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Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

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If this was Star Wars that comet would already have a six book series with a critically acclaimed video game tie in.

But since this is Star Trek, that comet will be a Trojan horse for some obscure TOS race that's now threatening the federation and only Picard, Janeway, Ezri, and Chief Engineer Wesley can stop it.


Modern Trek novels are the most wallpaper paste white bread plot by numbers bores in all of sci-fi lit.

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But since this is Star Trek, that comet will be a Trojan horse for some obscure TOS race that's now threatening the federation and only Picard, Janeway, Ezri, and Chief Engineer Wesley can stop it.


Modern Trek novels are the most wallpaper paste white bread plot by numbers bores in all of sci-fi lit.

I read one of Shatner's the one where he brought Kirk back to life via the Borg or something? It was so bad it wasn't even memorable.

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When I was a kid I thought the TNG/X-Men crossover was awesome as hell. That's my secret childhood shame.

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Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

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Modern Trek novels are the most wallpaper paste white bread plot by numbers bores in all of sci-fi lit.

The old Trek novels from the 80s, on the other hand, were... well, okay, they were also pretty bad overall. But they were bad in tremendously different ways from book to book, and there was even the occasional good one in the mix. I remember really liking free ffm sex pics Dreadnought! and halle berry in sex Battlestations!.

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When I was a kid I thought the TNG/X-Men crossover was awesome as hell. That's my secret childhood shame.

I'm sure you have many more.

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Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

It's a little bitty place.

...Okay, I'll just wipe it off, that's all. Just a little town.

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I read one of Shatner's the one where he brought Kirk back to life via the Borg or something? It was so bad it wasn't even memorable.

He beat up/hosed everyone else in the galaxy, then turned off all the borgs by throwing a "borg on/ borg off" switch on the borg homeworld.

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I'm sure you have many more.

I also liked the Young James Bond series, okay??? Leave me alooooooone

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He beat up/hosed everyone else in the galaxy, then turned off all the borgs by throwing a "borg on/ borg off" switch on the borg homeworld.

Jesus Christ really? No wonder I blocked it out.

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Dec 22, 2009

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That sounds like something Kirk would do. After he slept with the Queen, of course.

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Dec 20, 2003



The Shatnerverse is basically 'Jim Kirk is better than everyone else suck it Picard.'

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Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

It's a little bitty place.

...Okay, I'll just wipe it off, that's all. Just a little town.

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Jesus Christ really? No wonder I blocked it out.

He got to command a jet-black porn celebrity look alikes Defiant-class ship rechristened the shemale phone sex numbers Enterprise for the duration of his mission.

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Aug 15, 2001

Don't it make your dick bust concrete to be in the same room with two noble, selfless public servants.

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I read one of Shatner's the one where he brought Kirk back to life via the Borg or something? It was so bad it wasn't even memorable.

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The only thing stopping this from being a literal Mary Sue is Kirk's rank.

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I also liked the Young James Bond series, okay??? Leave me alooooooone

Those were nowhere near as good as Young Indiana Jones.

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God drat it Shatner.

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He got to command a jet-black leah remini free nude Defiant-class ship rechristened the mickey james nude pictures Enterprise for the duration of his mission.

I can't remember if that was the one where he married a smoking hot half-Klingon-half-Romulan chick, or was that one of the other ones.

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Jul 31, 2013

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To be fair, if you were a straight man who spent the last few decades being paired up with your male co-star, you might want to aggressively assert your heterosexuality to your legions of followers too.

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Jan 23, 2008

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The old Trek novels from the 80s, on the other hand, were... well, okay, they were also pretty bad overall. But they were bad in tremendously different ways from book to book, and there was even the occasional good one in the mix. I remember really liking bai ling nude photo Dreadnought! and legal child porn site Battlestations!.

I distinctly remember Dreadnought! because of the cool drawing of the TOS assault shuttlecraft in the back and the fact the whole thing was centred around an awful mary sue.

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Nov 22, 2007

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I loved the Shatnerverse books. I'm a big Kirk fan so the were just awesome to me.

Those books make more sense than Troi beating Data at chess.

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Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

I still can't believe they cast Spock as me. Spock! Can you imagine?

Of course, he was missing a few things.

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The old Trek novels from the 80s, on the other hand, were... well, okay, they were also pretty bad overall. But they were bad in tremendously different ways from book to book, and there was even the occasional good one in the mix. I remember really liking two blondes eating pussy Dreadnought! and classic porn stars list Battlestations!.
I remember buying those from the quarter bin at library sales, where they are still often present. I liked the one where a Horta is on the crew.

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Apr 8, 2001


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I loved the Shatnerverse books. I'm a big Kirk fan so the were just awesome to me.

Those books make more sense than Troi beating Data at chess.

You have to enjoy them for what they are and don't take them too seriously. I mean, Kirk literally fights everyone, like Worf, Riker, and Picard, and WINS.

There are some cool Kirk moments too.


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All right, which one of you guys made this page? Kinda weak jokes, I know, but outrage is outrage..

