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Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
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Beer scene to me is less bizarre because it's explainable as Stallone's idea of a badass moment to show how totally not concerned Cobretti is by this shootout. I can't reason out what he could've been thinking with the pizza except for like I said before, maybe trying to be like an eccentric noir-style detective? I dunno that's probably being generous.

I know what the beer scene was supposed to do, but the execution is so loving weird. He moves to that corner, within sight of the villain, with a clear shot, and instead picks up the beer. It's not like he casually grabs it, or nonchalantly scoops it up, he very specifically moves to a position that's otherwise useful, and uses that position to open and drink beer.

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


My dream sequel to Cobra would be a sequel that takes place exactly one year later, and nobody makes mention of how old Cobretti now looks.

It would make about as much sense as anything else in the movie.

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Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope

I mean, if anybody would do that movie it's Sly, so hold out hope!

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precision
May 7, 2006

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Some people do cut pizza with scissors, just not... like that. So maybe Sly heard about people doing it but didn't realize how and nobody wanted to point out how weird it was

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Kyle Hyde
Jul 6, 2005

"It's a good gang, isn't it?"



So I got high and watched Ninja 2: Shadow of a Tear based solely on the name, and I dunno what I expected but it owned. I remember seeing the movie this was based on back in the day, but its ultimately unrelated except for the concept of ninjas. The story is about as boilerplate as you can get, but that only added to its charm in my estimation. Basically, it's the most 80s movie I've seen made this millennium. The key lighting, fight scene poses, montages, and as I said before, narrative all scream 80s action flick. The film knows it too, and plays it totally straight and leans into it. A standout aspect to me is how dynamic and choreographed the camera is. It moves around fights and is as snappy as the fights are. Lots of action gets accentuated by the camera movement. The fights themselves weren't anything to call home about, but the whole package is well put together and its a great movie when taken lightly.

It gets an A- from me.

Here's a few gifs I took from it for reasons unrelated to this post:





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Payndz
Sep 22, 2006

miss teen ohio 2008 They smelled of pubs, and Wormwood Scrubs, and too many right-wing meetings.

So I twatted them with a magic yo-yo. Because, hell, why not?


Cobra has so many great/bizarre touches.

• The guy in the suit and tie at the serial killer meeting. "Coming for a beer, Bob from accounting?" "No, I'm, uh... meeting my mom. With these axes."
• Stallone's car going as fast backwards as forwards.
• The Night Slasher grabbing a nurse by the throat while he's still hiding under a bed.
• The random steel mill in the middle of an orange grove.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

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There's a couple of memories I have of movies during the 80s/early 90s that I'm genuinely sad that younger people won't get to experience.

Seeing Willow and knowing it was directed by Ron Howard and not much else and the the initial kind of slow intro into a more idyllic setting followed by the segue into Mad Martigan boasting "I am the greatest swordsmen who ever lived!" and then getting clowned for 45 minutes before the actual reveal of "YOU ARE GREAT!!!!!!!"

Seeing Return of the Jedi 3 days after it opened with my mom and knowing deep down in my heart that it was all over after this one and being absolutely euphoric when I walked out of the theater and felt it had the perfect ending to the series.

Total Recall's ad campaign just being a bunch of weird poo poo that really didn't tell you anything about the movie and coming after a string of Arnie disappointments and comedies (Kindergarten Cop and Twins are fun, but they aren't exactly primo Arnie material) and the crown erupting when the movie finally showed its hand and revealed it was A Fuckin' Arnie Action Movie

Die Hard, a friend recommended it to me, all we knew is that the Moonlighting Guy was in it and it, my friend and I rode the bus and walked for like 30 minutes to see it, I remember the part where John is about to jump off the building and my friend leaned over and said to me "I cannot loving BELIEVE how good this movie is!" (I hear you buddy)

And my mom pulling my brother and I out of school to see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on opening day. Bless her.

I probably watched Willow every day of my life when I was around 6-7 years old. I really miss that dirty 80s fantasy aesthetic and I can't believe that in our current zeitgeist of all 80s all the time, that particular area has gone overlooked.

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Al Cu Ad Solte
Nov 30, 2005
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Ninja 2 is so much fun. Scott Adkin's Japanese pronunciation is so horrid it veers right into comedy. Plus it has Kane Kosugi! Really great fight sequences and I'm glad the director was smart enough to just let the camera hang back and let Adkins and the rest of the stunt team do their thing.

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LesterGroans
Jun 9, 2009

It's funny...

You were so scary at night.


Yeah, Ninja 2 is a lot of fun. I actually haven't seen the first one, but they do a good job of selling his character. After the Undisputed and Universal Soldier films it's probably my favourite Adkins.

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Wandle Cax
Dec 15, 2006


Ninja 1 is a bit different, it's like an episode of Xena crossed with Power rangers

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Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

Ninja 2 sounds like what we really wanted movies like black free porn pics American Ninja and 10 inch dick porn Samurai Cop to be when we were kids.

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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


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I probably watched Willow every day of my life when I was around 6-7 years old. I really miss that dirty 80s fantasy aesthetic and I can't believe that in our current zeitgeist of all 80s all the time, that particular area has gone overlooked.

It really is incredible that aesthetic is being mostly ignored while the loving Miami Vice look infiltrated via VAPORWAVE. Hardly seems fair.

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Al Cu Ad Solte
Nov 30, 2005
Searching for
a righteous cause


Anyone ever see Sahara? I know it tanked big time but I've always been curious. Also, the main theme by Clint Mansell is an absolute banger naked comic book women

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Its a decent modern-day indiana jones knockoff

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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

Dispensing unwanted fitness advice since 2005. P.S. Squat more! BEEFCAKE!!!

Predator 2 might have the best "80s crime panic" opening ever.

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


I legit buy that Cobra and Predator 2 exist in a shared universe.

Laser sights for everybody!

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McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




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Predator 2 might have the best "80s crime panic" opening ever.

"Rush-hour rambos" has long been in my personal lexicon.

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