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iospace
Apr 20, 2020




Fun Shoe

KEY DATES (thanks Kilza):

June 20 - NHL Awards
June 22/23 - NHL Draft
July 1 - NHL Free Agency
July 2 - death

e:

kaylani lei porn tube TRADES of note

Arizona gets: Alex Galchenyuk
Montreal gets: Max Domi

San Jose gets: Mike Hoffman, Cody Donaghey, 2020 5th
Ottawa gets: Mikkel Boedker, Julius Bergman, 2020 6th

Florida gets: Mike Hoffman, 2018 7th
San Jose gets: 2018 4th, 2018 5th, 2019 2nd

Edmonton traded up in the draft to take their goalie consultant's son.

Calgary gets: Noah Hanifin, Elias Lindholm
Carolina gets: Dougie Hamilton, Michael Ferland, Adam Fox

Buffalo gets: Conor Sheary, Matt Hunwick
Pittsburgh gets: conditional 2019 3rd

Montreal gets: Steve Mason, Joel Armia, 2019 7th, 2020 4th
Winnipeg gets: Simon Bourque

St Louis gets: Ryan O'Reilly
Buffalo gets: Tage Thompson, Vladimir Sobotka, Patrik Berglund, 2019 1st, 2021 2nd


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Joakim Nordstrom 2 over 2 years
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Carter Hutton 8.25 over 3 years

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James Neal 28.75 over 5 years

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Philipp Grubauer 10 over 3 years
Ian Cole 12.75 over 3 years
Matt Calvert 8.4 over 3 years

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Riley Nash 8.25 over 3 years
Boone Jenner 15 over 4 years

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Valeri Nicushkin 5.9 over 2 years
Blake Comeau 7.2 over 3 years
Anton Khudobin 5 over 2 years

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Mike Green 10.75 over 2 year
Tomas Vanek 3 over 1 year
Jonathan Bernier 9 over 3 years

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Tobias Rieder 2 over 1 year
Kyle Brodziak 2.3 over 2 years

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Ilya Kovalchuk 18.75 over 3 years
Drew Doughty 88 over 8 years

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Greg Pateryn 6.75 over 3 years

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Tomas Plekanec 2.25 over 1 year
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Thomas Hickey 10 over 4 years
Leo Komarov 12 over 4 years

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James van Riemsdyk 35 over 5 years

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Niklas Hjalmarsson 10 over 2 years (starts 19-20)
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Bryan Rust 14 over 4 years
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Logan Couture 64 over 8 years
Joe Thornton 5 over 1 year

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David Perron 16 over 4 years
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JT Miller 26.25 over 5 years
Ryan McDonagh 47.25 over 7 years (starts 19-20)

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Ryan Reaves 5.6 over 2 years
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Jay Beagle 12 over 4 years
Tim Schaller 3.8 over 2 years
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Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006



Fun Shoe

How mad are you all gonna be when Rutherford signs Tavares

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iospace
Apr 20, 2020




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Funny way of spelling GMGM.

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Feb 14, 2010

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Tavares is gonna hang out with his BFF PK in Nashville.

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iospace
Apr 20, 2020




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Tavares is gonna hang out with his BFF PK in Nashville.

I'd be down for this.

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Mind_Taker
May 7, 2007

He's the best mindfuck yet


Tavares is a boring-as-poo poo personality and he’s going to do the boring-as-poo poo thing and re-sign with the Islanders.

Edit: look how blessed I am to be a Caps fan:

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Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

i'm so fuckkin pumped now arty i'm seein these big numbers next to my name it's like i outscored the guy we got traded for... whoa nasher you look like you had a rough season, you could use a vacation, i bet cally's got a lot of free time down in tampa.

Ovi rules, he is the champion the cup deserves.

Tavares re-signing with the Islanders is not going to be boring, because they're going to allow 300 goals.

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Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006



Fun Shoe

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Ovi rules, he is the champion the cup deserves.

Tavares re-signing with the Islanders is not going to be boring, because they're going to allow 300 goals.

