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Empress Brosephine
Mar 31, 2012


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Jan 20, 2005

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Thanos's motivation is stupid as hell and they should've just gone for comics Thanos where dude just loving loves death and wants to cause a ton of it so that the anthropomorphic personification of death will notice him.

You can imagine some exec going "that's too weird", but then you would wonder why the response isn't "we're already using a twelve-foot giant purple man who is a space tyrant searching for magical gemstones in a universe where a belligerent tree and a space alien that looks exactly like a raccoon are some of the most popular characters, where the hell do you find the idea that giant purple man has a boner for a literal sexy version of death is a step too far".

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We don't know what the actual plot is yet, he could still be saying all the trailer soundbite poo poo about population control to the Avengers before he realises Gamora and Nebula are there to blow his poo poo up, embarrass him and tear down the facade.

"no! NO! he's just a deadbeat loser who cant get over his highschool girlfriend!!" "look, he's still wearing his gold letterman armor."

Which causes him to go apeshit and really destroy the Earth.

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Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

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That would be better. Deadbeat yokel Dad still pining for his glory days of the past and high school fantasy GF he could never get with and has spent his whole life building up and trying to nail. His two sassy and estranged daughters begrudgingly help and it unites them.

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Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

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Could have even cast Bruce Campbell as Thanos and you could murder your fast quip mark and not needed a CG chin.

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sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

Has there been any talk as to why the MCU release schedule has shifted to front-loading the year? There's almost always been an autumn release since Phase Two, but now 2018/2019 have no late release films and seem to be switching to the first half of the year only. Even though Infinity War was pushed up, it was still originally going to be earlier. With Ant-Man & The Wasp coming in July that's 4 movies within 8 months including Ragnarok last November, and then nothing this fall/winter. It seems odd to put them out so quickly and so close to each other. I was thinking it could be because of Star Wars, but there's no Star Wars film releasing this winter, just Solo in May.

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Thanos's motivation is stupid as hell and they should've just gone for comics Thanos where dude just loving loves death and wants to cause a ton of it so that the anthropomorphic personification of death will notice him.


There was one shot where one of the female special forces soldiers gets hit by a war rhino and I swear they just didn't even bother to apply any sort of texture or lighting to the CGI lady at all. She looked like she was right out of like PS1-era Final Fantasy FMV. It was probably a total of like three or four frames but it was japan tv show sex really jarring.

Also, the fight on the train tracks at the end could've come right out of Revenge of the Sith, as far as CGI quality is concerned.

This is pretty common. For whatever reasons, despite the many, many advancements both in the technology and the craft of CGI, people who get hit and go flying always look dodgy. It's not just texturing and lighting, they don't even move like humans, or even 3d objects. It must just be a shot that's always left on the bottom of the pile until the last minute or something.

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porfiria
Dec 10, 2008


Thanos being a big dumb Malthusianist owns. However, it is also dumb and pointless. Like the art of film in general.

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WillyTheNewGuy
Feb 16, 2005

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Does it? Paltrow hasn't been in a Marvel movie since 2013, despite Stark appearing in at least three since then.

This was from awhile back, but she returned at the end of Spider-Man: Homecoming.

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Dec 23, 2006

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Has there been any talk as to why the MCU release schedule has shifted to front-loading the year? There's almost always been an autumn release since Phase Two, but now 2018/2019 have no late release films and seem to be switching to the first half of the year only. Even though Infinity War was pushed up, it was still originally going to be earlier. With Ant-Man & The Wasp coming in July that's 4 movies within 8 months including Ragnarok last November, and then nothing this fall/winter. It seems odd to put them out so quickly and so close to each other. I was thinking it could be because of Star Wars, but there's no Star Wars film releasing this winter, just Solo in May.

Disney uses Star Wars in December to pump its Q4 financials.

They're pretty clearly looking at Solo as a sunk cost.

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Jan 2, 2001

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I will support Gwyneth as Tony’s replacement long as she is like her real life self. The one who wanted to start her own high class gym of well dressed fashionable goers versus sweaty regular folk in pajamas.

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MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Only four left for big boy here, so he's all but useless.



Thanos' new plan make him sound like a generic anime villain with flowing white or silver hair.

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I will support Gwyneth as Tony’s replacement long as she is like her real life self. The one who wanted to start her own high class gym of well dressed fashionable goers versus sweaty regular folk in pajamas.

Excuse me, I'm gonna go write a Black Widow movie where the villain is explicitly Gwyneth Paltrow Taking Over The World With Goop. Like we're talking "her name is Penyth Galtrow and her Evil Organization, POOG, is controlling the minds of women with amethyst eggs that they're saying have special cleansing power if they're shoved up the rear end"

NVM actually that's gonna be the Deadpool/Kingsman crossover

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JBP
Feb 16, 2017

Asking the tough questions. Providing the right answers.

