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Jewel Repetition
Dec 24, 2012

Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.


Let's talk about the secret agent 007 and his adventures.

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Jewel Repetition
Dec 24, 2012

Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.


The first thing I'd like to talk about is Natalya. In Goldeneye, the Bond girl is a sheltered expert programmer, but she still looks and acts the same as every other bond girl (except a little more competent and forceful but that's just because it was a reboot and they wanted to be more modern and less sexist). I think they should have made her a full on nerd with pop culture shirts, ponytail, badly done or absent makeup, etc. She'd still be played by the same beautiful actress obviously but it would have made more sense.

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Steve2911
Jan 22, 2013

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I want Craig's replacement to be the full on MRA, right wing stinkyhole that he actually is.

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Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
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I want Craig's replacement to be the full on MRA, right wing stinkyhole that he actually is.

Connery is too old to reprise the role.

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Sep 22, 2006

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The best Bond is Roger Moore. Even his name is a double-entendre.

Plus he generally fights goofy pantomime villains with cartoony plots to take over the world, which is far more entertaining than the job of real British spies: to maintain and enforce the remnants of British imperialist rule at all costs through violence, corruption and the suffering of innocents.

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Feb 11, 2015

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James Bond: Mall Cop

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Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


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The best Bond is Roger Moore. Even his name is a double-entendre.

Moore gets slagged off a lot by the same people who slag off Adam West as Batman. Imagine if Peter Wyngarde had played Bond. It would've been the same story.

As I mentioned in the action movies thread, I rewatched african american sex scenes The Living Daylights and india summer pussy patrol Licence To Kill recently and was pleasantly surprised by how much more I enjoyed Licence than I did in the past. Daylights has its merits but I think Licence is probably the stronger of the two. It's a fairly Lethal Weapon movie.

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The first thing I'd like to talk about is Natalya. In Goldeneye, the Bond girl is a sheltered expert programmer, but she still looks and acts the same as every other bond girl (except a little more competent and forceful but that's just because it was a reboot and they wanted to be more modern and less sexist). I think they should have made her a full on nerd with pop culture shirts, ponytail, badly done or absent makeup, etc. She'd still be played by the same beautiful actress obviously but it would have made more sense.

GoldenEye, in my opinion, is the best bond film; it has just the right amount of campiness, action, and style. Famke Janssen's villain is easily one of the most memorable ones, too.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


I think the Brosnan movies even out as being better overall than the Craig movies (so far).

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

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The best Bond is Roger Moore. Even his name is a double-entendre.

Plus he generally fights goofy pantomime villains with cartoony plots to take over the world, which is far more entertaining than the job of real British spies: to maintain and enforce the remnants of British imperialist rule at all costs through violence, corruption and the suffering of innocents.

I really liked Roger Moore's sendup of Bond the best, even if the actual films he got to star in were very uneven. His comedic timing was excellent and he totally embraced the camp. I feel that modern 007 totally lacks its own voice, it's just another Bourne Identity series even if the movies themselves aren't too terrible.

They should probably just cast a new Bond with every entry since the quality of the series seems to wane the longer one actor has the role.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


The one after the next one should have Colin Firth as Roger Moore as James Bond.

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


I don't buy into the whole "James Bond is a code name" theory, but my god, how awesome would it be to have the villain of a Bond flick be an actual James Bond. And I'm not talking Alec Trevelyn; I'm talking full-on real-deal James Bond as a bad guy fighting a newer, younger James Bond. Like, imagine if it was Lazenby or Dalton; the dudes who got shafted by circumstance and timing.

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Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

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Dec 23, 2006

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I don't buy into the whole "James Bond is a code name" theory, but my god, how awesome would it be to have the villain of a Bond flick be an actual James Bond. And I'm not talking Alec Trevelyn; I'm talking full-on real-deal James Bond as a bad guy fighting a newer, younger James Bond. Like, imagine if it was Lazenby or Dalton; the dudes who got shafted by circumstance and timing.