They got rid of Weight. There's no way Lou signs a coach who would give up 300 goals

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Aces High
Mar 26, 2010

and then we'll have pancakes to celebrate and I'll be like EURGNOMEHREUGN.



how much does that cup weigh? He's sure getting a good arm workout by not ever letting go of it

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Oct 7, 2002

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They got rid of Weight. There's no way Lou signs a coach who would give up 300 goals

Bah gawd that's AVs music!

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Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004



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how much does that cup weigh? He's sure getting a good arm workout by not ever letting go of it

Each player gets a day with the Cup but Ovechkin has to carry it for them.

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Boomer The Cannon
Oct 27, 2011

Gotta see it live!




You missed where they started to sing "We Are The Champions" to the reporter, got bored mid-line and started chugging beers.

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Mage_Boy
Dec 18, 2003

This hotdog is about as real as your story Steve Simmons

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how much does that cup weigh? He's sure getting a good arm workout by not ever letting go of it

I thought it was Michael Jordan's arm holding it though?

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Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

i'm so fuckkin pumped now arty i'm seein these big numbers next to my name it's like i outscored the guy we got traded for... whoa nasher you look like you had a rough season, you could use a vacation, i bet cally's got a lot of free time down in tampa.

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They got rid of Weight. There's no way Lou signs a coach who would give up 300 goals

There's two years left on Greiss' 3-year, 10m deal. His save percentage was .892 last year.

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Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!


Dinosaur Gum

John Carlson, Tom Wilson and Michael Kempny take a SC discount. Grubauer and Burakovsky get traded for some cheap young talent. Orpik gets bought out (won’t happen since he was actually great in the playoffs).

This is the formula for a repeat in 2018–19.

If Carlson doesn’t come back it’s going to be real interesting. Show us what you got MacLellan!

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Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

i'm so fuckkin pumped now arty i'm seein these big numbers next to my name it's like i outscored the guy we got traded for... whoa nasher you look like you had a rough season, you could use a vacation, i bet cally's got a lot of free time down in tampa.

Caps have 63.8m in cap hit, 10F 4D 2G signed next year. The cap is probably going to be around 78m. This gives them 14m to re-sign Carlson, Wilson, 1F+1D, and spares.

Carlson gets 7-8m for 8 years. He has no reason to go anywhere else, and the organization would be foolish to let him walk. They need another swing at it next year.

Wilson had a good playoff performance with 15 points, scored a career high 35 in the regular season, but did so playing with all-stars. He's going to get paid for his reputation, probably 3-4m, but they should definitely be careful not to create an albatross here.

Kempny was good in the playoffs, but ultimately he's replaceable. They should have room, since he shouldn't cost too much.

DSP is this year's Brian Bickell. Great playoffs, good guy, but much more than 1m would be laughably bad, especially if they're losing one of the above guys in the resulting cap crunch.

Bowey likely gets his QO, and Boyd get a two-way deal. There's your spares.

Seems entirely possible, as long as they don't get stupid and pay the depth guys and not the big guys, especially Carlson.

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TITTIEKISSER69
Mar 19, 2005

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how much does that cup weigh? He's sure getting a good arm workout by not ever letting go of it

About 35 pounds of silver

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hallebarrysoetoro
Jun 14, 2003




Kempny absolutely needs to be re-signed, he's a top 4 defenseman (albeit closer to the 3-4 spot...)

Beagle needs to be allowed to walk, no way they can pay him for what some other team looking for GRITLEADERSHIPCUPWINNER

DSP the same, he scored some of the biggest goals but he's going to get over a million on the market

Wilson should get re-signed because despite him being a dirty as poo poo he's still remarkably skilled. If he turned a Cooke and stopped trying to murder people on ice he'd be even more productive

Buying out Orpik might be nice, I don't know, apart from a few isolated fuckups he was a rock (figuratively and literally) during the playoffs. The Caps had to rely on the other 4 skaters to get the puck out of the zone

but just whatever happens, don't pull the same poo poo that McPhee did when he was overpaying players left and right because he fell in love with them. There have been so many albatross contracts from 20 some odd years of that poo poo

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Jackie D
May 27, 2009

Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.


