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everyone wear hats now
Jul 29, 2010



Just wait till you get onto corination street with it's thrilling 'Deirdre Rachid gets sent down' storyline.

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

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guess I can move on to Coronation Street when Eastenders ends

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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

2007 Eastenders sounds pretty good. I had forgotten about Ben getting kidnapped. Has he gone to jail for the first time yet?

We just had a kidnapping of a badly burnt teenager, but I'm bored of the fake cancer and chav family now. Hoping that Max will get his hideous revenge by buying the chippie and ??????

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Bacon Terrorist
May 7, 2010

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I went to a wedding last year in which Ian Beale was one of the guests, he even spoke to me. That's my claim to fame.

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

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Phil is drinking again

poo poo's going down


e: nvm he just stole a bottle of whiskey but never got to drink it.


Max is a cool badass too he's a master manipulator. in 2007 he's just playing the nice family man while loving Stacey on the side

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Nov 26, 2013

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Phil admitted to killing Jay's dad. I didn't know if the audience was supposed to know this already or it's a reveal so I googled it and they're talking about the car lot fire. I actually do remember seeing the car lot fire because I've seen some episodes from 1996. but my google searching reveals fans are complaining about retconning the story so idk

man I really missed out not being born in England 50 years ago so I could know the whole storyline. I will probably never learn all the lore

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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Jay's dad was a guy called Jase who got involved in some gangster poo poo with Billy Mitchell and some old grizzled guy who was a cockney mob boss. Jase was out robbing with Billy, got caught by some rival gangsters, and got beaten to death while Billy hid in a bathroom watching.

So obviously there's no way they can retcon Jase getting killed by Phil as it was all on screen. But Phil did kill a random homeless guy years ago as he torched the car lot for insurance. I'm pretty sure we never even found out the homeless guy's name and no idea how Phil would even know that he was Jay's real dad. So either way they go with this it'll be dumb AF.

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

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2007

Pauline's will gives Martin the house on the condition that Sonia never live there

Is this legally enforceable


Ten year old Ben is being a real rear end in a top hat to Phil's lawyer girlfriend

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Nov 26, 2013

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so apparently the retcon is that Jase wasn't Jay's dad but the homeless guy was


or something I don't know what's going on

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Nov 26, 2013

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oh cool Bert is back

I remember him from 2006

he is rude and crude; he is quite the character

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Jay just showed up in 2007

convenient timing

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Goldie Lookin Chain is my other primary source for what life in the UK is like

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Jun 30, 2007

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Goldie Lookin Chain is my other primary source for what life in the UK is like

In the urban areas, yes.

The rest of the country is Emmerdale: sex in a house

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

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holy sh*t there was a gas explosion and Phil is injured

they've been working at this construction site for weeks and here is the payoff

surely it'll take more than that to finish off Phil Mitchell

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Bacon Terrorist
May 7, 2010

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Phil Mitchell is immortal, he isn't getting killed off because he hasn't got any other work available.

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Jun 30, 2007

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Phil Mitchell is immortal, he isn't getting killed off because he hasn't got any other work available.

Wrong.

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

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lol they brought out the entire police force to stop that old man with a revolver

people in England sure are scared of guns

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Aug 21, 2008

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Pauline just died in 2006 on Christmas

I've known this was coming for a long time because I spoilered myself wikipediaing the actress (PBS also shows Are You Being Served)


they really did ruin her character near the end

You know she died as an after-effect of getting smacked on the head with a frying pan?

It was the same frying pan she smacked Arthur on the head with back in 1993.

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Nov 26, 2013

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Jane writes down who tried to kill her





Simpsons did it

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You know she died as an after-effect of getting smacked on the head with a frying pan?

It was the same frying pan she smacked Arthur on the head with back in 1993.


yeah I saw the episode where Joe admitted he killed her with the frying pan

I never saw the one where she hit Arthur with it

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Jun 30, 2007

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Jane writes down who tried to kill her





Simpsons did it

I knew Wellard was behind the fire.

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Aug 21, 2008

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yeah I saw the episode where Joe admitted he killed her with the frying pan

I never saw the one where she hit Arthur with it

Here's the scene:

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Poor Arfur

I love the way that within the show almost everything is played completely seriously and is usually very bleak, but once you step outside the show universe, it's frequently very funny - like how Ian's wives keep trying to kill him and the glorious period when Phil was a crackhead.

Having Pauline be killed 30 years later by the same frying pan is peak Eastenders comedy.

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Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 18, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge


I don't think I've ever laughed at intentional comedy more than I laughed at Crackhead Phil Mitchell.

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Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Pat vs. Peggy is up there with most unintentionally hilarious moments:

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Aug 21, 2008

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I don't think I've ever laughed at intentional comedy more than I laughed at Crackhead Phil Mitchell.

I told a good few people that the climax of that story arc was that Phil started the fire in the Vic, Peggy's wig went up like a torch after it caught a stray spark and she ran to her death across the square like Denethor.

That would have been great.

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May 11, 2007

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OP is still 3+ years away from crackhead Phil, can't wait for the reactions

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Joseance
Jul 24, 2007



You should try hollyoaks op

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Nov 26, 2013

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have I said before how annoying Kim is

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Nov 26, 2013

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uh oh looks like some greedy developer has plans for Albert Square


could this be the end of the show?

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May 7, 2010

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The Facebook page Utter Philth is worth a visit for Phil related laughs.

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Jun 30, 2007

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The Facebook page Utter Philth is worth a visit for Phil related laughs.

Looked this up and apparently eight of my friends already like this page. I like my friends.

Abi and Lauren are gonna die.

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

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gotten behind on the 2017 show because I don't care enough about the current characters to keep up

in 2007 Ben is being a real rear end in a top hat to Phil's lawyer girlfriend

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Nov 26, 2013

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Jun 30, 2007

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gotten behind on the 2017 show because I don't care enough about the current characters to keep up

in 2007 Ben is being a real rear end in a top hat to Phil's lawyer girlfriend

Ooh the crazy lawyer girlfriend is a good storyline. I miss dorky Ben. Especially when he tried to talk street. And there’s a Phil wedding coming up!

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May 7, 2010

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Ben’s angry ‘rampage’ walk is still his career highlight, makes me laugh every time.

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Nov 26, 2013

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update: I haven't been watching the 2017 show for two months because it's boring

in 2007 Phi's lawyer girlfriend is crazy and abusing Ben

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henpod
Mar 7, 2008

Sir, we have located the Bioweapon.

Phil on crack was awesome.

Also, loving this threat through the eyes of someone ten years behind. Are you already on it after barry and janine?

Winston is the best character. He sees all.

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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

iPlayer has a bunch of old Xmas episodes at the moment. I’m watching Grant domestically abuse Tiffany, Bianca go into labour, and the square has had a big power cut... on Christmas Day!

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Jan 26, 2009

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I'm so glad we're near EastEnders Xmas and there's A Gun loose on the square. Never change, EastEnders...

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Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Max was going to jump off the roof! But then Abi and Lauren fell instead, making that three kids of his that have fallen off the roof.

RIP.

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