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Payndz
Sep 22, 2006

teen trip to israel They smelled of pubs, and Wormwood Scrubs, and too many right-wing meetings.

So I twatted them with a magic yo-yo. Because, hell, why not?


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Craig has one more movie left.
Craig saying that he wants to do one more Bond because he wants to "go out on a high note" made me smile, because it makes it very clear that even the star thought Spectre wasn't one.

I read the script recently because I was sure I must have forgotten some explanation of how Blofeld could possibly have orchestrated everything that happened to Bond in the previous films as part of some master plan to torment his "brother". Nope; they really did just go "yes, it was all me!" and leave it at that.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


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I read the script recently because I was sure I must have forgotten some explanation of how Blofeld could possibly have orchestrated everything that happened to Bond in the previous films as part of some master plan to torment his "brother". Nope; they really did just go "yes, it was all me!" and leave it at that.

I'm not sure who decided James Bond movies needed to have an overarching storyline (both with the clumsy retrofitting in guy pissing in pussy Spectre and the attempted direct sequel in under age asian porn Quantum of Solace) or why. It's like hot naked super modles Sherlock: this white girl hairy pussy looks very nice, but we just want you to solve some mysteries.

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Steve2911
Jan 22, 2013

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Ehh I don't mind there being some connective tissue as long as it's handled well. It just wasn't here.

I'm more interested in seeing Bond grow as a character throughout the films rather than some big master plan plot though.

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


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Casino Royale is the best Bond movie and it's not even close

it's the second best if you put it and quantum together as one mega-movie

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LesterGroans
Jun 9, 2009

It's funny...

You were so scary at night.


Skyfall's petty blah and is almost completely propped up by the cinematography.

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Electronico6
Feb 25, 2011



Next Bond movie should be about James going into the private sector cause the Brits agreed in a referendum to sink the whole island.

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davidspackage
May 16, 2007

The world no longer makes sense, but it is far more interesting.

Fun Shoe

I really liked the attempt at introducing some continuity, and giving Bond a bit of fragility. Spectre just did nothing for me despite the cast.

Nthing the love for the World Is Not Enough's theme song though. That one and Sheryl Crow's Tomorrow Never Dies theme are on my regular playlist.

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LORD OF BOOTY
Feb 11, 2015

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Skyfall's petty blah and is almost completely propped up by the cinematography.

God free porn film clips loving drat, that cinematography, though.

Skyfall's the only Bond I've seen in theaters more than once and it was worth it.

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Sentinel Red
Nov 13, 2007
Style > Content.

Agreed. That cinematography is probably better than that of every other film released that year combined. I don't really care for the film in a lot ways but it's goddamn stunning to look at.

How the hell Deakins only just got his first Oscar this week is beyond me.

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Payndz
Sep 22, 2006

little white girls nude They smelled of pubs, and Wormwood Scrubs, and too many right-wing meetings.

So I twatted them with a magic yo-yo. Because, hell, why not?


Skyfall seemed to come too soon. We went from Bond's first mission, directly followed by his second mission in QoS... then suddenly he's a washed-up, jaded, self-doubting burnout who fails miserably at everything he does. Fifth or sixth film, maybe, but the third?

Also, Silva's such a mastermind planner that he knows to the second when he can drop a loving free online xxx porno tube train on Bond and exactly where and when M will be attending a secret government hearing despite having been locked in an isolation cell, but he didn't foresee that she might leave him to die on a mission where he was given a literal suicide pill. What was he expecting?

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Violator
May 15, 2003



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Also, Silva's such a mastermind planner that he knows to the second when he can drop a loving nude hilary duff pictures tube train on Bond and exactly where and when M will be attending a secret government hearing despite having been locked in an isolation cell, but he didn't foresee that she might leave him to die on a mission where he was given a literal suicide pill. What was he expecting?

That's the whole point, isn't it? He took her as a motherly figure, and she took him as dispensable employee. Her betrayal drove him to become a mastermind, whereas before he was just a very good agent. Even Bond himself went through this at the beginning of the movie when taking the shot was more important than his life.