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stab
Feb 12, 2003
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If any of my staff ever dared to have a bottle of water at their register I'd kill them


- A Fuckwit



Goddamn ovi owns

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LumpyGumby
Feb 22, 2012

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It's the avalanches turn to make the central division a nightmare so we're going to sign Tavares, sorry y'all.

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fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain


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Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!


Dinosaur Gum

I was sure wrong about Trotz. While I'll probably keep getting frustrated by the way he benches kids, back the truck up to that man's house and keep him in DC. He deserves a lot of credit.

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fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain


captials will finish dead last in the nhl next year because all of them are going to show up to training cap out of shape and still drunk from partying

also with broken kneecaps after phil pritchard has to start busting them to get the cup back from the team

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Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

i'm so fuckkin pumped now arty i'm seein these big numbers next to my name it's like i outscored the guy we got traded for... whoa nasher you look like you had a rough season, you could use a vacation, i bet cally's got a lot of free time down in tampa.

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Kempny absolutely needs to be re-signed, he's a top 4 defenseman (albeit closer to the 3-4 spot...)

Why do you think he's a #3-4? He played the 4th most minutes in the playoffs, but it seems like there's a pretty big drop from Carlson/Niskanen/Orlov to him.

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Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!


Dinosaur Gum

Yeah - he's actually pretty similar to Orlov but not as strong defensively. I love how angry he gets though. He's a little bit dirty. Also he seems to really like women's breasts.

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Porrima
Oct 18, 2012

The world is fucked
and so are you.

Thanks, humanity


I'm very late with this, but congratulations to Capitals, most of their players, fans of capital and even Kawalimus.
Please tone it down from now on so I don't have to lessail you to the list, since you seem to be a good person.

I like any result where a long-suffering team wins a cup.

Maybe St. Louis will get one some day too. Or Buffalo. Or Canucks. I mean, how many years do we got before our civilization collapses?
And will future mutant hockey league honor previous nhl results.

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Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land






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Yeah - he's actually pretty similar to Orlov but not as strong defensively. I love how angry he gets though. He's a little bit dirty. friday the 13th porn Also he seems to really like women's breasts.

Hell, same



haha OV definitely sleeps with the Cup and not his pregnant wife



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Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

i'm so fuckkin pumped now arty i'm seein these big numbers next to my name it's like i outscored the guy we got traded for... whoa nasher you look like you had a rough season, you could use a vacation, i bet cally's got a lot of free time down in tampa.

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Yeah - he's actually pretty similar to Orlov but not as strong defensively. I love how angry he gets though. He's a little bit dirty. Also he seems to really like women's breasts.

OK but that involves throwing single dollars at someone, not millions.

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z0331
Oct 2, 2003

big teen pussy lips Holtby thy name


They should make one of those websites like adrienne bailon naked pictures and it just has a giant NOPE until the preseason starts.

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Mage_Boy
Dec 18, 2003

This hotdog is about as real as your story Steve Simmons

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It's the avalanches turn to make the central division a nightmare so we're going to sign Tavares, sorry y'all.

The Avalance are going to win the draft lottery next year with the Senators pick for maximum hilarity no matter how they play this season.

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fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain


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They should make one of those websites like teen female comedic monologues and it just has a giant NOPE until the preseason starts.

hes afraid that if he stops drinking the collective hangover will kill him

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Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004



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Slappy Pappy
Oct 15, 2003

Mighty, mighty eagle soaring free
Defender of our homes and liberty
Bravery, humility, and honesty...
Mighty, mighty eagle, rescue me!


Dinosaur Gum


Of course it's Larry Brooks. Good though - anything to start re-building that chip on Ovi's shoulder.

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Oct 7, 2002

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And this nincompoop got into the hhof

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ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

He's not wrong that the NHL playoff format is stupid as hell

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May 7, 2007

He's the best mindfuck yet


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May 13, 2012


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He's not wrong that the NHL playoff format is stupid as hell

No it's great actually.

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Jan 11, 2007

Goal, assist, fight.


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Apr 27, 2004

Om nom nom


Living his best life.

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