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I will support Gwyneth as Tony’s replacement long as she is like her real life self. The one who wanted to start her own high class gym of well dressed fashionable goers versus sweaty regular folk in pajamas.

Insane diet Gwyneth would be the greatest and most pomo version of Iron Man. I am all for this. I'd watch the gently caress out of it.

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Autism Sneaks
Nov 21, 2016


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I will support Gwyneth as Tony’s replacement long as she is like her real life self. The one who wanted to start her own high class gym of well dressed fashionable goers versus sweaty regular folk in pajamas.

That's an awful example. I much prefer Goop-owner Gwyneth Paltrow that wants me to pay her 135 simoleons for a plastic bottle that exists solely to squirt coffee up my rear end in a top hat

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sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

"This is the new Stark Industries Mark LXVIII. If you turn this elbow joint the right way, it shoves a jade egg up your vagina to align your chakras and flush out toxins."

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Jun 30, 2007

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" In order to defeat Thanos we must harness the power of the coffee enema"

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Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

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You can imagine some exec going "that's too weird", but then you would wonder why the response isn't "we're already using a twelve-foot giant purple man who is a space tyrant searching for magical gemstones in a universe where a belligerent tree and a space alien that looks exactly like a raccoon are some of the most popular characters, where the hell do you find the idea that giant purple man has a boner for a literal sexy version of death is a step too far".

None of the things you’ve mentioned are hard to grasp in concept. It’s a person that happens to look like a Raccoon. It’s person that happens to look like a tree and has a limited vocabulary. They’re all just stand in’s for people. Their interactions would work the exact same if they were people.

This is basically the Marvel formula. No matter how weird it seems (Norse god, talking tree, living planet, etc) they’re all just folk who like to quip and joke around like you and your buddies!

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porfiria
Dec 10, 2008


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None of the things you’ve mentioned are hard to grasp in concept. It’s a person that happens to look like a Raccoon. It’s person that happens to look like a tree and has a limited vocabulary. They’re all just stand in’s for people. Their interactions would work the exact same if they were people.

This is basically the Marvel formula. No matter how weird it seems (Norse god, talking tree, living planet, etc) they’re all just folk who like to quip and joke around like you and your buddies!

Every character in everything is a stand in for a person because we haven't met aliens or AIs yet. Except the robot in Rocky IV, the only truly convincing evocation of a malevolent, alien consciousness.

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JBP
Feb 16, 2017

Asking the tough questions. Providing the right answers.

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"This is the new Stark Industries Mark LXVIII. If you turn this elbow joint the right way, it shoves a jade egg up your vagina to align your chakras and flush out toxins."

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Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

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Excuse me, I'm gonna go write a Black Widow movie where the villain is explicitly Gwyneth Paltrow Taking Over The World With Goop. Like we're talking "her name is Penyth Galtrow and her Evil Organization, POOG, is controlling the minds of women with amethyst eggs that they're saying have special cleansing power if they're shoved up the rear end"

NVM actually that's gonna be the Deadpool/Kingsman crossover

Actually it sounds a lot closer to the plot of the nude web cam video Catwoman movie.

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Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

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Perhaps the reason a few are missing is cause Fury is gonna form a secret Avengers where Capt Marvel, Hawkeye, Wasp, Ant Man and Luis, Kurt and Dave have to save the original Avengers and pull the end of all things back from the brink for the next Avengers movie.

I do want a recap by Michael Pena. Possibly Thanos and his crew interrogating him where he has to spill the beans but it confuses the poo poo out of everyone.

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Hat Thoughts
Jul 27, 2012


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None of the things you’ve mentioned are hard to grasp in concept. It’s a person that happens to look like a Raccoon. It’s person that happens to look like a tree and has a limited vocabulary. They’re all just stand in’s for people. Their interactions would work the exact same if they were people.

This is basically the Marvel formula. No matter how weird it seems (Norse god, talking tree, living planet, etc) they’re all just folk who like to quip and joke around like you and your buddies!

what does that have to do with his post

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Oct 12, 2004

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None of the things you’ve mentioned are hard to grasp in concept. It’s a person that happens to look like a Raccoon. It’s person that happens to look like a tree and has a limited vocabulary. They’re all just stand in’s for people. Their interactions would work the exact same if they were people.

This is basically the Marvel formula. No matter how weird it seems (Norse god, talking tree, living planet, etc) they’re all just folk who like to quip and joke around like you and your buddies!