Isn't "all agents are orphans" part of the modern Bond mythology? Or did I just read that somewhere as a fan theory?

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Cacator
Aug 6, 2005

You're quite good at turning me on.

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Skyfall seemed to come too soon. We went from Bond's first mission, directly followed by his second mission in QoS... then suddenly he's a washed-up, jaded, self-doubting burnout who fails miserably at everything he does. Fifth or sixth film, maybe, but the third?

It was the 50th anniversary of the series so you're not supposed to view Bond as still a fresh 00 agent but someone who's been in the game for way too long. It's not meant to be a direct follow-up to QoS.

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Unmature
May 9, 2008


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Skyfall seemed to come too soon. We went from Bond's first mission, directly followed by his second mission in QoS... then suddenly he's a washed-up, jaded, self-doubting burnout who fails miserably at everything he does. Fifth or sixth film, maybe, but the third?

I always imagine it goes Casino Royale - Quantum - Dr. No through Die Another Day - Skyfall

I like the arc and continuity, I just wish they did it better in Spectre. Make Blofeld an opportunist or something who saw these things happening and jumped in, but not in control from the beginning. I would've just been happy if we learned Quantum worked for or was SPECTRE.

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Violator
May 15, 2003



quote:

Due to the embargo placed on the series as a result of the copyright dispute, the rebooted series introduced a new terrorist cell known as Quantum, which is later revealed to be a subsidiary of Spectre. Starting with Casino Royale, it is revealed Le Chiffre and a reluctant Vesper Lynd are part of the group, serving under the mysterious Mr. White. Quantum of Solace elaborates the eponymous group, presenting Quantum as an amalgam of powerful business people and government operatives.

It is not until the release of Spectre that Spectre makes an appearance in the rebooted series, placing Quantum as a subsection of the wider organisation with Blofeld (Christoph Waltz) the mastermind behind previous films—including Raoul Silva's vengeful rampage in Skyfall—taunting Bond with his previous failures and setting up a more traditional rendition of the Bond mythos for future instalments. Spectre presents the organisation as a conspiracy of legitimate businesses and organised crime, moving to become a private intelligence agency.

I didn't realize there was a big thing about the history, storyline, and characters of Spectre on Wikipedia. Pretty interesting to read through.

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asecondduck
Feb 18, 2011

Wait. What the heck happened to the first duck?


I hate the million steps they took the character backward in Skyfall, and Spectre was a mediocre followup.

If you combined the plots of the two films and took out the sexism/misogyny that should have been left back in the 60s/70s you might have a good film.

Honestly I think the idea of recasting Bond for every film is a good one. Start fresh every time. Every one of my favorite Bond films has been the first or second of each actors run, it’s pretty obvious that as the actor ages or cinematic tastes change they have trouble making the current established Bond work. You could keep some characters consistent across films (M, Q, maybe even a villain) and even keep a Bond around for a film or two if there’s a legitimate reason to but this whole “same Bond until he’s either too old or fed up with the character” thing they’ve been doing is pretty obviously detrimental to the franchise.

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Unmature
May 9, 2008


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I hate the million steps they took the character backward in Skyfall, and Spectre was a mediocre followup.

What do you mean by this?

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Steve2911
Jan 22, 2013

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It's not meant to be a direct follow-up to QoS.

It is in terms of Craig's run. I don't think they put a date on it but it always seemed to me that it was a few years after QoS (and Spectre follows it in turn). Which is secret agent time is like 4 decades.

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esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




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Casino Royale is the best Bond movie and it's not even close

GoldenEye
From Russia With Love
Casino Royale

Then everything else imo.

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Electronico6
Feb 25, 2011



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GoldenEye
From Russia With Love
Casino Royale

Then everything else imo.

I would add On Her Majesty's Secret Service, because Diana Rigg is the best, and that ice skating rink entrance is probably the best scene in this dumb franchise.

