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got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

Only the smallest QB can ascend.


The peak of that is the neon stairwell fight in Forced Vengeance, it's shown at the beginning, middle, and end of the movie. Not in full, but it old granny sex movies is pretty

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Oct 13, 2012


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Big Bad Voodoo Lou
Jan 1, 2006


I apologize if I missed discussion of it earlier, but how was The Villainess? I saw a trailer, and it looked like a badass Korean remake of La Femme Nikita.

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FancyMike
May 7, 2007



I haven’t seen La Femme Nikita but The Villainess is a good action movie you should watch it.

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May 11, 2008

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I saw La Femme Nikita once, about 10 years ago, but it has at least one awesome stand-out shootout in a restaurant kitchen, and almost definitely inspired the sniper rifle kills in the Max Payne video games.

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Big Bad Voodoo Lou
Jan 1, 2006


Point of No Return was on TV tonight, John Badham's 1993 U.S. remake of La Femme Nikita, starring Bridget Fonda, Gabriel Byrne, Anne Bancroft, and Harvey Keitel as the Cleaner.

And you know what? I've always preferred it to Besson's original La Femme Nikita.

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Jerkface
May 21, 2001

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The villainess is really cool and has some sweet action scenes. Not perfect, but well worth watching. Spoilery thoughts: high quality sex tube i think it kinda blows by the more interesting premise of the all girl assassin academy to deal with the plot twisty lover revenge story. It does one of my least favorite first person view things of having the main character hold her gun up right in front of her face to reload which looka unnatural. Due to the culture setting there is a lot of knife fighting which is a neat twist on the wickian gunfighting and hand to hand though i feel like should be way more dangerous. The bus fight at the end is awesome but has some shoddy green screen.
The bitchy cadet who ends up dying at the end was a great character. I wasnt feeling the whole minder marriage thing and then blowing them up.

In the end i guess im not sure about the main plot having the girls husband be the dad murderer and to what end also i guess that makes the dude like 20 years older than the main lady which is ew.

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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Saw the Villainess, will echo that it's good and worth seeing. Does a lot of fun camera stuff, has a real sense of momentum and propulsion when it's not dicking around with Days of Our Assassin Lives poo poo.

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mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

"You are the best poster... do not let anyone say otherwise."


I'm kind of mixed on The Villainess, it's fun enough but the middle parts definitely drag on and aren't very interesting, and some of the action also feels too fake and detached like many movies are suffering nowadays. A simple example is the car jump - there are like 10 cuts so instead of having the car fly across you don't see poo poo. Not a huge fan of the FPV gimmick either.

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So Peter Hyams' career is doing unreasonably good knockoffs, right? I just finished Timecop and it's 100% a studio cashing in on Terminator 2 free videos pussy licking even down to a man getting partially frozen and broken but it's still pretty awesome. Weirdest thing is that it's probably one of the most 2017 movies possible, outside of The Dead Zone. A White Supremacist party, a President that's going to win through just using TV, closing the borders to make "America for Americans first," JCVD even cracks "maybe he'll calm down after the election." It's weirdly prescient in a little more specific way than a lot of Trump-predicting media has been. JCVD kicked some rear end, the fight scenes are really fun, and I like that Hyams DPs a lot of his own movies, Timecop looks great.

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Jan 17, 2005



The one thing that really annoys me with Timecop is the bit where he comes back and everything is changed. So he tells his coworkers and boss about it and they all act like he's crazy, despite the fact that this is their job.

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The one thing that really annoys me with Timecop is the bit where he comes back and everything is changed. So he tells his coworkers and boss about it and they all act like he's crazy, despite the fact that this is their job.

To be fair, their entire job is making sure poo poo doesn't change.

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Lobok
Jul 13, 2006



That's actually totally believable to me. Trying to convince anyone that All This isn't how things should be would be insanely difficult, not to mention the added hurdle in trying to convince the people who because of their job would have to admit they failed.

I guess you could do it if the changes were super conspicuous, like if next to JFK's motorcade the footage clearly showed a portal open up in thin air that the assassin jumped out of.

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Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.



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So Peter Hyams' career is doing unreasonably good knockoffs, right? I just finished Timecop and it's 100% a studio cashing in on Terminator 2 male sex toy porn even down to a man getting partially frozen and broken but it's still pretty awesome. Weirdest thing is that it's probably one of the most 2017 movies possible, outside of The Dead Zone. A White Supremacist party, a President that's going to win through just using TV, closing the borders to make "America for Americans first," JCVD even cracks "maybe he'll calm down after the election." It's weirdly prescient in a little more specific way than a lot of Trump-predicting media has been. JCVD kicked some rear end, the fight scenes are really fun, and I like that Hyams DPs a lot of his own movies, Timecop looks great.

From 1991 to 1996 there was a rise in white supremacy movements (and of course the wave of black church arsons from 94~96-ish) and I think that definitely effected movies because we had this brief time in the 90s where the neo Nazi and white supremacy groups, Aryan Brotherhood, sovereign citizen types, etc. are action move villains more than before or since.

