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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Can anyone tell me where the old thread is? I have a bunch of files there that I need to access.

Why did the old thread get moved? I didn’t see anything wrong with it.

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Oct 17, 2003

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Just save all your new threads as AAAAAAAAnewthread.txt so they go to the top.

I'm not sure how to do that. The last guy created a shortcut on my desktop that was at the porn with ron jeremy. Can you just come here and do it for me?

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

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Can't remember if I posted about the terrified grad student who brought in a floppy disk (this was 1996), saying her dissertation file was corrupt.

I was able to recover one of the files for her, and I gave her a stern lecture about keeping multiple backups and even emailing herself the file once a week.

Imagine having such faith in humanity and technology that the very concept of backups on multiple media doesn't exist in your world. Imagine this place.

Now wake up and realize that it's just that people are fundamentally stupid.

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Oct 17, 2003

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When they're working, they hum along with nary a complaint. Until they don't and all hell breaks loose.

That's what's so frustrating about about Fortigate. All this potential, right there lying just beyond my fingertips because I can't count on it for the long term.

It’s the same for me with Sonicwall. I have three units that are utterly bombproof and have been running for over a decade. And a fourth that I keep as a backup because it’s stability is poo poo.

Once upon a time I tried out a pair of Fortinet devices in a satellite office and they sucked so hard I tossed them for a PfSense PC until I had the funds for a sonicwall.

Funny how people get lucky with a brand and stick with it when in actuality all products are equally lovely. It simply depends on if your work style and support style are compatible with a particular set of shittiness.


Also: I love handholding customers through their grief when I tell them that they will have to patch and reboot fleets of EC2 instances immediatelynownownow. At least I have the comfort of knowing that Azure is going through the same pain...

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

:Customer: 11:49am - Agrikk we are doing a migration of a critical platform into our account at 1pm. Thought you should know.

Uh okay. This is the first I’m hearing about this. I guess I’ll watch my phone for critical pages and alerts really really hard for the next couple hours, then

:Customer: 2pm - starting migration now.

Okay cool. I’ll sit here ~with baited breath~ as I wait anxiously for your every update on a launch I knew nothing about.

:Customer: 2:30pm hey Agrikk we are getting capacity errors can you have a look?

- you are trying to deploy 500 x1e.24xl instances? Did you set up your reserved instances ahead of time to guarantee instance availability like I told you during our best practices discussions? [See emails dated date1, date2, date3 and date4]

:Customer: - no. We thought you could do that for us during launch.

okay, no. RIs are a contract purchased as an agreement negotiated specifically for enterprise customers. They aren’t a bit that flips.

But anyways, we don’t have this kind of capacity in such short notice on the more exotic instance types. Can you just switch to more of a smaller instance type?

:Customer: We don’t know how to modify the Teradata templates to change the instance type . *BIG PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SIGH* Well okay. If you aren’t going to help, I guess we will abort the launch and set up a meeting with your executive leadership to talk about how you guys failed us.



I want to fire these guys so hard, but they pay $millions per month so yeah. We will all sit in a call to listen to our execs talk to their execs about EC2 RI purchases, capacity, how to engage enterprise support what best practices exist for launch days like this. This will happen despite me having a satisfyingly large collection of emails that discuss these very topics multiple times and multiple ways.

The cool part is that I have faith that my leadership won’t throw us under the bus. They’re good like that

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Oct 17, 2003

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It's going to go horribly wrong.



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My favorite part about this pic is how the cabinet in the foreground has taken a bite out of the desk as it fell. Glad no one was nearby...

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

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I have literally no idea what the gently caress she is talking about. We have Cisco switches and ASA's but that's about it

Just reply with "Yes. Weekly."

The people asking the question have no idea what they are asking and are making a box to tick.
The people answering the question have no idea what they are being asked and are ticking a box.

Since no knowledgeable person is making a learned decision based on anything remotely based in reality, you could answer "Yes. Purple" and it would have as much business impact.