Also the theme tune is some wild stuff.

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esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




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I would add On Her Majesty's Secret Service, because Diana Rigg is the best, and that ice skating rink entrance is probably the best scene in this dumb franchise.

Also the theme tune is some wild stuff.

Excellent points.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Someone should supercut all the best scenes from the Moore chronology to make one good Bond film that doesn’t drag on for a million years.

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asecondduck
Feb 18, 2011

Wait. What the heck happened to the first duck?


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What do you mean by this?

James (and the film as a whole) reverts back to being terribly misogynistic. Immediately after he’s told that his companion is a former sex slave, he immediately invades her personal space and and forces himself on her. When Silva tells Bond to shoot the shot glass off the same woman’s head later in the film, James doesn’t attempt some daring escape (like he would have in literally any other of his films), instead he chooses to shoot—and misses. He is then not terribly concerned that he caused the woman’s death.

The misogyny extends elsewhere in the film—every decision M makes is shown to be the wrong one. Moneypenny makes a mistake and is instantly downgraded to being a secretary.

Like, I understand that misogyny is a part of the character in the earlier films, and I can still watch and even enjoy the Connery films because I recognize that they’re an incredibly flawed product of their time. There is, however, no defense for making an unapologetically misogynistic film in 2012. Oh, and the “it’s an intentional throwback!” arguement is terrible. You don’t see Warner Bros putting out cartoons with characters in blackface “because it’s a throwback!”. Most media companies understand that their long running works have problems and either ignore or go out of their way to subvert said issues when they revisit those properties.

To add insult to injury, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace handled their “Bond girls” and gender politics incredibly well. So EON knows how to do it right—they just didn’t care to get it right in Skyfall.

It does have some of the best cinematography of the series, though. I will allow it that.

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Sep 12, 2003



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Someone should supercut all the best scenes from the Moore chronology to make one good Bond film that doesn’t drag on for a million years.

It's gonna be really confusing when the only scenes they pull from Octopussy involve him dressing up as a clown, while they also keep 80% of For Your Eyes Only. As far as theme songs go, I know the movie itself is pretty crap, but you guys, the best theme song is easily Duran Duran's "A View to a Kill."

When CD was just formed I posted 2 Bond threads with polls for Best and Worst Bond movies; the overall consensus at the time (pre-Quantum of Solace, I believe) was that From Russia With Love, GoldenEye, and Goldfinger were everyone's top 3, while Die Another Day, A View to a Kill, and Moonraker were consistently trashed. Moore's movies were the most divisive, but the community was brought together over shared dislike for Scaramanga's superfluous nipple, while celebrating the following movie and it's ancient, web-appendaged Stromberg. Oh, and everyone loved OHMSS, but the sped-up fight scenes and that line (this never happened to the other guy!) helped lose it a top 3 spot.

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asecondduck
Feb 18, 2011

Wait. What the heck happened to the first duck?


Die Another Day is actually a pretty fun, but incredibly, unbelievably dumb, early 00's action film. It's probably my second favorite Brosnan film, though that's because I think Tomorrow Never Dies was mostly boring (Steve Jobs just doesn't make for a compelling baddie) and The World is Not Enough is... eugh.

Also, the opening sequence for Die Another Day is among the series' best.

My favorites are pretty generic. From Russia With Love, OHMSS, Live and Let Die, Goldeneye, Casino Royale. Basically one for every Bond. Don't ask me to rank them though.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


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Also, the opening sequence for Die Another Day is among the series' best.

"I was left to rat in that naaaiiirth kareean prisan fer soo lawn!"

He really doesn't bother keeping his accent in check in that one. There's one other really egregious bit in TWINE where he introduces himself to Denise Richards with, "The name's anime hentai sex game Band. James male celebrity naked pictures Band."

You know I've been wondering recently if the 1999 remake of sex with friend story The Thomas Crown Affair wasn't written with Connery in mind, seeing as Crown is written as Scottish in that version.

