed here, yeah. The title refers to one specific incident. Don't mind it.

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that's how the last thread went down in flames (also not a good fetish).

It went down in flames because it was a very blatant troll post from a FYAD poster and goons just couldn't resist taking the bait because they're loving goons.

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Jun 2, 2004



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I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that?

Thanks.

If it's a more technical question, like how to do something safely or where to buy things, that's fine. Just don't talk about it for the sake of talking about how kinky you are.

The answer to your question is probably go slow, check in frequently, and use lots of lube. Just playing the odds here.

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Dynastes
Oct 16, 2008


Are there any warming type lubes that work with non latex condoms? The girlfriend is a fan of KY yours and mine, but we've been using Skyns as latex and I are not always friends.

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Does anyone with experience with vaginsmus have any advice on how to overcome it?
Patience, communication, trust and asking your doctor for advice.

(Ours, incidentally, recommended lidocaine spray. While generally using anesthetics for sex stuff is a really Bad Idea, because pain exists for a reason, it worked like a charm in our case. After a couple of sessions, her brain/body apparently reclassified PiV sex as "OK", so we were able to do it normally from that point on)

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mediadave
Sep 8, 2011


What are people's favourite non-water based lubricants? Primarily for vaginal intercourse. (Condoms aren't an issue, we're exclusive and she's on the pill).

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hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004



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What are people's favourite non-water based lubricants? Primarily for vaginal intercourse. (Condoms aren't an issue, we're exclusive and she's on the pill).

JO brand silicone is my favorite, but if you prefer a thinner lube, Pjur is also very good. I'll say I actually prefer water-based lube for ordinary vaginal intercourse (recommending same brands), since then I don't have to worry about toys, and natural vaginal lubrication can take over.

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neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.

Sliquid's my go-to lube brand and they have a couple nice silicone ones. Silver, I think, is the main one.

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Vogler
Feb 6, 2009


Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex.

I have trouble maintaining an erection while penetrating, unless the girl gives me a helping hand. Maybe the pressure on my penis is too much, or maybe my aim is off, or both. Today a random hook-up wanted to have sex doggy style, and I was just chanceless.

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Mar 31, 2011


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Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex.

I have trouble maintaining an erection while penetrating, unless the girl gives me a helping hand. Maybe the pressure on my penis is too much, or maybe my aim is off, or both. Today a random hook-up wanted to have sex doggy style, and I was just chanceless.

Just reach down and help yourself. Rub her clit a bit while you're down there.

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hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004



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Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex.

I have trouble maintaining an erection while penetrating, unless the girl gives me a helping hand. Maybe the pressure on my penis is too much, or maybe my aim is off, or both. Today a random hook-up wanted to have sex doggy style, and I was just chanceless.

How much porn do you watch? It's a not-uncommon issue that one can have trouble keeping an erection or cumming during sex if they consume a lot of porn, since the visual stimulation isn't there. If you watch it every time you yank it, the good news is, you just need to not watch porn for a week or two, and your brain will recalibrate what stimuli lead to orgasm.

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Feb 26, 2007

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How much porn do you watch? It's a not-uncommon issue that one can have trouble keeping an erection or cumming during sex if they consume a lot of porn, since the visual stimulation isn't there. If you watch it every time you yank it, the good news is, you just need to not watch porn for a week or two, and your brain will recalibrate what stimuli lead to orgasm.

Alternately, surround your bed with mirrors.

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Kimmalah
Nov 14, 2005

Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.




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Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex.

I have trouble maintaining an erection while penetrating, unless the girl gives me a helping hand. Maybe the pressure on my penis is too much, or maybe my aim is off, or both. Today a random hook-up wanted to have sex doggy style, and I was just chanceless.

If you mean you can't just like stick it in there without using your hands or something, that's not exactly unusual. There's nothing wrong with guiding it in with your hand (or hers).

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