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I love this part from Alec Peters:

quote:

Axanar uses professionals behind and in front of the camera and thus you get different quality of work than ST:NV and STC.

Continues' lead cast are all pro actors...

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Apr 5, 2015


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The Shatnerverse is basically 'Jim Kirk is better than everyone else suck it Picard.'

How can such a crummy book series be based on such a sound premise?

Seriously, I know I read them too but also have no memory of the Borg toggle switch. Geez.

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remusclaw
Dec 8, 2009



Another plot point of those books was that V Ger was the result of the probe landing on the planet of the Borg. They outdid themselves with that one I think.

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Cojawfee
May 31, 2006
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That's dumb because why wouldn't the Borg just go straight to Earth to start assimilating people?

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remusclaw
Dec 8, 2009



I barely remember but the wiki says this;

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"In the process, they learn that V'ger, the former Voyager 6, was actually upgraded by a division of the Borg Collective, which explains why the Borg did not assimilate Spock; they assumed the trace of V'ger in his mind from their meld (in Star Trek: The Motion Picture) was an actual link to the Collective. This also gives Starfleet another advantage; thanks to the meld, Spock knows the location of the Borg homeworld."

It made no sense to me because V Ger is on a whole nother level as a physical threat when compared to the Borg. It was not something you could fight.

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Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

I still can't believe they cast Spock as me. Spock! Can you imagine?

Of course, he was missing a few things.

I believe this was actually present as a passing plot point in "Probe," which was a book set right after The Voyage Home.

Or at least it comes up in the rewrite that got published as "Probe" since that too seems to be full of some kind of drama.

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Cojawfee
May 31, 2006
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Did Shatner actually write those books or did he just come up with an idea and have that husband and wife write it?

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Jul 12, 2009

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William Shatner presents
Star Trek: Jim Kirk Gets All the Pussy and Rules in Every Way
A Captain James Kirk Adventure
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This one time years ago I saw him on Conan promoting some new Tek War book he wrote and as soon as he said "Tek War" the audience laughed at him and he was sort of pissy for the rest of the interview

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MikeJF
Dec 20, 2003



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Did Shatner actually write those books or did he just come up with an idea and have that husband and wife write it?

The latter, presumably. They're credited as co-authors.

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Mar 28, 2010



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I can't remember if that was the one where he married a smoking hot half-Klingon-half-Romulan chick, or was that one of the other ones.

Same series, but I don't think it came up in Return.

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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

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Did Shatner actually write those books or did he just come up with an idea and have that husband and wife write it?

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This one time years ago I saw him on Conan promoting some new Tek War book he wrote and as soon as he said "Tek War" the audience laughed at him and he was sort of pissy for the rest of the interview

I also remember him going on Conan once (maybe the same one) where they asked him about his Star Trek novels and what collaboration was like with his co-authors. Shat basically said something to the effect of, "basically I go over to their place and hang out on the couch while they write." I never once believed that was an exaggeration in the slightest.

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I've said this before, but the only reason to read the Shatnerverse books is to see the Reeve-Stevens spitballing their own ideas for the Trekverse. In tricia helfer playboy nude The Return, they imagine the Borg having different "branches" that have different approaches to assimilation and expansion. One branch is more into biotech, one converts subjects into patterned energy (i.e. the guys V'ger ran into), and honestly it's way more interesting than anything canon Trek did with them after TNG ended.

Mind you, none of this holds a candle to their DS9 bestiality sex with animals Millenium trilogy, where the second book pretty much becomes Trek's answer to WH40K, complete with Ayatollah Weyoun leading the Bajorans against the remains of Starfleet led by Alzheimer's Picard.

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FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

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Millennium got to be nuts since it was an alternate universe. It did approach Shatnerverse levels of insanity though.

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I can't remember if that was the one where he married a smoking hot half-Klingon-half-Romulan chick, or was that one of the other ones.

That was a different one. You're thinking of birthday sex dirty version The Ashes of Eden.

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Mind you, none of this holds a candle to their DS9 free naked porn movies Millenium trilogy, where the second book pretty much becomes Trek's answer to WH40K, complete with Ayatollah Weyoun leading the Bajorans against the remains of Starfleet led by Alzheimer's Picard.

Yeah, but that was loving awesome.

Second book end with the bad guys sex by force videos destroying the universe.

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Imo if you can tell the difference based on a photo you've wasted your life. I can tell the difference.

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It's not hard to tell, just look at if the deflector housing looks curvy and well-made or abrupt and lovely I've wasted my life

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Drone
Aug 22, 2003

How can you have a yellow alert in Spacedock?


Has there really been anything about the new Trek series besides "it's gonna be in the Kelvin universe"? I have this deep fear that they're going to try to do Star Trek: The Next JJeneration and it's just going to be awful.

It's supposed to premiere in January of 2017, right? I remember when Enterprise was announced/launched and we had waaay more details in the 6 months leading up to it than we have about the new series now. Like, I remember promotional material and TV Guide covers and cast information and all that stuff being released like near the beginning of Voyager's seventh season.

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