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Sep 22, 2006

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From 1991 to 1996 there was a rise in white supremacy movements (and of course the wave of black church arsons from 94~96-ish) and I think that definitely effected movies because we had this brief time in the 90s where the neo Nazi and white supremacy groups, Aryan Brotherhood, sovereign citizen types, etc. are action move villains more than before or since.
Beyond the 90s, even. The Tom Clancy movie The Sum Of All Fears changed the villains from Islamic terrorists to neo-Nazis, and boy was Clancy pissed off about it, spending most of his time on the DVD commentary bitching about how Hollywood had ruined his book. That came out in mid-2002, though had probably been filmed before 9/11.

Timecop was dopey fun from the days when even third-division chunkheads like Van Damme and Seagal had decent amounts of resources put behind them. I miss the days of "high concept" action cinema.

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mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

"You are the best poster... do not let anyone say otherwise."


It's been years but Timecop is pretty drat fun, almost as good as Hard Target on my JCVD scale.

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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Soliciting any feedback on BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99, anyone got anything to say? OutlawVern liked it a lot.

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Sep 1, 2006

MEGALA---WHO??!!??

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Soliciting any feedback on BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99, anyone got anything to say? OutlawVern liked it a lot.

I thought it was pretty dull but I liked Vince Vaughn in it and laughed my rear end off at sex with tiny girl him scraping that dudes face off on the floor with his foot

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LesterGroans
Jun 9, 2009

It's funny...

You were so scary at night.


I really liked it, but it's definitely paced a lot slower than you'd expect. I didn't really feel the length, but it's also over two hours, which is insane for a genre picture like this.

But again, I really liked it, so I say give it a watch.

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Steen71
Apr 10, 2017



Another yay vote. Solid and grim. If you've seen Bone Tomahawk you'll know the kind of mood the film has. More broken limbs than a Steven Seagal film from the 80s.

Speaking of the 80s, it's almost a nihilistic Lock Up remake.

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Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

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Timecop was dopey fun from the days when even third-division chunkheads like Van Damme and Seagal had decent amounts of resources put behind them. I miss the days of "high concept" action cinema.
Seagal was totally acceptable doing his very limited schtick. In a smarter timeline, his career ended after On Deadly Ground flopped.

I won't oppose Seagal to Van Damme because there is still any good reason to see Van Damme: the dude can still physically perform, and better than any given actor like Liam Neeson or Matt Damon doing an action role. There was never any reason to see a Seagal movie besides the aikido fight scenes, and the guy is physically incapable of doing an action scene of any kind.

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Big Bad Voodoo Lou
Jan 1, 2006


Van Damme has also moved to a place in his career where he's in on the joke and fully embraces self-deprecating humor about his previous work and public persona.

I can't see Seagal ever cracking the slightest smile about himself or his canon, especially now that he's BFFs with Putin and other former Soviet Bloc dictators.

On that note, I watched the first episode of Jean Claude Van Johnson tonight, and it was hilarious, and far more entertaining than I thought it would be. I highly recommend it to the few of you who haven't already seen it.

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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




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I can't see Seagal ever cracking the slightest smile about himself or his canon, especially now that he's BFFs with Putin and other former Soviet Bloc dictators.

And let's not forget his previous phase of "I'm a REAL LIFE BADASS, see?!" where he rode with some LA parish sheriff's department and had a lovely reality show about it.

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Wandle Cax
Dec 15, 2006


Let's not forget about the story of Seagal trying to impress people by fighting a stunt man on set and ending up literally making GBS threads himself

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muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Just a head's up, Seagal has also "written" a book.

I'm in the middle of reading it now.

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Steen71
Apr 10, 2017



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I'm in the middle of reading it now.

Don't forget to take a break occasionally if you're feeling physically ill.

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Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

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And let's not forget his previous phase of "I'm a REAL LIFE BADASS, see?!" where he rode with some LA parish sheriff's department and had a lovely reality show about it.

Ah yes, the reality show where he had "justice vision"

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Just a head's up, Seagal has also "written" a book.

I'm in the middle of reading it now.

Are you going to do a "Let's Read" in The Book Barn?

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


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Just a head's up, Seagal has also "written" a book.

I'm in the middle of reading it now.

Every single element of this cover is hilarious.

Every.

Single.

Part.

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Jul 13, 2006



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Just a head's up, Seagal has also "written" a book.

I'm in the middle of reading it now.

Was the original subtitle "The Jew State and the Blackening of America"?

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Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


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So Peter Hyams' career is doing unreasonably good knockoffs, right? I just finished Timecop and it's 100% a studio cashing in on Terminator 2 what is head sex even down to a man getting partially frozen and broken but it's still pretty awesome. Weirdest thing is that it's probably one of the most 2017 movies possible, outside of The Dead Zone. A White Supremacist party, a President that's going to win through just using TV, closing the borders to make "America for Americans first," JCVD even cracks "maybe he'll calm down after the election." It's weirdly prescient in a little more specific way than a lot of Trump-predicting media has been. JCVD kicked some rear end, the fight scenes are really fun, and I like that Hyams DPs a lot of his own movies, Timecop looks great.

