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bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006



The best Bond car was the Citroen 2cv

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asecondduck
Feb 18, 2011

Wait. What the heck happened to the first duck?


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Alternate Bond title songs can be a fun rabbit hole to go down as a lot of the time they come off as completely inappropriate (Johnny Cash? Alice Cooper? Ace of Base!) with the notable exception of james big brother nude which is far superior to the one they ended up using.

There’s also the “they weren’t actually asked to but they wrote a Bond theme anyway!” songs. I’ve been meaning to put together a playlist but the first three that come to mind are:

Robert DeLong - Long Way Down: monica bellucci nude vids

Muse - Supremacy: manon thomas sex tape

The Last Shadow Puppets - My Mistakes Were Made For You: amy fisher sex scene

Also there’s also Radiohead - Man O’War - free lesbian clip download

Though that last one doesn’t really count because it was intended for the soundtrack for The Avengers (not the MCU one, the film adaptation of the British TV show). They’re obviously leveraging the Bond motif in it, though.

[Edit: bonus listening: Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground: porn ass and tits. I didn’t realize it until long after the song came out, but it samples part of the Goldfinger score.]

[Another edit: I just remembered that I recut Spectre's credits to fit Radiohead's song instead awhile ago, but it was instantly copyright struck off YouTube. Maybe it'll fair better on Vimeo? Here's a link: hot nude collage girls]

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


Gary Kemp always wanted Spandu Ballet to do a Bond theme and was really annoyed that Duran Duran were asked instead. I remember he was doing a commentary on his songs once and for one of them he said it was written with the idea that it could potentially be a James Bond theme, but I don't remember which one it was.

Probably "Gold".

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


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Alternate Bond title songs can be a fun rabbit hole to go down as a lot of the time they come off as completely inappropriate (Johnny Cash? Alice Cooper? Ace of Base!) with the notable exception of phim sex chat luong which is far superior to the one they ended up using.

people insist the kd lang tomorrow never dies theme is superior but i like the sheryl crow song more

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


best brosnan song by a mile is, of course, the world is not enough

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FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014



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Not to detail the thread, but I agree a new female secret agent franchise would be better. The only decent one I've seen was Nikita but to a chick dope enough to join James Bond and Ethan Hunt would be badass.

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Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
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It's again still crazy to me that a solo Black Widow movie hasn't happened.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


I'm very interested in seeing what (if anything) comes from the arabic girls for sex Avengers reboot Shane Black and Fred Dekker are supposedly doing.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Atomic Blonde was pretty cool but super violent I thought, more like a Tony Scott spy thriller less Bond-level goofy.

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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

Dispensing unwanted fitness advice since 2005. P.S. Squat more! BEEFCAKE!!!

Make an Ipcress File franchise.

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Feb 29, 2008

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Atomic Blonde was pretty cool but super violent I thought, more like a Tony Scott spy thriller less Bond-level goofy.

Depends on the context. If you're comparing it to Bond, yea it's more intense and violent. But it was directed by one of the guys who made John Wick, so in that context it's much less graphically violent.

It's a really fun mix, the stylish action but with the Cold War-era Berlin backdrop.

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iSheep
Feb 5, 2006

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There’s also the “they weren’t actually asked to but they wrote a Bond theme anyway!” songs. I’ve been meaning to put together a playlist but the first three that come to mind are:

Robert DeLong - Long Way Down: lisa ann sex scene

Muse - Supremacy: i like naked women

The Last Shadow Puppets - My Mistakes Were Made For You: britney murphy sex video

Also there’s also Radiohead - Man O’War - do christians have sex

Though that last one doesn’t really count because it was intended for the soundtrack for The Avengers (not the MCU one, the film adaptation of the British TV show). They’re obviously leveraging the Bond motif in it, though.

[Edit: bonus listening: Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground: watchmen sex scene review. I didn’t realize it until long after the song came out, but it samples part of the Goldfinger score.]

[Another edit: I just remembered that I recut Spectre's credits to fit Radiohead's song instead awhile ago, but it was instantly copyright struck off YouTube. Maybe it'll fair better on Vimeo? Here's a link: nude images of models]

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esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




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people insist the kd lang tomorrow never dies theme is superior but i like the sheryl crow song more

I loving love the Sheryl Crow song so goddamn much. Something about the way she sings it just hits me in a particularly hard way.

e: also I finally watched Atomic Blonde over the holiday, and I liked that movie a lot more than I expected to. I would gladly watch a series of films about Charlize Theron kicking rear end and having sex with beautiful women, especially if it continues to have ridiculous reveals like that triple turn at the end.

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


atomic blonde was a real bummer. just when you thought she was working for the good guys it turns out she was hot anime hentai sex american all along

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Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007



Danny Boyle has announced he is writing and directing Daniel Craig's final James Bond movie.

I am super into this.

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


Yeah, I’m super on-board with Boyle. He has the right mix of auteur and fun to deliver a really awesome Bond flick.

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


I wonder if Eon will ever drop Purvis and Wade. They've been writing or co-writing these things since TWINE.