...that's what Death is in the comics. It is a personification that doesn't even talk to Thanos in the storyline (she basically cold shoulders him constantly which is still a human emotion).

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YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

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...that's what Death is in the comics. It is a personification that doesn't even talk to Thanos in the storyline (she basically cold shoulders him constantly which is still a human emotion).

Sounds pretty dumb.

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There nothing weird about any of the Marvel movie characters, they’re just the same snarky, ironic jokesters wearing different costumes. Whether the costume is an iron suit or a raccoon doesn’t make much difference.

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Hat Thoughts
Jul 27, 2012


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Sounds pretty dumb.


There nothing weird about any of the Marvel movie characters, they’re just the same snarky, ironic jokesters wearing different costumes. Whether the costume is an iron suit or a raccoon doesn’t make much difference.

ya but way I read his point was - it's strange that it isn't in the movie because the argument of it being exec-vetoed for being "too weird" obviously doesnt hold tru since it's not out of line w/ the current brand...which is also what ur saying

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


My guess is that a personification of death might be a little more metaphysical than Marvel is willing to get right now. Asgardians are basically advanced aliens, and even Doctor Strange frames magic as a kind of science in practice. Death kind of enters a realm of spirituality that hasn’t really been present in the MCU up to this point (except maybe just recently with Black Panther).

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Mar 8, 2007
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My guess is that a personification of death might be a little more metaphysical than Marvel is willing to get right now. Asgardians are basically advanced aliens, and even Doctor Strange cheating wife porn videos frames magic as a kind of science in practice. Death kind of enters a realm of spirituality that hasn’t really been present in the MCU up to this point (except maybe just recently with Black Panther).

That reminds me one of the only good things about the movie was how his hand motions for when he's manipulating time are akin to someone in a video editing pod.

Movies are so weird, like we already had Hela herself in a well-received MCU movie, is Death that much of a jump? And like everything with Ego in Guardians II was waaaaaaay out there compared to just about anything else they've done.

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Nov 25, 2002

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My guess is that a personification of death might be a little more metaphysical than Marvel is willing to get right now. Asgardians are basically advanced aliens, and even Doctor Strange frames magic as a kind of science in practice. Death kind of enters a realm of spirituality that hasn’t really been present in the MCU up to this point (except maybe just recently with Black Panther).

What I'd been led to believe is that MCU "Death" is actually just Hela, who's also a goddess of Death.

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Sounds pretty dumb.

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Marvel has a Death and it should be Cate Blanchett as Hela cold shouldering Thanos. Would own.

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That reminds me one of the only good things about the movie was how his hand motions for when he's manipulating time are akin to someone in a video editing pod.

Movies are so weird, like we already had Hela herself in a well-received MCU movie, is Death that much of a jump? And like everything with Ego in Guardians II was waaaaaaay out there compared to just about anything else they've done.

Not really, because both of them were the same nasty villains played by a good actor wasting their time. They're not conceptually any different, just different costumes.

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Mar 28, 2009


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Marvel has a Death and it should be Cate Blanchett as Hela cold shouldering Thanos. Would own.

Maybe that's what Avengers 4 will be about, she's unimpressed with whatever he's trying to pull off in Avengers 3 so he steps it up.

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Feb 28, 2007

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Marvel has a Death and it should be Cate Blanchett as Hela cold shouldering Thanos. Would own.

Apparently Infinity War is very Thanos/Thor heavy, so this could actually be a thing.

We already knew Thanos would be the focus but Thor being a major player is a new rumor that started last week.

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Marvel has a Death and it should be Cate Blanchett as Hela cold shouldering Thanos. Would own.

She's not on the cast list but I agree, this would be amazing

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Nov 25, 2008

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thanos getting shut down by death constantly loving rules and is the only good part ofthe infinity gauntlet story

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the best is when Death shuts down Thanos to go off and gently caress with Deadpool. Amazing.

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porfiria
Dec 10, 2008


I hope killing half the universe breaks down at the level of half of superheroes.

Dead:
Iron Man
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Alive:
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the best is when Death shuts down Thanos to go off and gently caress with Deadpool. Amazing.

That's years later, and it's not good actually

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Will Thanos become a farmer at the end?

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Feb 16, 2005

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My guess is that a personification of death might be a little more metaphysical than Marvel is willing to get right now. Asgardians are basically advanced aliens, and even Doctor Strange frames magic as a kind of science in practice. Death kind of enters a realm of spirituality that hasn’t really been present in the MCU up to this point (except maybe just recently with Black Panther).

Uh, they already had a goddess of death show up in Thor 3, I could see Thanos being into her. They could have made his goal to restore her to power with the infinity gauntlet, and to serve Thor up to her to win her favor.

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