I think Timecop was an adaptation of an obscure comic book. Hyams's son, Jonathan Hyams, directed the two really good Universal Soldier DTV sequels, and Peter Hyams was the cinematographer on one or both of them.

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Timecop was dopey fun from the days when even third-division chunkheads like Van Damme and Seagal had decent amounts of resources put behind them. I miss the days of "high concept" action cinema.

The ones I've got the most affection for are Nicolas Cage's trilogy of action movies he did immediately after he won his Oscar. I like amanda holden porn film Face/Off the best out of the three but free incest streaming porn The Rock (really more of a Sean Connery movie - one of the high points of his post-Untouchables career revival where he basically played "elderly James Bond" in all his movies) and movie star sex movies Con Air have their moments.

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Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

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Every single element of this cover is hilarious.

Every.

Single.

Part.

I'm particularly fond of the slimming photoshop job done on old Steven

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Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.



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I'm particularly fond of the slimming photoshop job done on old Steven

I was surprised by this since his past few DVD covers they straight up take his head and drop it on a waaaaaay slimmer unrelated body.

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Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

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And let's not forget his previous phase of "I'm a REAL LIFE BADASS, see?!" where he rode with some LA parish sheriff's department and had a lovely reality show about it.
That's kind of his whole persona for his entire career. In every movie he collects a new kind of badass to pretend to be. In his very first film he players a martial arts master, CIA agent, Vietnam veteran, and a cop with mob connections. But he also wants to be a hippie Zen guru. Basically, he's eternally 13 years old.

My Dad always liked Seagal because he had a more serious persona than, say, Arnold. He paid more attention to handling guns properly, and that sort of thing. Now we know it's because he took his wannabe cosplaying very very seriously.

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Big Bad Voodoo Lou
Jan 1, 2006


And now we know he's also a sexual assaulter and pals with a bunch of corrupt, murderous third world dictators.

(And he was also a huge dick to everyone the one time he hosted Saturday Night Live, according to the Live From New York book.)

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


Does anyone have any expectations at all for a) James Cameron returning to the Terminator franchise in some capacity; and b) Shane Black doing a new Predator movie next year?

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Jan 1, 2006


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Does anyone have any expectations at all for a) James Cameron returning to the Terminator franchise in some capacity; and b) Shane Black doing a new Predator movie next year?

I have no nostalgia or love for Predator, and wish Shane Black was finally getting around to doing his long-discussed Doc Savage movie instead, or just a new action-crime-neo-noir-buddy comedy. But at this point, I'll enthusiastically watch anything he has written. And Fury Road taught me that you can still get an awesome movie out of a franchise that has never interested me.

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Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

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And now we know he's also a sexual assaulter and pals with a bunch of corrupt, murderous third world dictators.

(And he was also a huge dick to everyone the one time he hosted Saturday Night Live, according to the Live From New York book.)
Do you remember back in the 90s, there were rumours to the effect that he claimed he had done "private security" for warlords in Southeast Asia? Like, that was the only way he could half-plausibly claim to be a special forces soldier in real life.

The class of martial arts action stars that included Norris, Van Damme, Seagal, etc. was neat because they were close enough to the fans to appear at martial arts events. I heard from people who heard from people nothing but bad things about Seagal.

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Dredd is probably my favorite movie of the past 5 years, it’s violent, slick, brutal, and a hell of a lot of fun. The cast is awesome, and Urban is the best possible Judge Dredd.

I've said for a while that if you combined The Raid's action and style with Dredd's everything else, you'd have the perfect action movie.

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May 11, 2008

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Travel
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And let's not forget his previous phase of "I'm a REAL LIFE BADASS, see?!" where he rode with some LA parish sheriff's department and had a lovely reality show about it.

Wasn’t he with the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department? I swear he was in with Joe Arpaio. He did at least participate in a drug bust where a tank bust through a wall and killed a dog.

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Let's not forget about the story of Seagal trying to impress people by fighting a stunt man on set and ending up literally making GBS threads himself

Wasn’t there a story about him talking poo poo on JCVD at a party, and when Van Damme challenged him to a fight, Seagal ran?

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Does anyone have any expectations at all for a) James Cameron returning to the Terminator franchise in some capacity; and b) Shane Black doing a new Predator movie next year?

Isn’t Cameron just writing stories? I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing in a post-Avatar world.

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Jun 27, 2008



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So Peter Hyams' career is doing unreasonably good knockoffs, right? I just finished Timecop and it's 100% a studio cashing in on Terminator 2 hot sex porn xxx even down to a man getting partially frozen and broken but it's still pretty awesome. Weirdest thing is that it's probably one of the most 2017 movies possible, outside of The Dead Zone. A White Supremacist party, a President that's going to win through just using TV, closing the borders to make "America for Americans first," JCVD even cracks "maybe he'll calm down after the election." It's weirdly prescient in a little more specific way than a lot of Trump-predicting media has been. JCVD kicked some rear end, the fight scenes are really fun, and I like that Hyams DPs a lot of his own movies, Timecop looks great.

1991 - Terminator 2 features a villain getting frozen and shattered
1993 - Demolition Man features a villain getting frozen and shattered
1994 - Timecop features a villain getting frozen and shattered

these things always happen in threes

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