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Oct 17, 2003

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This ain't a desktop computer, it's gotta connect to a backplane. In any case, I ended up doing this:

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However the RAID controller doesn't recognize it. Back to the drawing board.

Try this:

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These have worked great in my hot-swap drive cage.

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Oct 17, 2003

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I'm trying my best. I got my resume out there, my linkedin fully updated and all that jazz. I am hoping to YOTJ, but right now there is a lot of help desk jobs that people would rather fill. There is some system engineer positions open at Amazon I could apply to. I think as long as I am not a warehouse worker I might not be worked to death?

Send me your CV. I can forward it to a friend in HR.

Also no, you will not be worked to death. You will work hard but you will learn a shitload, work along side ridiculously smart people and open up a ton of doors in your career path.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

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Re: [SPAM] FW: RE: A Ticket Came In - I Just Don’t Care

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Oct 17, 2003

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Taking bets on which gives way first, the cable or the port. I'll give you 7:1 odds on cable giving way first.

I’ll give you 16:9 odds.

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Oct 17, 2003

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Oct 17, 2003

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Yeah, same as having 1.3 being older than 1.23. If you know you're going into two numbers then use 1.03 to avoid the ambiguity of it all, or have the delineators be obvious.

The preceding zero is one of those things that just aggravates by its absence. 2018-1-1 vs 2018-01-01 makes me crazy.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.


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Because we’ve all “big tits free porno seen some real poo poo, man” and wished we had someone who would just listen and/or give advice. Even if it’s “hey, it will get better, just hang in there” or being a fresh set of eyes to look dispassionately and say “hmm... that’s a mighty deep well you’re in, want some advice on climbing out?”

I love these forums.


How many of y’all can say they’ve had a mentor at some point in your career?


Having worked at small or one-person shops for the most of my formative years, I’m pretty much entirely self-taught and have found new positions entirely on merit and not on whom I knew.

Is this typical of us here?

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Oct 17, 2003

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Is this where I ask about different app/service packages and suggestions?

Sure. Just submit a ticket.

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Oct 17, 2003

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There was the (possibly apocryphal) MD who owned a boat called 'A Business Trip'

So, his secretary could tell callers 'I am sorry he is not available, he's on a business trip'

Just how many bars in the world are called “The Office” anyways?

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

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I had a PM for another group tell me that I need to stop bothering her people directly and everything I needed was to go through her.


Then three weeks later that same PM tells me that she can't be responsible for every little thing her group does and to contact them directly.

Ask me about the brand new “I’m going to SAVE THE COMPANY” account manager that said from now on, all communications would flow through him.

I pushed back, saying that we traditionally have direct contact with customer employees due to support cases being opened by those employees.

He said, “Nope! All communication. All.”

Okay jackass.

On Monday I updated the customer entry in our case management system stating that all communication would flow through $accountManager.

By Thursday the customer is screaming, “Who the gently caress is $accountManager and why is he holding things up?!?”

Friday he’s backpedaling like crazy and telling the rest of us on the account team that he never said “all communication”.

Two of us emailed him his previous email directive, both of us cc-d everyone on the team plus supervisors.


Jackass.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

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No, MI-6 is when your overseas datacenter link drops. You're thinking of MI-5.

Bravo

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Oct 17, 2003

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Dude from att knocked on my door the other evening saying they were working on the building and asking if I wanted to switch. Asking 3 times what kinda of speeds they were getting and getting replies of TV stations got the door slammed on his face.

Spectrum isn't much better though, the calls and flyers to add TV service is damned near every day. Fuckers.

Comcast. I have two accounts with Comcast: first is a business internet account with phone service. Second is Xfinity for tv channels ( because the business account only has “business-y” channels and news stuff).

Ask me how many times I’ve called for problems with my internet and been told “you don’t have internet” because I’ve been transferred to the wrong side of the shop.

Similarly “you don’t get [x channel]” because I’ve been routed to the business internet folks.

Why is this so hard, people?

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.


How is Wenona, anyway?

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Oct 17, 2003

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Also: there's nothing more humbling intellectually than going to a conference and having dinner with the guy who actually designs the chips that run the platform I work on.