Connery was briefly considered for the villain role in GoldenEye, and he was slated for the caretaker role in Skyfall before he told them to gently caress off.

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Jul 19, 2007

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Connery was briefly considered for the villain role in GoldenEye, and he was slated for the caretaker role in Skyfall free latin ass porn before he told them to gently caress off.

I want to believe those were his exact words

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Apr 8, 2009


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I want to believe those were his exact words

I heard it as he was actually keen to do it because I think after all that time his disdain for the franchise had kind of dissipated but it was the producers/writers who put the kibosh on the whole thing because they thought it would be the witcher sex scenes too much.

I'm a big Quantum and SPECTRE booster, I think Quantum just got shafted by the writers strike so the overall spy story kind of got lost, but I like because it feels like something a spy might actually have to deal with, foreign powers basically bilking their constituents through less obvious means rather than threatening to nuke the earth and live in space. It has some nice character moments, particularly the end with the necklace, Mathieu Amalric being suitably creepy as the villian, some awesome action scenes like the fight on the ropes at the beginning, and the fiery hotel was actually really cool, if a little contrived. It's one of the few movies where a directors cut should be longer to give the overall story a little more definition and explanation.

Also David Harbour needs to come back as the moustachioed CIA guy, his character was great.

I feel like Casino Royale brought in an entire new generation of fans who weren't really familiar with the series as a whole, they may have seen Goldeneye or Die Another Day, but their only real exposure came through Casino, and SPECTRE is basically Craig doing a Moore film. People just weren't used to the silliness and campy nature of the series, even if Connery's were kinda straight (YOLT and DAF excluded), the simple fact that it was made in the 60's and 70's gives a real good kitschy factor that I lump them in the same category. They were never about smart or gripping stories, they were vehicles designed to send Bond to an exotic locale to shoot some dudes or do some sightseeing, so when SPECTRE rolls around and is full of that stuff (like Blofeld being his half-brother is so stupid, but it fits right in to those early films) the current audience who only know the Craig films complained about the story not making any sense or the characters not having any meaningful motivations when that's really been a hallmark since the beginning kind of missed the boat a little? Not that that justifies the tepid response but it delivered everything I wanted out of a modern Bond movie so I was real happy with it.

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Dec 25, 1991


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I don't buy into the whole "James Bond is a code name" theory, but my god, how awesome would it be to have the villain of a Bond flick be an actual James Bond. And I'm not talking Alec Trevelyn; I'm talking full-on real-deal James Bond as a bad guy fighting a newer, younger James Bond. Like, imagine if it was Lazenby or Dalton; the dudes who got shafted by circumstance and timing.

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Barudak
May 7, 2007



Introduce the new Bond by having an opening scene with Craig in a protracted battle before he lines up to look at his opponent through a scope before being blown away, his killer spinning in time to see and fire. Next scene is MI-6, M handing the killer passports and other document papers “Congratulations, James Bond. Long may you live”

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Sep 12, 2003



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GoldenEye, in my opinion, is the best bond film; it has just the right amount of campiness, action, and style. Famke Janssen's villain is easily one of the most memorable ones, too.

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, having loved it as a kid (first Bond movie in theaters!) - it just seems like a tasteless victory lap by the "west" over the Soviet Union. The main villain has a former Soviet commander and an ultra-feminist who literally uses her sexuality to kill as his underlings. His mode of transport is an old Soviet missile train. The ultimate plan is to rob London of all its money, and redistribute it to his masses. Even his base of operations is located in Cuba, further linking him to the idea of "the radical left." James Bond, on the other hand, is dismissed outright by his new (female) superior as a "dinosaur" and a "relic," but that's exactly what's needed to stop this new Marxist threat. There's even an entire action setpiece based around destroying Soviet statuary with their own tanks while Bond jauntily adjusts his tie and winks knowingly at the audience. It's been a few years since I've watched GoldenEye, so I might have to go back and re-evaluate it, but I just remember it leaving a bad taste in my mouth (and ears, good God almighty the soundtrack is trash).