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Timby
Dec 23, 2006

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I wonder if Eon will ever drop Purvis and Wade. They've been writing or co-writing these things since TWINE.

Isn't John Hodge developing the story idea Boyle had?

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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

Dispensing unwanted fitness advice since 2005. P.S. Squat more! BEEFCAKE!!!

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atomic blonde was a real bummer

Same for me, but just generally. I was hyped for it and it just didn't work for me.

Call me crazy but I liked Haywire better.

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Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007



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Same for me, but just generally. I was hyped for it and it just didn't work for me.

Call me crazy but I liked Haywire better.

that's not crazy, i liked Atomic Blonde fine but Haywire kicks rear end.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

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I loving love the Sheryl Crow song so goddamn much. Something about the way she sings it just hits me in a particularly hard way.

e: also I finally watched Atomic Blonde over the holiday, and I liked that movie a lot more than I expected to. I would gladly watch a series of films about Charlize Theron kicking rear end and having sex with beautiful women, especially if it continues to have ridiculous reveals like that triple turn at the end.

It looks like it did well enough for a sequel, $30 mil production budget for a $90 mil box office return. TBQH I'd watch Charlize Theron chew scenery in just about anything, I'm always impressed by the range of roles she can play and it is CRIMINAL she was not even nominated for Fury Road.

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Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

I thought I read somewhere that an Atomic Blonde sequel was definitely in the works. I love that Leitch and Stahelski came along and showed everyone that you can make a movie with totally satisfying action, with stylish cinematography, and do it for a reasonable budget where you don't have to bring in half a billion or more just to be considered successful. That there's a middle ground between huge franchise tentpoles and direct to video Atkins stuff.

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


finally watched spectre after missing it in the theater and: lmao

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


all the dumbass lines previously pointed out itt didn't disappoint but shoehorning blofeld onto the plot of every other craig movie is loving insane

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Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


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all the dumbass lines previously pointed out itt didn't disappoint but shoehorning blofeld onto the plot of every other craig movie is loving insane

I took my 85 year old grandfather to see Spectre and it was a complete disaster. My reasoning was hey, this is gonna be a bit of a throwback to the old Bond films that my grandfather remembers from the 60's and 70's, and he even knows the villain! This will be a movie he can totally get into and won't have any problem following!

So basically every plot beat fell flat for him, and the biggest moment, the big "author of all your pain" reveal, just made him confused as hell. I felt pretty bad about it.

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esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




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It looks like it did well enough for a sequel, $30 mil production budget for a $90 mil box office return. TBQH I'd watch Charlize Theron chew scenery in just about anything, I'm always impressed by the range of roles she can play and it is CRIMINAL she was not even nominated for Fury Road.

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I thought I read somewhere that an Atomic Blonde sequel was definitely in the works. I love that Leitch and Stahelski came along and showed everyone that you can make a movie with totally satisfying action, with stylish cinematography, and do it for a reasonable budget where you don't have to bring in half a billion or more just to be considered successful. That there's a middle ground between huge franchise tentpoles and direct to video Atkins stuff.

poo poo, I hope so. That movie was a blast.

This will probably come out weird, but I love how much of a loving beating she took in that movie. From what I can tell Theron did a lot of her own choreo and they sold the hell out of those fights, and she just kept loving going which made it all the more badass. Like she was simultaneously loving terrible and amazing at her job and I loved it.

e: i should probably get around to watching spectre one of these days

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Timby
Dec 23, 2006

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e: i should probably get around to watching spectre one of these days

There are far better ways to waste two and a half hours. Like, I don't know, burping Tupperware.

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Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

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I definitely wouldn't tell someone to just skip Spectre entirely, there's some good stuff in there. As was mentioned a page or two ago, the opener is worth the price of admission alone.


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This will probably come out weird, but I love how much of a loving beating she took in that movie. From what I can tell Theron did a lot of her own choreo and they sold the hell out of those fights, and she just kept loving going which made it all the more badass. Like she was simultaneously loving terrible and amazing at her job and I loved it.

I know what you mean, especially that one particular scene in the apartment building, she just won't stop. Then when there's nobody left to fight and she can barely stand, her eyes are still laser focused on her surroundings as she leads the defector out of the building. And Theron does a great job of selling the pain and exhaustion too, she'd probably make a great pro wrestler.

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Mar 20, 2007

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The opener to Spectre really was something to see on the big screen, up there with some of the best openings in the whole series. I don't dislike the movie overall, but I don't think it ever topped that first 10 minutes.

The movie definitely peaked for me there, and I found myself getting quite restless and disengaged as the film went on. I'd say it would have worked far better with the focus being put on Mr. Hinx as the primary antagonist, making him Bane to Bond's Batman, with a runtime of about 100~120 minutes.

What's the consensus on the whole "Bond and Blofeld were step-brothers!" angle? I loving hated it. I'd have preferred Blofeld's role to be much smaller, preferably as the guy who sics Hinx on to Bond, and as an overall malevolent presence that Bond knows he's going to have to take down sooner or later, rather than having that entire showdown at the end that, to me, felt rather tacked on.