My favourite for each actor is katie rees nude photos Goldfinger (I think porn star amber lynn From Russia With Love is probably a better movie overall, but I've always had the most fun with love sex magic song Goldfinger), OHMSS (by process of elimination), arabic free porn movies The Spy Who Loved Me (the ideal for a Roger Moore Bond movie in my view), naked black girls gallery Licence to Kill (but only recently), nude girls sex games GoldenEye and porno in the school Casino Royale.

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Sep 12, 2003



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Die Another Day is actually a pretty fun, but incredibly, unbelievably dumb, early 00's action film. It's probably my second favorite Brosnan film, though that's because I think Tomorrow Never Dies was mostly boring (Steve Jobs just doesn't make for a compelling baddie) and The World is Not Enough is... eugh.

Also, the opening sequence for Die Another Day is among the series' best.

My favorites are pretty generic. From Russia With Love, OHMSS, Live and Let Die, Goldeneye, Casino Royale. Basically one for every Bond. Don't ask me to rank them though.

Die Another Day's opening sequence leading up to... discovering Zao was still alive / the swordfight in the club was a pretty good start to a James Bond movie. Disavowed by MI6 due to a bungled mission only to discover he was betrayed by someone on the inside should have made for a compelling second half, and yet we got an Ice Palace / Hothouse dungeon straight from a Final Fantasy game, before the space laser airship finale. At least Toby Stephens is having a blast as Gustav Graves - his delivery of "Oh look! Parachutes, for the both of us! (throws one out of the plane) Whoops!" is one of my favorite Bond villain bits in the series, it just oozes contempt and smarm.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


It's been forever since I watched coco naked in playboy Die Another Day but I'm pretty confident I'd like it better than TWINE if I did.

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Barudak
May 7, 2007



Die Another Day is maximum Bond Camp, which means we get some really dumb poo poo, some super sumb poo poo they thought the youth were into at the time, and then somethings that are actually interesting and clever which are nothing but a swerve to catch you unawares as something else extremely stupid happens.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


I know Sony were keen to try and spin a Halle Berry solo spin-off out of it (co-starring Michael Madsen as DAMIAN FALCO, I presume) but for years now I've had this idea that there were versions of the poster where she was posed in front of Brosnan; was that true or have I just misremembered it?

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

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It's gonna be really confusing when the only scenes they pull from Octopussy involve him dressing up as a clown, while they also keep 80% of For Your Eyes Only. As far as theme songs go, I know the movie itself is pretty crap, but you guys, the best theme song is easily Duran Duran's "A View to a Kill."

LOL I was just thinking the same thing about Octopussy.

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Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

Roger Moore's Bond movies are the only ones that just completely bounce off me and I cannot seem to distinguish between them(outside of Moonraker I guess because of the space setting). They just all run together for me and none of them really stand out. I've never really put my finger on exactly why that is, if it's Moore himself or just a run of boring stories.

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Electronico6
Feb 25, 2011



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James (and the film as a whole) reverts back to being terribly misogynistic. Immediately after he’s told that his companion is a former sex slave, he immediately invades her personal space and and forces himself on her. When Silva tells Bond to shoot the shot glass off the same woman’s head later in the film, James doesn’t attempt some daring escape (like he would have in literally any other of his films), instead he chooses to shoot—and misses. He is then not terribly concerned that he caused the woman’s death.

The misogyny extends elsewhere in the film—every decision M makes is shown to be the wrong one. Moneypenny makes a mistake and is instantly downgraded to being a secretary.

Like, I understand that misogyny is a part of the character in the earlier films, and I can still watch and even enjoy the Connery films because I recognize that they’re an incredibly flawed product of their time. There is, however, no defense for making an unapologetically misogynistic film in 2012. Oh, and the “it’s an intentional throwback!” arguement is terrible. You don’t see Warner Bros putting out cartoons with characters in blackface “because it’s a throwback!”. Most media companies understand that their long running works have problems and either ignore or go out of their way to subvert said issues when they revisit those properties.