Now Tomorrow Never Dies? For some reason, I could watch that movie on repeat - whatever flaws the movie might have melt away whenever Jonathan Pryce is onscreen eating the entire set dressing. If I had to choose a favorite it would probably be For Your Eyes Only, with a nice mix of goofy Roger Moore clowning and stone-cold murder Roger Moore, and one of the best soundtracks in the series.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


I thought Sean Bean just wanted to steal all the money and keep it all for himself.

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Samuel Clemens
Oct 4, 2013

I think we should call the Avengers.



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I don't buy into the whole "James Bond is a code name" theory, but my god, how awesome would it be to have the villain of a Bond flick be an actual James Bond. And I'm not talking Alec Trevelyn; I'm talking full-on real-deal James Bond as a bad guy fighting a newer, younger James Bond. Like, imagine if it was Lazenby or Dalton; the dudes who got shafted by circumstance and timing.

My friend, have you heard about the masterpiece that is the 1967 hot mature porn pictures Casino Royale?

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I thought Sean Bean just wanted to steal all the money and keep it all for himself.

He does; but he's gotta keep all those people in the Control Center in his employ somehow. What got me on this tangent was one of the first establishing shots of said Control Center, where an elderly-ish looking woman is walking by the giant GoldenEye control screen - the Janus Syndicate clearly has no discriminatory hiring policies, and I'm willing to bet they've signed conditionally based employment contracts on the idea that they will receive their payout at the end of the operation.



Though, considering the name of the organization and the EXTREME amount of betraying 006 was doing, I wouldn't put it past him to screw Janus Grandma out of her retirement fund.

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Sep 22, 2006

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It's been a few years since I've watched GoldenEye, so I might have to go back and re-evaluate it, but I just remember it leaving a bad taste in my mouth (and ears, good God almighty the soundtrack is trash).
David Arnold described it as "someone throwing dustbins down an elevator shaft". (Although I have to say I genuinely like 'The Goldeneye Overture' - the opening piece where Serra rearranges the classic Bond theme on kettle drums - and 'Run, Jump and Shoot' when Brosnan is chasing Bean around the dish.)

I only recently discovered that Arnold's score for the ice palace car chase in Die Another Day, which sounds really weedy and underwhelming on screen, was mullered in the mix. The original version has a big techno underpinning, which makes it a lot more propulsive, that's been completely erased in the actual movie.

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Aug 3, 2010

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I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, having loved it as a kid (first Bond movie in theaters!) - it just seems like a tasteless victory lap by the "west" over the Soviet Union. The main villain has a former Soviet commander and an ultra-feminist who literally uses her sexuality to kill as his underlings. His mode of transport is an old Soviet missile train. The ultimate plan is to rob London of all its money, and redistribute it to his masses. Even his base of operations is located in Cuba, further linking him to the idea of "the radical left." James Bond, on the other hand, is dismissed outright by his new (female) superior as a "dinosaur" and a "relic," but that's exactly what's needed to stop this new Marxist threat. There's even an entire action setpiece based around destroying Soviet statuary with their own tanks while Bond jauntily adjusts his tie and winks knowingly at the audience. It's been a few years since I've watched GoldenEye, so I might have to go back and re-evaluate it, but I just remember it leaving a bad taste in my mouth (and ears, good God almighty the soundtrack is trash).

For a long time, I had a theory that the reason so many folks online seemed to love Goldeneye was because they were all young people on the internet, back in the days of the early message boards. Goldeneye was their first Bond film, and as a result there was a strong recency bias. Also, they probably loved the Goldeneye video game.

However, it is now more than two decades later, and lots of people still think Goldeneye is one of the best Bond films. Obviously a lot of people (of all ages) genuinely love that film.