I also didn't like that Madeleine Swann as reduced to a crying damsel in distress, which felt particularly egregious when it happened in the same calender year as Furiosa and Rey.

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Uncle Boogeyman
Jul 22, 2007



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What's the consensus on the whole "Bond and Blofeld were step-brothers!" angle? I loving hated it.

i can't imagine anyone liked it. wasn't that poo poo literally a plot point in the third Austin Powers movie?

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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

Fancy.


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What's the consensus on the whole "Bond and Blofeld were step-brothers!" angle? I loving hated it. I'd have preferred Blofeld's role to be much smaller, preferably as the guy who sics Hinx on to Bond, and as an overall malevolent presence that Bond knows he's going to have to take down sooner or later, rather than having that entire showdown at the end that, to me, felt rather tacked on.

Like I said before, think it's a bit of a Great Game angle, which I can take or leave when it comes to Bond.

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Fart City
Dec 17, 2016

Oh, well, that's all water under the bridge, as I always say. Water under the bridge!


The problem with the step-brothers angle is that it detracts from the overall concept of Bond as a secret agent by becoming too much about Bond himself, and not enough shout The Mission. He’s had personal connections and motivations regarding villains in the past, but those squabbles were always cast in the shadow of international intrigue (even Goldeneye is just a big-rear end heist caper at the end of the day). Bond’s entire purpose is to be a deniable, semi-invisible wrench in greater machinations. By making those machinations be constructed in service vanessa hugens nude pic to Bond, the espionage element is traded in for simple revenge. That’s fine for maybe a one-off movie like OHMSS or License To Kill, but is a huge disservice to something like the Casino Royale, or even Quantum Of Solace to an extent.

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Payndz
Sep 22, 2006

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"Blofeld is Bond's stepbrother and he's been working secretly for years to humiliate and destroy him!" was a load of bollocks. Way too many potential points of failure: what if Le Chiffre or the warlord guy or Quantum or Jools Holland or Silva or any one of the hundreds of other people ultimately working for Blofeld who tried to kill Bond had actually succeeded? Hell, what if Moneypenny had hit a few inches across and shot him in the heart? Blofeld would have looked a bit of a twat, all his long-rehearsed speeches going to waste.

I thought Silva's Joker-style super-mega-hyper-masterminding was bullshit, and Spectre doubled down on it by adding a layer of ultra-masterminding on top. Yeah, Blofeld is a smart guy, but don't have him predicting Bond's actions to the micron from the flap of a butterfly's wing on the other side of the world twenty years earlier.

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


it also really didn't make sense to throw silva in with dominic greene and le chiffre, when silva was clearly operating on his own as a revenge mission against m throughout skyfall. at least in casino royale and quantum you could buy there being a larger plan, because the plot infrastructure for an organization was already there

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991


to be honest the stepbrother stuff didn't bother me as much as the "it was all me, 007!" bit did, though (and i'm loath to say it) the brothers angle could have been helped with more elaboration throughout the movie or even a flashback

the ending also ruined swann as a character, and i'd expected the big plan at the end to be that blofeld lied and she wasn't even in the building, forcing bond to give up looking and think he'd left her to die

but no, standard villain poo poo. and then bond takes out a helicopter with a handgun

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FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002


It's Boyle, so this won't happen, but an after-credits stinger scene where M is chewing Bond out only to slowly reveal that the ambiguous ending resulted in CraigBond dead, and now Idris ElBond takes the helm would be pretty hype.

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Dec 24, 2012

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GoldenEye, in my opinion, is the best bond film; it has just the right amount of campiness, action, and style. Famke Janssen's villain is easily one of the most memorable ones, too.

Yeah it's my favorite Bond film but I can never tell if that's because of rose colored glasses or not

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esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

There are no such things as miracles.




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Yeah it's my favorite Bond film but I can never tell if that's because of rose colored glasses or not

It always holds up when I watch it, could be because I love it so much. But GoldenEye has always seemed to me like the perfect way to do a modern Bond film while still kind of calling back to its roots. The whole 'post-Cold War but the Russians are still the bad guys' thing was good and fun and clever, and Xenia is awesome and Natalya was also cool. It got serious and let Bond be serious, but was still funny and campy and incredibly British. Just a good mix all over and worked well tonally.

The cast in general in that movie was incredible, too. It was such a perfect storm for a great Bond flick.

gently caress it I'ma watch GoldenEye for the second time in like as many weeks.

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

I caught Goldeneye a couple years ago on TV and it still holds up imho. The opening sequence leading up to the runway stunt is still insane, the script isn't too terrible, and most importantly it does not waste the viewer's time, which is a rarity in Bond films.

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Sep 14, 2007

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Gary Kemp always wanted Spandu Ballet to do a Bond theme and was really annoyed that Duran Duran were asked instead. I remember he was doing a commentary on his songs once and for one of them he said it was written with the idea that it could potentially be a James Bond theme, but I don't remember which one it was.

Probably "Gold".

I would actually say "To Cut A Long Story Short".

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