This happens to me a lot. Problem with S3? Here. Here’s one of the guys that wrote S3. EC2? Here’s the Distinguished Engineer of EC2 networking.

Cool guys, but holy poo poo are they wicked smart. “Me? Uh. I wrote A Thing in PHP once.”

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Oct 17, 2003

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The problem is so many younger people use Apple products where troubleshooting quickly devolves into taking it to the Apple Store.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Texas Instruments with an external Maxell tape recorder for a “hard drive”.

Code:
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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

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Turns out the idea of 'enough' is subjective!

Running wires in my house sucks. WiFi works. That's enough for me

You haven’t lived until you’ve taken an eighteen inch drill bit through your wall from the outside to get gigabit to your second floor from your detached garage.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

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iSCSI over Wifi then?

I actually set up a dedicated WAP once just to do this. It works, but about as performant as one would expect. It was a hilarious conversation piece, though: it was fun to show people my lab and say, “yeah, we are about to set up a wireless iscsi storage network between buildings for our prod environment. Why?”

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Oct 17, 2003

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I can play the sounds of the Commodore 1541 drive in my head.

*grind* *grind* *tick* *tick* *tick* *tick* *beat* *tick* *tick* *tick* *tick* *grind* *grind*

Ahh memories.

That and the evolution of the modem connection sounds as speeds and modulation changed.

My first full-fledged PC was the IBM PC that I split with my dad. His office was next to my bedroom so at night he’d settle in to futz with Lotus 1-2-3 with booting DOD from 5-1/4” floppies:

Honk-honk-weeee!-honk tick tick tickTick tick

My brother and I both trigger each other with that sound. I’d love to find an audio clip of that sound and send it to him.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Dear Agrikk,

I am opening this support case to let you know, in no uncertain terms, that I truly do not understand how to cloud. I am also acknowledging that all of your previous efforts to educate us have fallen on deaf ears and we remain as willfully ignorant of your best practices and concepts as ever.

Sincerely,

<customer>




(Customer opened a critical case because they could not SSH into a single ec2 instance. I can't imagine a scenario in which not being able to SSH into a host is a business impacting event with financial implications.)

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Oct 17, 2003

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Our platform team is bitching about how expensive the is now. Apparently in their cost projections they didn't plan on going in more than one AZ or region, single instances running apps that ran on half a dozen load balanced servers on-prem.

Trigger warning that, please.

“My poo poo’s good yo. I’m in the cloud.” says a customer.

(the cloud is one ec2 instance in a public facing subnet with a public IP address with NACLs for everything “except places that need to access the applications hosted on it.”)

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Oct 17, 2003

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A human came in a week ago...

This shot however was from Saturday.

Congratulations on your new tiny human!

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The amount of fucks I've given about literally anything at work right now has reached new and unprecedented levels of zero.

This means you are doing it right. There are a few moments in life, like a birth, a health crisis, or a death, that forces you to well and truly understand that some poo poo is IMPORTANT and the rest is absolute bullshit.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

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This is even more egregious, some dev slapped a 50 character limit on the email address field on the login screen, because I guess if you gotta put a limit in why not just make one up.

Ive seen this a lot. Varchar(50) is the default datatype/size for some database engines, so when you build tables lots of fields end up as this because why bother actually analyzing your data ahead of time?

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Oct 17, 2003

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Bonus points for creating a low disk space cleanup script that goes in and deletes cab files, stops wsus, deletes the contents of the software distribution folder and then starts wsus, then blows away the contents of all the temp folders.

It’s you. You are today’s unsung hero.

My mom doesn’t know you, but she thanks you.

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Oct 17, 2003

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Our policy is that if you're drinking at the office you can't work on production systems and if you get too drunk the company will pay for a taxi/rideshare to get you home safely.

Pretty much every time I'm in the office, I end up getting lunchbeers with a bunch of the engineers and we turn the majority of Friday afternoon into happy hour, it's great.