For me, it is the best of the Brosnan films...but that's not saying much. The four Brosnan films feel increasingly bland and formulaic, and his Bond often feels like little more than a male model designed to sell watches and vodka. I say that as someone who really likes Pierce Brosnan, in everything but the Bond films.

One reason I found Spectre so hugely underwhelming is that is seemed to be a strong return to that formula. Any time they break away from it is a good thing, though I know there are a lot of fans of more traditional Bond films. Even a deeply flawed film like Dalton's License to Kill is more interesting to me than Brosnan's films, or Spectre.

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You're never going to be able to put your finger on one thing as to why Goldeneye is/was so popular. It came along when a lot of people were kinda down on Bond, Dalton had just opted out and there wasn't a ton of optimism about the series when Brosnan signed on. Goldeneye was a reboot in a lot of ways. They brought in Dench, who became iconic, and unlike The Living Daylights and License to Kill, it does not feel like an 80's action movie. It feels fresh compared to what came before.

Then there's the video game, so much of the love for the movie is wrapped up in the love for the game. And it's an incredibly effective movie/game adaptation too, you can play the game and it'll make you want to watch the movie. Then you sit down and watch the movie and you can pick out all these little moments that were recreated in the game. Now, if the movie itself was garbage probably none of this would matter, but taken on it's own merits it's actually a very solid Bond flick, so all of these things combine and make for a very memorable movie. Being memorable is half the battle for Bond anyway, those Moore Bond films tend to run together for so many people because they aren't nearly as well defined in most people's memory.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

I don't think the success of Goldeneye needs any explanation other than simply being a good, solid action flick in a series with maybe 6 truly decent movies. The opening sequence is incredible, the script isn't too offensively awful, and it moves at a fine pace. Brosnan has the right combination of physicality and charm in the role and everybody appears to be having a good time.

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Now Tomorrow Never Dies? For some reason, I could watch that movie on repeat - whatever flaws the movie might have melt away whenever Jonathan Pryce is onscreen eating the entire set dressing. If I had to choose a favorite it would probably be For Your Eyes Only, with a nice mix of goofy Roger Moore clowning and stone-cold murder Roger Moore, and one of the best soundtracks in the series.
I always feel like TND is somewhat less than the sum of its parts. Michelle Yeoh is great, the motorcycle chase is a lot of fun, Jonathan Pryce is hamming it up like nobody's business...but somehow the whole thing never quite clicks for me, and I always end up enjoying it less than I'd like. The World is Not Enough is the opposite for me; it's not without its flaws, like Denise Richards and some unmemorable action sequences and Denise Richards, but it's got a great villain, a nicely darker tone, lets M play a bigger role, and I really enjoy it overall. It's also got the best song of the Brosnan era.

On the subject of Brosnan, I'll also admit to having a soft spot for Die Another Day. Like, it's a terrible movie, but it's one that has a lot of fun in being stupid. Compare to, say, A View to a Kill, which commits the double sin of being bad and boring.

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Like, imagine if it was Lazenby or Dalton; the dudes who got shafted by circumstance and timing.
Timothy Dalton as a Bond villain would be goddamn amazing.

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Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

The World Is Not Enough is such a freakin' good Bond song.

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Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


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I always feel like TND is somewhat less than the sum of its parts. Michelle Yeoh is great, the motorcycle chase is a lot of fun, Jonathan Pryce is hamming it up like nobody's business...but somehow the whole thing never quite clicks for me, and I always end up enjoying it less than I'd like. The World is Not Enough is the opposite for me; it's not without its flaws, like Denise Richards and some unmemorable action sequences and Denise Richards, but it's got a great villain, a nicely darker tone, lets M play a bigger role, and I really enjoy it overall. It's also got the best song of the Brosnan era.

It's the other way around for me. I feel like I've watched TWINE more often than any other Bond movie, but what I think's actually happened is that I've sexy girl models nude started watching it more than any other one. Definitely the best song for Brosnan's movies, though.