To add insult to injury, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace handled their “Bond girls” and gender politics incredibly well. So EON knows how to do it right—they just didn’t care to get it right in Skyfall.

It does have some of the best cinematography of the series, though. I will allow it that.

Skyfall is Sam Mendes being very mad about his divorce from Kate Winslet.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


I think marathi sex stories pdf Octopussy has the overall worst song.

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Electronico6
Feb 25, 2011



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I think fantasy celebrity sex stories Octopussy has the overall worst song.

Much like the movie, it's just worthless. Die another Day song is also bad, but at least it has Madonna singing about Freud and poo poo. Just baffling.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

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Roger Moore's Bond movies are the only ones that just completely bounce off me and I cannot seem to distinguish between them(outside of Moonraker I guess because of the space setting). They just all run together for me and none of them really stand out. I've never really put my finger on exactly why that is, if it's Moore himself or just a run of boring stories.

It's weird. I like Roger Moore's take on Bond the most, but some of his scripts were real stinkers and even his better movies have segments that can really drag. For Your Eyes Only and The Spy Who Loved Me are his two best and all the others have some major problems.

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peekaboo gangster
Sep 12, 2003



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I think free 3d family sex Octopussy has the overall worst song.

My fiancee and I are steadily going through the series as she'd never seen a Bond movie, and I was actively looking forward to Octopussy because I remembered General Orlov being a good, intimidating villain, and she loves Indian movies, so hey - Bond in India! Perfect! As it turned out, I had apparently shut literally everything else about the movie out of my mind, like the entire Fabrege Egg plot, Bond's worthless connection to Octopussy herself (he let her father kill himself instead of get extradited back to Britain for trial?), and how painfully bad Kamal Khan is. He's the main villain, right? He wears the Nehru jackets and has a large, silent henchman in Gobinda, but he spends most of the movie getting poo poo on by various people - at one point, he goes to Octopussy to tell her Bond is snooping around, be careful. Octopussy then reveals that not only does she know this, she's hanging out with Bond. The world's largest cuck in the 1981 is who James Bond is pitted against? I'd buy a fistfight between him and fish-hand Stromberg before I'd buy Louis Jordan as a credible threat. Not to mention during the climax, Bond is able to annoy Gobinda to death off the plane with a well-timed antennae whap, and then Khan... just kinda crashes his plane? We both decided this was easily Moore's worst movie, worse than View to a Kill, a film where a blimp sneaks up on a woman. Octopussy is a complete waste of a movie.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


It has a scene where Gobinda demonstrates how tough he is by crushing a pair of backgammon dice in his fist. Not quite as impressive as it was 20 years earlier when it was Oddjob doing the same thing to a pair of golf balls.

eve rapper nude pics The Spy Who Loved Me was supposed to be a SPECTRE story at one stage until the rights problem reared its head, so Stromberg was going to be Blofeld at some point.

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


TWINE had a really good villain in Renard that they did absolutely gently caress-all with. A dude who can’t feel pain and knows he’s on a death clock has enormous possibilities to get really bonkers with, but they kept him weirdly low key.

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Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


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TWINE had a really good villain in Renard that they did absolutely gently caress-all with. A dude who can’t feel pain and knows he’s on a death clock has enormous possibilities to get really bonkers with, but they kept him weirdly low key.

Played by a fantastic actor too, Robert Carlyle. Check out free oral porn movies Ravenous for an idea of how great Carlyle could've been as a Bond villain if they hadn't completely wasted him.

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Sep 12, 2003



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TWINE had a really good villain in Renard that they did absolutely gently caress-all with. A dude who can’t feel pain and knows he’s on a death clock has enormous possibilities to get really bonkers with, but they kept him weirdly low key.

It makes sense, considering the twist of the movie is Elektra King being the main antagonist, with him fulfilling the "Jaws" role of henchman. Well, one of the fifteen hundred twists. TWINE's biggest problem was that there's all the elements of a good Bond movie there, along with three other movies, and they're very clumsily jammed together.

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