It is fashionable here to have a fifth of something fancy on your desk out for drive-bys to “sample”. Some folk even have wood casks on their desk for aging their liquor further.

It’s out in the open and no one seems to care one way or another. Again, it’s a function of our org treating its adult professionals like adult professionals. It’s refreshing and one of the reasons why I’ve stuck around as long as I have.

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Oct 17, 2003

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I feel like someone's asked you this before, but what's your take on the article a while ago claiming you were the new sweatshop, everything was awful, people were driven to tears on the reg, etc? Or is AWS very different from the rest of the place?

IMO these pieces were written with someone with an axe to grind against the company.

I have never, nor do I know anyone who has cried at their desk. I imagine that the higher you get in the corporation and the closer you get to Bezos and Jassy the higher the pressure and the more intense the scrutiny. Kindle Fire? The Fire Phone? The Echo? I bet these pet projects were a pressure cooker of stress.

But AWS is this insanely successful, wildly popular red headed cousin of Amazon and we are left pretty much alone. Meaning we have a lot of autonomy to succeed or fail on our own merit.

Still, I hear that our software development engineers get worked pretty hard with intense timelines. But people come here to build the next Cloud Thing and two years of coding for EC2 and DynamoDB and other services at a scale and scope undreamt of literally anywhere else means you can write your own ticket anywhere.

It’s a huge feather in the cap and I’m constantly offered jobs at Facebook or Apple or Google or Microsoft and turn them down because AWS owns.

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Oct 17, 2003

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I'll grant maybe that the transition from whatever they used to Windows may have been a tough shift, but this company had Windows 98 and we're on Windows 7 currently, so two decades of a fairly similar computer interface. The only real UI change for them has been the shift from Netware to AD.

I have to imagine typewriter repairmen had their own brand of bullshit to deal with.


Oh yeah. It can be everywhere at every level. One of the sysadmins at another site sent us 30 VOIP phones. Just dumped them all in an old paper towel cardboard box without any sort of padding or anything and slapped a shipping label on it. It's a miracle the box made it at all, all split down the sides and 50% Fedex tape.

I once shipped a NetApp filer via UPS. I said, “this thing is fragile and very heavy and I need you to package this thing as carefully as possible. Can you handle this?”

After getting yeah yeah sure sured out of the shop I got an email from the eBay recipient with pictures. The device looked like it was smashed with a bat and had blown out all for corners of the box. Apparently the hundred pound -ish device was wrapped in a single layer of bubble wrap and the single-walled box filled with peanuts like you would ship a highball glass or something.

Mercifully I elected to take insurance and I had pictures of the unit when I dropped it off so I ended up making money on the transaction.

Sill, UPS: you had ONEJOB TO DO.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

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I think the only way to ship something like that when you don't have the original box is to rack it in a flight case and strap it to a pallet

Ordinarily I would take this to a freight company and have them build a new crate for it. But in this case the NetApp has been retired and I was eBaying it, so there was no way I was spending $600 on shipping.

My logic was that if it made the trip safely I get the buyer’s money and if it didn’t I’d get the insurance money.

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Oct 17, 2003

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Fibre runs to desktop? What the gently caress?

Because sometimes you need that 10g goodness.

To your file server spinning 5400rpm WD Greens.

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Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Critical! Help! I cannot ssh into our super important server!
It looks like your authentication is failing. What changed?
Well I deleted a bunch of old keys from [file location] but...
do you have a snapshot or backups?
No. We’ll just kill the server.

So wait a second. You have a critical workload running on a single instance and not an ASG with no snapshotting or backups. It's simultaneously: "HELP - this one single single server is down and its SUPER important that you bring it bak!" and also "Meh, no biggy, let's just trash the server."

Yeah, the "HELP, it's important! Just kidding #LetsTrashIt" is a perfect urgent use case.

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Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

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Onion is not a fruit

Whatever it is, put a wedge or two of an onion on a chicken and beef kabob with red and green peppers and some cherry tomatoes and roast that poo poo over open flame. All the kebabs. Do it.

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Oct 17, 2003

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