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Sep 22, 2006

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Timothy Dalton as a Bond villain would be goddamn amazing.
The Rocketeer and Hot Fuzz should give a pretty good approximation.

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Dec 15, 2006


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The World Is Not Enough is such a freakin' good Bond song.

Definitely one of the best

Also I may be in the minority but I actually like the Goldeneye soundtrack in a not at all subtle 90s kind of way

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Jul 24, 2007

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Tomorrow Never Dies is great. They are rebooting this series already again? They really only had a single good movie with skyfall and all the rest kinda sucked.

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Aug 6, 2005

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I feel like Casino Royale brought in an entire new generation of fans who weren't really familiar with the series as a whole, they may have seen Goldeneye or Die Another Day, but their only real exposure came through Casino, and SPECTRE is basically Craig doing a Moore film. People just weren't used to the silliness and campy nature of the series, even if Connery's were kinda straight (YOLT and DAF excluded), the simple fact that it was made in the 60's and 70's gives a real good kitschy factor that I lump them in the same category. They were never about smart or gripping stories, they were vehicles designed to send Bond to an exotic locale to shoot some dudes or do some sightseeing, so when SPECTRE rolls around and is full of that stuff (like Blofeld being his half-brother is so stupid, but it fits right in to those early films) the current audience who only know the Craig films complained about the story not making any sense or the characters not having any meaningful motivations when that's really been a hallmark since the beginning kind of missed the boat a little? Not that that justifies the tepid response but it delivered everything I wanted out of a modern Bond movie so I was real happy with it.

Disagree. The "twist" about Blofeld being Bond's brother doesn't fit right into the old Bond movies, it fits right into Austin Powers because that was literally from Austin Powers. Their attempt to retcon the previous Craig movies was also totally unnecessary. Neither element added anything to the plot, and Blofeld doesn't need any motivation beyond world domination.

It's such a shame because I think Spectre has one of the best pre-title sequences in the series, but it all goes downhill from there. I thought Skyfall worked as a 50th anniversary retrospective of the series without ever feeling too kitschy or self-referential, but with Spectre they attempted to make a direct throwback movie (see blatant references to OHMSS and FRWL) and came out with something that felt like a lifeless imitation as a result.

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Tomorrow Never Dies is great. They are rebooting this series already again? They really only had a single good movie with skyfall and all the rest kinda sucked.

Craig has one more movie left.

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Dec 25, 1991


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I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, having loved it as a kid (first Bond movie in theaters!) - it just seems like a tasteless victory lap by the "west" over the Soviet Union. The main villain has a former Soviet commander and an ultra-feminist who literally uses her sexuality to kill as his underlings. His mode of transport is an old Soviet missile train. The ultimate plan is to rob London of all its money, and redistribute it to his masses. Even his base of operations is located in Cuba, further linking him to the idea of "the radical left." James Bond, on the other hand, is dismissed outright by his new (female) superior as a "dinosaur" and a "relic," but that's exactly what's needed to stop this new Marxist threat. There's even an entire action setpiece based around destroying Soviet statuary with their own tanks while Bond jauntily adjusts his tie and winks knowingly at the audience. It's been a few years since I've watched GoldenEye, so I might have to go back and re-evaluate it, but I just remember it leaving a bad taste in my mouth (and ears, good God almighty the soundtrack is trash).

reminder that 006's motivation is the "betrayal" of his nazi collaborator cossack parents by repatriation to the soviet union

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Wandle Cax
Dec 15, 2006


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Tomorrow Never Dies is great. They are rebooting this series already again? They really only had a single good movie with skyfall and all the rest kinda sucked.

Casino Royale kinda sucked?

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Unmature
May 9, 2008


Casino Royale is the best Bond movie and it's not even close

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Connery is too old to reprise the role.

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Dink say goodbye to Felix, man talk!

I saw Goldfinger in a theatre a few years ago and all of the casual sexism created a lot of uncomfortable laughter.

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